Music Banter - Your Day

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord (Post 1879516)

My toilet is old and needs to be replaced. The plumber came by today and helped us choose a new toilet from a brochure. It's tankless, self-cleaning, and has a crapload of functions like ass washing and seat warming and whatnot. Comes out to $2300, including labor. He threw in some other features, like cushioned flooring for the bathroom, for free (he said it was because of the cuteness of our kids, but I think it's because I bought a $2300 toilet off him and paid in cash I had lying around the house).

Thanks for making my job easier.

I've replaced all three toilets in my house myself. Total cost was less than $500.

1 - screwdriver
1 - adjustable wrench
1 - putty knife
3 - new wax rings.

Some folks blow cash on things they crap in. I'd rather buy another guitar. :D

Re: Ass washing. $1.79 at Wall-Mart.

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....ZL._SX355_.jpg

tbh that does sound like a ****ing awesome toilet.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwertyy (Post 1879574)

tbh that does sound like a ****ing awesome toilet.

Reminds me of a joke.

This dude got to fly in premium deluxe first class one time and was amazed to see that they had both male and female toilets, instead of the normal unisex ones in coach.

He's got to take a dump real bad and notices a couple of guys waiting for the men's one but the women's one is vacant. So he quietly slips inside and locks the door.

After he's done he notices a series of buttons on the wall next to the commode. Curious, he pushes the one labeled WW.

A sudden mist of warm water rinses his butt. Nice! He then pushes the one labeled ST.

A soft tissue gently dries his rear end. Cool! He then pushes the one labeled PP.

A soft cotton puff proceeds to powders his ass. Sweet! Finally he pushes the one labeled ATR.

BAM!!!!! Everthing goes black. Hours later he wakes up in a hospital bed with a nurse standing by his side. She asks how he's feeling and then tells him they tried everything possible but were unsuccessful, and that they'd already set up counselling for when he was back on his feet.

Confused, he asks her what happened. She leans down and whispers in his ear.......

"That last button was the Automatic Tampon Remover."

:D:D:D

so is masturbation not a thing or...

Well you can all ignore it but I thought it was a good joke, Chula.
(That's the forum equivalent of the Black Spot, right? Endorsement from Trollheart = Death?) :laughing:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord (Post 1879736)

DIY isn't a thing in Japan.

Do it yourself doesn't involve the collective and is therefore frownlanded upon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord (Post 1879779)

Do it yourself doesn't involve the collective and is therefore frownlanded upon.

You dishonour your ancestors if you do it yourself, and their ghosts will come and haunt your house.

When you say frownlanded I picture a sad wrestler body slamming someone.