We have no written agreement, he was just a friend who asked if he and his unemployed fiance could live upstairs in my home. Technically he pays month to month so I could give him a 30 day notice to vacate.

He's one of my only remaining friends after I left my abusive spouse so I hope to maintain the friendship. I think I'm going to give him a verbal 60 days and then a legal printed notice at 30 days, as I understand it takes time to find a job.

He claims he's good for the money so I don't want to damage that potential or the friendship. I'm just concerned for all of our safety every day he stays. I'd rather not have my house burn down or die in a fire.

I know you’re pissed that he overloaded your house’s circuitry and flipped the breaker back but it also sounds like your wiring is old. These days almost everybody has to use power strips. No money is an issue but friendship is another. Can’t you talk to him about fire safety and be like I know it’s inconvenient but your room can only handle two or three appliances at a time? I think if he gets it now it should be cool.

I appreciate your input. I had building inspectors and electricians thoroughly examine everything. The wiring is all brand new - I had the floor wired specifically for him. And they confirmed that everything was 100% to code and that it was his gross negligence that caused the fire.

The fireman, the electrician, and my fireman co-worker confirmed that he was overloading the circuit and that space heaters should NEVER be plugged into thin gauge extension cords, especially if they are in turn plugged into ungrounded outlet adapters.

He runs the heaters 24/7 with no one home to supervise (for his cats). A single 15A heater was confirmed to push the circuit beyond 80% of its max load and he has 20-odd other things Daisy chained onto the circuit.

Even the massive fire hazard aside, he lives in absolute filth and treats my home like his dorm room. I'm exhausted spending all my evenings cleaning up after him. (I've tried asking him to do it but he is useless.)

It's also unnerving that I have no privacy - they sit in my dining room and stare at me while I have guests over and I have to sit in my car if I want to make a phone call. I haven't felt comfortable entertaining for the better part of a year.

It will be an incredible relief to have a clean home to myself again once he's finally out. (Sorry for the rant.)

I feel you, man

Company and fish

It also sounds like y’all are just on different ends of the courtesy spectrum.

I’m not trying to put you on blast but I’m just wondering if you’ve talked to him directly about **** or do you just expect him to have enough common sense?

I’m so direct it freaks people out but it gets things out in the open. Once you pass a certain age it’s hard to accept new habits and new people in your ****.

Hence, my relationship with Frowny.

If y’all move in together please make a reality show.

A fair question.

I've directly communicated numerous concerns. I have to follow up with him daily to do his dishes and to clean the grease he leaves on the stove and wall. I have to chase after him weekly to toss his expired food. I had to ask him three times to clean the thick layer of brown filth he and his partner left on the tub as he continues to fail to follow my instructions to spray and wipe it down after each shower. He informed me that he had already "cleaned" the tub, but had left behind all the filth and large clumps of dried hair. (Sorry to be graphic.) I constantly have to ask them to pick up their miscellaneous belongings and random trash that they leave everywhere in my living space.

For a tidy gentleman like myself, it's hell. In a way the fire is a blessing in that it should result in him exiting sooner rather than later.

lol

Very Oscar Wildelike.

From a slob’s perspective I’ve heard plenty about doing the fair share of the cleaning and being reasonable in shared spaces. On the other hand, I never considered it my problem if the other person expected things immaculate. I was like I’ll do half the cleaning but we have to meet somewhere in the middle about how clean. I was only willing to do my share to keep things reasonably clean, not grandma clean. If cleaning the tub and wiping grease off the wall is daily for you and that’s like monthly **** to me wouldn’t be reasonable to do that deep clean stuff like every ten days or so? You don’t like cleaning his **** but he doesn’t like cleaning **** that doesn’t need to be cleaned (from his POV)

It's curious that you say that - I am compared to Wilde with some frequency! Though I confess that my knowledge of the fellow is painfully inadequate. I understand that often people are drawing parallels to our respective outlandish attire, but I'm not directly familiar with his philosophy. Forgive me!

Another reasonable observation; thank you. I did arrive at that on my own after some time and realized that I was exhausting myself unnecessarily. I settled into a routine of asking him to clean up after himself only after permitting a fair window of opportunity for him to do it on his own and only when the mess reached a threshold of my tolerability.

The tub was a slow build up of his failure to employ the simple maintenance steps I'd previously requested, and I let it go for a few months before reaching my breaking point. The routine of expired food requires weekly follow ups or else I find mold forming on mysterious takeaway substances that he and his partner neglect indefinitely until I raise the issue.

Basically, any mess will remain a permanent fixture until I voice a concern. There are candy bar wrappers on my dining room table that he's left for about a week and I'm almost tempted to see if they outlast him as an experiment.

My sincerest apologies for prattling on. He is my burden to bear for accepting him into my home to begin with and I'll be rid of him soon enough. It will be marvelous to have my peace back and to be able to invite company over again one day.

Sounds like he’s just plain immature.