I have years of experience in the art of the DIY seance

Gross.

What kind of seances?

This is how she knows boys are gross. Boys don't wash their penises correctly and she's sick of trying to summon Azazel while fondling sweaty ten-year-old genitals.

Satanic rituals don't really include pedophilia...

Nice name drop. My friend's little brother's screen name is Azazel.

Edit: I'm sure he got the name from Supernatural at some point. He watches that show non stop.

Most Satanists are just bored atheist trolls. They don't know the power of thrusting into a pre-pubescent boy surrounded by candles.

True except Howard Lavey used to let Satanic priests molest his grandkids, according to rumors.

Christians say lots of things, you ****ing plebe. Now send me your nieces' social media information.

Nah, wasn't a Christian rumor I think it came from his kids.

According to his own kids and his siblings he was kind of a piece of ****. There was a time when his daughter had to call the police and pull him off of her mother as he was choking her.

Is Howard the father of Anton?

And my specialties include but are not limited to:

- ouija boards made from discarded pizza boxes and magic markers

- sleepover tricks like Bloody Mary & Light As A Feather Stiff As A Board

- candlemaking

- potion making

- communication with spirits who know a lot about middle school gossip

Nah that's Anton's real name. Mother****er acting like he's not trying to use his nieces as sensual focus points for black magic.