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Old 04-20-2014, 08:28 AM   #27471 (permalink)
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I just got a phone call from my 6 year old nephew telling me I have to watch the local news tonight because he's being interviewed on it for winning a local Easter Egg hunting competition.
Apparently the little bugger found 15 of them.
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Old 04-20-2014, 08:37 AM   #27472 (permalink)
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I just got a phone call from my 6 year old nephew telling me I have to watch the local news tonight because he's being interviewed on it for winning a local Easter Egg hunting competition.
Apparently the little bugger found 15 of them.
Good job little eggmonger!
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Old 04-20-2014, 08:56 AM   #27473 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ? View Post
I just got a phone call from my 6 year old nephew telling me I have to watch the local news tonight because he's being interviewed on it for winning a local Easter Egg hunting competition.
Apparently the little bugger found 15 of them.
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Good job little eggmonger!
Eggcellent!
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Old 04-20-2014, 08:59 AM   #27474 (permalink)
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Well I wasn't eggspecting this reaction.
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Old 04-20-2014, 09:03 AM   #27475 (permalink)
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It's an eggciting time. Eggcelsior!
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Old 04-20-2014, 06:37 PM   #27476 (permalink)
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easter dinner with my family pretending to not be high woot
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Old 04-20-2014, 06:43 PM   #27477 (permalink)
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The people of Toronto are lucky if they're complaining about loud headphones. Around here there are a lot of people who think that listening to music on the subway without headphones is perfectly acceptable. Also, there are the people who just sing out loud at the top of their lungs.

Yeah...

Nope.


Never done that.

Not ever even once.
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Old 04-20-2014, 06:44 PM   #27478 (permalink)
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easter dinner with my family pretending to not be high woot
I... I Must be high. (WILCO)
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Old 04-21-2014, 12:03 AM   #27479 (permalink)
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Some of our stoner associates requested today off (let's get real here, these punks didn't request it off because it's Easter; they wanted it off so they could sit at home and smoke weed all day) and another one has a kidney infection so we were ridiculously short staffed.

Spoiler for Long story about my day + crazy bitch story:
I started my day cleaning up the mess that was left behind from the day before. My main bosslady was so upset about it that she ordered us all to stay late and clean the entire salesfloor. (We were there for an additional hour and half.)

People were terribly messy; our shoe department was so ridiculous at some point that it took THREE of us to get the shoes off the floor. Things were strewn over and under racks, and no matter how much time was spent on the salesfloor cleaning it all up, people still fucked it up. Apparently we were the only store (apart from Target and Chevron) that was open today, and I guess the consumer zombies needed to get their "make a huge fucking mess for no reason and buy shit we don't need on a holiday" fix. It seemed like everyone in town was in our store at some point today.

I was talking with one of our young, hopeful associates (so much potential, but I feel he's wasting it all by not doing anything with his innate talents and knowledge) about how disgusting people really are, and how it's almost uncomfortable to be alive sometimes because we're part of the human race, the shittiest mammals of all. We spoke of death and how in the end, everyone is a corpse. Everyone is only bones. Everyone is forgotten and existence is a vain display of existential denial.

He thinks I'm cool. These kids are alright.

Anyway.

Here's a recap of a drunk, stoned/strung out on drugs?? chick and her trashy boyfriend -

6:30pm (half an hour before closing time) - Drunk chick gushes over my hair, grabs it violently, then asks where her size in jeans would be - then decides she's another size and somehow fails to read the size labels on the rack (probably because she could hardly see straight) - Drunk Chick is slumped over racks and tripping on herself

6:50pm (10mins before closing time) - Drunk chick enters fitting room; astonishingly she picks up after herself (I was awestruck)

7:05pm (5mins after closing time) - Drunk chick is at register; she has fallen short of funds to pay for her cartload of random shit she doesn't need, and begins to harass my supervisor

7:10pm (10mins after closing time) - My supervisor loses his temper, attempts to kick Drunk Chick out. She becomes belligerent; supervisor calls the police for the first time in his entire retail career (and he's twice my age)

7:15pm (15mins after closing time) - Drunk Chick gets scared and bails, throws hangers and merchandise everywhere, makes a huge fucking scene and almost makes my supervisor cry because he's so terrified

I stayed in my department throughout the duration of this ordeal. I was tempted to try to help get rid of that nasty woman, but I had a lot to do and my supervisor handles himself well. Had it been one of our young cashiers (one is only 16, the other is ... 18/19ish) I would have gotten myself arrested with what I would have done to that fucking bitch.

I'm really hoping she gets her drunk ass into a fatal collision. Natural selection, cuntrag.


And now I'm just relaxing with the Doors and a strong drink to cool my nerves. I feel much better now. I have two days in a row coming up. I'm going to relax as much as possible.

As I said earlier as I was leaving work: retail is for the very brave, and the very brave only.
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Old 04-21-2014, 01:37 AM   #27480 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Urban Hat€monger ? View Post
Well I wasn't eggspecting this reaction.
Sometimes you have to just give them a crack.
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