I don't know. If you say you love your cat I'll take your word for it.

But you don't know how things affect him. What's there to be offended about? Some people find intentional abandonment worse than death. That's not questioning the profundity of other people's loss. Why do people want to have a monopoly on suffering?

You're right TH there is no comparison.. for you. I however, don't feel that way, and what I described is the primary factor when I get depressed. Death has never bothered me in the same way, there is nothing to be offended about, it's just how I'm wired. You don't ALWAYS have the chance to reconnect.. that's a bs statement.

Idk why some of you feel the need to tell others how they should feel about personal emotions.

I meant ... oh never mind.
Just how I feel. I don't think there's anything that can compare to losing your parents or loved ones for real. And when I said there's a chance, that's what I meant: there is always a chance. You don't know what will happen in the future. There's every possibility you may bump into or hear from this person again, whereas if they're dead that's not happening. Unless you're a psychic or possibly high I guess. I didn't say you WOULD reconnect with them, I said you had a CHANCE. And you do. You always do, until someone dies, then that chance is gone.

Nobody has a monopoly on suffering, but equating falling out with or losing touch with or even being abandoned, as you see it, by people, with actually losing someone from this Earth just seems like it's trivialising the loss of a loved one or friend to death. I know that's not how you intended it, but that's how it came across to me. I'm entitled to my opinion, you're entitled to yours. I'm entitled to tell you that something you said offended me, just as you're equally entitled to tell me to **** off. Which I'm sure you will. And which I will.

No there isn't. I'm sorry you can't comprehend that.

Nothing is being trivialized without the assumption that when someone speaks for themself they're also speaking for you or even for everybody.

I dislike when people speak as if there's universal truth about what's profound.

Example, you can't understand what it's like until you have a child.

For me it wouldn't mean ****. That's why I don't have one. I could go around telling people they'll never have the slightest clue what it means to understand Coltrane. I could imply their lives are obviously empty without Coltrane. I have no interest in projecting the intricacies of my experience as something that is or should be universal to all. I can hear their scoffs already. The absurdity that I love Coltrane's music more than a mother loves her own child. I could reply if you tended to your child the way I tended to my understanding of Coltrane your child wouldn't be under a viaduct shooting smack. But I keep that to myself. Maybe you see death as the ultimate loss because you've been sheltered from the horrors of other kinds of loss. Are you so certain that losing a parent to death is worse for EVERYONE than having a parent simply say **** you. I don't want you. No goodbye. Just gone. We can accept others' hardships as explained or put our grief on a measuring stick. When someone expresses what has and does grieve them personally unless they add and what hurts me would hurt you equally there's no reason to assume that's what's implied.

So you can predict the future now? Like, I couldn't say that someone I haven't spoken to for twenty years isn't somehow going to end up back in my life in some way. Probably won't happen, but there's absolutely no certainty that it won't. I'm sorry you can't comprehend that.
This would all be fine if he had not said "The real bitch is losing people who aren't dead". That implies that he thinks it's the same for everyone. I already said it's his opinion, and my opinion is it offends me. I'm offended, though not in any huge way. I mentioned it. I'm not going to take it back. I have lost more people over the years to know how it hurts like hell when someone dies on you, and for ME, there is no comparison. Didn't say there isn't for anyone else, but it doesn't stop me being offended that someone would make a comment of that nature.

He's entitled to feel whatever way he wants, so are you, just as I'm entitled to raise an objection. I'm not asking him, or you, to ratify or justify that objection, but it doesn't stop me having it, and voicing it.

I cried when my old cat got put to sleep. Had him for 18 years. He was an absolute c*nt to everyone else but he seemed to like me. Used to corner my wife and try to take her down like a buffalo. Little psycho, lol. Whenever he tried **** like that with me I stood up to him and chased him out of the house. I think he respected me for that.

He sounds like the kind who'd want to go down in a blaze of glory. Did he go down in a blaze of glory?

No 'fraid not. Found him in the driveway half-paralysed dragging himself along by his front legs. I thought he might have been hit by a car as his legs were kind of torn up but I took him to the vet and they reckoned it was more likely a clot in his spine. Anyway a few days of treatment at the vets and he was just getting worse and miserable so made the hard call to put him down. I patted him as he passed away and he was growling at the vet. The growling slowly faded and he was gone and I cried like a baby. Poor old fella.

Oh man. I was driving one day and the car in front of my stopped short. Turns out the car in front of him hit a cat that was trying to get across the road. I know this because after traffic started to move, I saw the cat crawling with his front two legs like you just described but his back legs were f*cked. I felt so bad. The little critter most likely died in a great deal of pain. I almost stopped to try to find out whose cat it belonged to but I I decided seeing other people that upset would probably kill me so I kept driving. Somebody that night couldn't find their pet and had to walk out to that. Sad.

Yes, having a child is just like "getting" Coltrane.....

Good lord.

Hey man. I'm sure the cat appreciated your concern.

That exchange was deleted. Carry on.

No. Getting Coltrane is more important than raising a kid. To me. Is that OK?

Do you think I should have been a father?

You might have surprised yourself. Neither of my kids were planned for what it's worth.

I agree with DWV, sometimes losing somebody that you cared for because they don't want to be around you is much more painful than a death.

About 12 years ago a good friend died. He was the same age as me, both 35. He was a haemophiliac and had to get a blood transfusion when he was a kid - unfortunately this was before blood was screened for HIV, and he became one of the only people in Australia to get hospital-aquired HIV. He was a great guy - knowing that his days were numbered he lived every day as if it were his last. I'm tearing up just writing this. He was a prolific singer-songwriter with a very dark sense of humour. Here is Baterz playing live not long before he left us:

Sorry about your friend. That song was hilarious.

I know you qualified that with "might". I think I would have worked very hard at it. But I'm so clear about it. I don't want one. I never wanted one. I wouldn't want to work hard at it. I've said to people exactly that clearly and heard I think you'd make a great father. The ****? What could possibly be a better indicator that you shouldn't breed than not wanting a ****ing kid? No matter how I tried how could I be a good father to a kid I wished didn't exist? My mind wouldn't change. I understand that because I was raised by a father who obviously despised my very existence. **** the kid I would have ****ed up. Why the **** would I do that to MYSELF? I wanted to listen to Coltrane not to some **** replica of my own ****ed DNA. Once in my life I wish someone would say Occult you're a ****ed up **** but at least you had sense enough not to have a goddamn kid. It's like one of the very few responsible decisions I ever made.

Occult you're a ****ed up **** but at least you had sense enough not to have a goddamn kid.

:beer:

I appreciate that. There's a dead junky who never lived thanks to me.

I have a friend that used to think the same way about kids until he met his baby mama. They actually both never wanted a kid. Then something changed and they both wanted to have a kid. And now that kid means more to him than anything. Even drugs and sluts and he loves drugs and sluts.

Yeah. That's pretty common.

In my opinion if you don't quit drugging you obviously don't give a **** about your kid but whatever.

Linda was on birth control and based on her doctor's recommendation stopped it for a while. We reverted to using the rythym method. Six months later - holy ****! Shortly after we ended up in the emergency room because she was in massive pain. The doctor came out after a while and said that she might have a tubular pregancy which would need to be aborted, but they wouldn't know for sure until the next morning.

I drove home alone that night with extreme mixed feelings. We were both only 22, **** poor, and not ready at all.

The next morning I get the call. We're going to have a baby. 7 months later I hear her crying in the kitchen, walk in, and she's standing in a puddle scared ****less.

Grab the pre-prepared suitacse and rush to the hospital. 12 hours later: "It's a girl!"

Surreal is not a strong enough word. Time for Linda to crash so I go with the nurse to measure and weigh the baby. I notice that her skull is really oblong and mention it to the nurse. She says it's normal and what happens so a baby can get through the birth canal.

I reply: Is it going to get back to normal? She answers: Have you ever seen an adult walking around with a head like that? :laughing:

On the drive home (alone again) I had to pull over and get out of the car because the lightning bolt finally hit me. I'm a father! :yikes:

What a long strange trip it's been. And I get to walk her down the aisle on Saturday.

https://scontent.fsan1-2.fna.fbcdn.n...98&oe=59A3382A

I feel like having a child always seems to give somebody a special sense of meaning that I never want to experience.

Damn. For a second there I thought this might have a happy ending.

lol

Good way to put it.

Thank God there's lots of people like me that cancel out people like you. Otherwise the human race might have fizzled out centuries ago.

Although if this was the last thing I ever saw as a man, I'd be happy.

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...kin_bikini.jpg

You don't just cancel us out, you vastly out number us at a dangerous proportion. Overpopulation is a real and terrible threat. And I'm a firm believer in the Church of Euthanasia. Well, not that we need to kill off the human race to save the planet, but that population growth is an eventual problem that needs to be fixed. I also don't give too much of a **** to be honest. I don't plan on living long enough to see those repercussions. People like you, you're good fathers and raise good people. People like me would make ****ty fathers and acknowledge it and do our part to try and keep our population under control.

Edit: Even if I have to drop kick a pot belly.

Thanks. I deeply and truly appreciate that. I also agree that doctors should have the ability to check out people who've reached that point in life.

I plan on taking my glock, climbing into a local dumpster, and making a mess when the time comes. Linda actually pretty much knows this. I will NOT become a medical, financial, and emotional burden, with no hope of getting better, for my wife and kids.

Come on, you can be a lot more messy than that. At least try to get some of your brains to land on a politician or something.

So I guess you're not having an open casket funeral?

Don't they keep locks on the dumpsters in San Diego?

Nah, I'm good to go.




Damn, what an awesome pun!

What song are you going to be listening to?

I'm just saying, there's better ways to do it.

Something by Wolves in Sheepskin. Will make pulling the trigger so easy.

My sister is a nurse. I'll definately reach out to her for some pills.

You'll reach out to your sister because she'll beg you not to do it. Pills are the bitch move call out for help suicide attempt. Even bringing it up here. People who want to die get to it and do it. Call the ****ing helpline. No one here gives a ****.

If I was terminally ill she'd 100% help.

Read my lips:

We all know you have no soul. But have some reading comprehension. The word suicide has no place here. Get a clue.

Broad brush has taken over this place. Frowny would miss the **** out of me, even if he won't admit it.