Mice
 

No, not the computer kind and not the cartoon ones either. Real ones. Urgh! You ever been infested? We had a nest of them in the shed last year (pest control guy said a conservative estimate would be about 170 of the ****ers! Took a few weeks and a LOT of poison to get rid. Mind you, our shed was a ****ing mouse Mecca: old boxes gone soggy with mould and damp, old paint cans, rotten wood ... even an ancient radiogram that was only being held together by the various woodworm living in it.

After they were gone (and I knew they were) I hired someone to clear the whole place out, and now there's nothing there. Completely empty. **** off mice and find a new home.

And now they're back.

But this time it's not us. They've come, said the same pest control guy, from someone else's shed/garden/house/whatever, and have been attracted to our garden by the frigging birdseed I leave out. Wanted to have the small remaining grass area concreted over, so as to minimise spilled seed and make it easier to sweep up. It's approx 100 square feet (25 x 4) and some guy wanted 800 Euro for the job! I ... thought about it and then forgot to call him back.

But I tell you, there's little creepier than looking out the window and seeing those little ****s dart back and forth, into the shed (even though it's empty now, I guess it's shelter as it's dry) from the poison boxes and back, along the walls, INTO the ****ing wall (they found small holes they can get through) and occasionally move like they're on ****ing WHEELS up the garden. Jesus! I hope they all die soon.

And before you ask, no, my cats are no use. Too well-fed and not interested in chasing mice cos, you know, that's like work, man. I'd rather stay in here and sleep, if it's all the same to you.

Anyone else had this problem at all? If you think mice are cute and harmless, watch them advance like little ****ing soldiers up your lawn, and then talk to me.

Vermin.

The little closet that holds our water heater has mice droppings on the floor and sometimes I hear those ****ers in the wall but I’ve never actually seen one of them.

A cat got stuck in the woodwork probably looking to eat one. The thing cried for a bit then died. My neighbor complained about the smell and my landlord went and fished it out. The smell didn’t come into my apartment. The feral cats aren’t too bad as long as they’re not too brazen. There was one that I couldn’t chase off. It would stand its ground and hiss in the alley that leads into this building. I finally got sick of it so I clocked it with a tree branch. I was hoping I had just knocked it out but next time I went out there it was dead. Stiff with flies buzzing around. I had to get drunk before I could bare to put it in a garbage bag and throw it in a dumpster.

That's for the depressing story OH, you're going to hell m8.

*bear

Is it? Goddamn if that didn’t cross my ****ing mind...

Should’ve checked

I’m off my game recently

No wonder you were a failure as a teacher.

Yeah I think they're cute, but I'd rather not have them in my home.

**** you, Frownland

Just set your cat on them mate.

So you kill a ton of them because they are living in a **** hole you have no use for except storing old disgusting trash.. sounds like karma to me.

#GreyLivesMatter

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon....4,203,200_.jpg

I'd say this is a fair point.

Where giants cats will chase him
No it was a cat, he said so.
https://media.giphy.com/media/pQmWjYrz39YAg/giphy.gif
They're not. You wouldn't think that if every time you looked out your window into the garden the little ****s were scuttling back and forth. Oh wait, you let flies walk on you, don't you? Forgot you're weird. Still, have them infest your garden and see if you feel the same way.
Toldya, they suffer from a congenital disease called laziness and fatness. Not interested.
Hey! My house is NOT a ****hole! You take that back!

You live in your shed?

Ssh! Don't tell the council or they'll raise the rent! :pssst:

Mice make being a big pussy ideal. **** em.

i had a mice problem once in a apartment i first moved into but nipped it in the butt quick with some traps and cheesseee n peanut butter

but i just had 3 mice not that big of a colony

im sure if u had a house near woods then yeah your going to get alot more insects and furry animals

*bud

Nipped in the butt :D

Should have a malapropism thread.

I don't have mice but there are definitely rats living in my garage and under the porch. I swear my dog keeps them as pets though, he refuses to step off the deck at night but all day long buries his food out in the yard, which I assume is for the fatties. I kept rats as pets when he was a pup so maybe that has something to do with it.

Tentatively hoping the ****ers are gone/dead now. Hasn't been any movement in a week, no corpses either. Opened the shed in case there was a killzone in there, but no, nothing. So hopefully that's it. The poison in the boxes will, I'm told, last all year, so if any more come sniffing around they'll get a nasty surprise.

#RodentHolocaust2018
#OnlyGoodMouseIsADeadmau5
#GreyLivesDon'tMatter

Fuck that.

#ResdaynWillRiseAgain

That's not how mouse traps work.:mad:

Also, mice don't eat cheese. Give 'em that peanut butter and they love it. Till they realise it's poisoned, of course.

My semen just wasn't the mouse aphrodisiac I thought it would be.