The Dad Advice Thread

[WWWP]

Originally Posted by Plankton

She came to me for advise about getting married. She just started a career and has never really been on her own and wanted to wait. She's not ready to settle down and start a family, so my advise was to tell her hubby-to-be everything and don't hold back. Be 100% open and honest about everything otherwise those little doubts turn into regrets and loathing. She followed my advise and he kicked her out.

WOW well I’d count that as a bullet dodged. There are likely many underlying reasons she was feeling reservations in the first place - and it seems that she proved herself right. If dude can’t handle THIS difficult conversation I sure as hell wouldn’t trust him to handle future difficult conversations, like about bringing life into the world and what not.

You’ve raised a smart girl - more people should *want* to experience independence before settling down. I feel for her heart, what a horrible thing to receive in response to exposing your vulnerabilities, but with time she’s going to find at some level she knew all along this wasn’t it - she’s not going to settle for bull**** and that’s a Dad Win in my book.

[Plankton]

That was my take on it as well. I don't like seeing anyone hurting and if it's my girl it's a thousand times worse.

Thank you Steph.

How's the squeak?

[WWWP]

Opened it up and took a look, nothing noticeably worn or damaged. I’ve noticed after it warms up a bit the squeaking stops, so that leads me to believe it is a lubricant issue. Off to buy some bar soap for the first time since 1997.

[Lisnaholic]

Yes, that's one of the hardest things to do as a Dad, when you have to be cruel to be kind and see your child's dreams diminish because of something you have told them.
But yeah, WWWP is right: the way the guy responded shows that you and your daughter took the best approach. I hope she feels better about it soon.

Originally Posted by Trollheart

God damn it Lis! I thought that said "where women take off their clothes" and I was on the next plane to Cancun!

HaHa! That service is no doubt available in Cancun. Let me know if you want more details.

[Plankton]

Thank you Lisna.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Plankton

She came to me for advise about getting married. She just started a career and has never really been on her own and wanted to wait. She's not ready to settle down and start a family, so my advise was to tell her hubby-to-be everything and don't hold back. Be 100% open and honest about everything otherwise those little doubts turn into regrets and loathing. She followed my advise and he kicked her out.

That shows an impressive level of maturity and self-possession if nothing else. Most people probably would have just kept their head down and hoped for the best.

[ribbons]

Originally Posted by WWWP

WOW well I’d count that as a bullet dodged. There are likely many underlying reasons she was feeling reservations in the first place - and it seems that she proved herself right. If dude can’t handle THIS difficult conversation I sure as hell wouldn’t trust him to handle future difficult conversations, like about bringing life into the world and what not.

You’ve raised a smart girl - more people should *want* to experience independence before settling down. I feel for her heart, what a horrible thing to receive in response to exposing your vulnerabilities, but with time she’s going to find at some level she knew all along this wasn’t it - she’s not going to settle for bull**** and that’s a Dad Win in my book.

Very well stated, Steph - and I totally agree.

He threw her out? Very unreasonable and immature of him. Definitely agree that she dodged a bullet there, given his behavior.

Still, I gather she's heartbroken and I'm so sorry for the pain she is going through. Glad you are there to guide her, P, as always.

[Plankton]

Thank you Bat and ribs.

Yes, throwing her out was not the best response. He's a good kid and has an excellent job and all, but he's a bit of a hoverer and controlling. He put up a lot of money for the wedding venue and it's non-refundable, so that certainly went into his decision as well. Basically, my daughter didn't fit into his schedule, so he discarded her.

[Trollheart]

Originally Posted by Plankton

She came to me for advise about getting married. She just started a career and has never really been on her own and wanted to wait. She's not ready to settle down and start a family, so my advise was to tell her hubby-to-be everything and don't hold back. Be 100% open and honest about everything otherwise those little doubts turn into regrets and loathing. She followed my advise and he kicked her out.

Three words: **** that guy. He wasn't worthy of your daughter. Hannah will find the right guy (or girl); there's no rush - she's still pretty young isn't she?

Originally Posted by Plankton

That was my take on it as well. I don't like seeing anyone hurting and if it's my girl it's a thousand times worse.

Thank you Steph.

How's the squeak?

That's a bit personal isn't it?

[Marie Monday]

What a horrible, immature move of him after your daughter was brave and trusting enough to open up to him. I'm really sorry Plank.