So self-contently
 

http://i55.tinypic.com/2elbgn6.jpg

After surpressing the urge to post many random things that wouldn't fit well in other threads, I decided to start one of these. Not really sure what I'll post in it or if I'll do it sporadically or on the regular but right now, I'm kind of psyched.

Pic related, its my piano. Its also a guitar that I'm really bad at playing, a basket of CDs, a bullshit abstract canvas I did with a friend, a very 90s lamp, and my godfag mother's purple cross.
But the piano. The most beautiful thing in my house. I'm starting to love it again. I used to be really good but stopped for a few years once pueberty and an ignorant/pointlessly rebellious phase hit. Now I miss it like hell and I'm trying to get back into it.

:love: <3 everything
bye for now

that's really good that you found your passion again :) I really wonder if teen bad phase is really true. But I am guessing it is kind of since my counsins are out of their mine too.

You're so sweet and generic! You're probably a spambot!

Honestly, they're probably good for you. You shed your childhood pretty quickly and you're able to move on. Yeah you do some stupid things, and in the age of cellphone cameras, all the terrible haircuts you get to seem rebellious will be documented but you come out a better person with stories to tell.

Last night I had a dream about Babylon Rules by Clockcleaner and Incesticideby Nirvana. Recommendations make me happy and I try to follow most of them but these are special. They're from my subconcious.

I already have Babylon Rules on rotation at least once or twice a week but I haven't listened to Incesticide in at least a year. I remember hating it but all the albums I liked a year ago are dick, so hi me a year ago. Fuck your taste. Probably looking into this too much. Boredom is a bitch.

I didn't really think through the whole "starting a journal" thing too much and the only feedback I've gotten is from a spambot so I'm just gonna assume that everything I've written so far is kinda dick. I'm sorry. I'm not really sure what direction this journal is going to take. I promise you I won't do this but that's all I can say for sure.

I do have an idea though. 9 albums that have been condemned as terrible by one group or another but I'm still curious about...why not download them and see if they really suck that much? I haven't read Dante's Inferno because some person who is probably a juggalo stole it from the public library. :( Information on the 9 circles of hell will be obtained by wikipedia.

TUMOR DOWNLOADS THE 9 CIRCLES OF HELL
http://i53.tinypic.com/ev18c5.jpg
Pushing a rock that is twice my bodyweight up a mountain made of broken glass and congelated vomit, only to get to the top and have Satan laugh at me and push me all the way down the mountain again.
On my second try at pushing the rock up the hill, I give up and stop trying. I push the rock back down the hill and watch it hit the ground. I beat hell. I have won. I scream. "FUCK YOU SATAN. I'VE BEATEN YOU." I smile and giggle and congradulate myself. Satan starts laughing with me. This is the first voice other then my own that I've heard in such a long time. Its absolutely horrible. I stop laughing and look down. My legs are on fire.....my legs. Why my legs? I love my legs. I love running. I love walking. I love feeling my calf muscles move up and down. I loved the way they looked. Even in Hell, you are not above vanity. My head has been shaved and I haven't been able to look into a mirror and see my face for whats felt like a thousand years but I can look down and see my legs peeking out of the rags that I've been given to wear and feel a burst of happiness. Although the hair on my legs has grown long and icky, my legs were still one of the few things I clung to that made me happy. And now they are on fire. Burning. I try to roll around and put the fire out but I just end up rolling down the hill. I feel my flesh being singed as the shards of glass poke me. The fire moves up my body pretty quickly...my legs...my genitals....my torso....my arms....my neck....my face....Oh god. My face is on fire and I can't close my eyes so I feel them being singed but they don't lose their function and I have to watch as my body (oh god, my beautiful body) disintegrates into ashes.

http://mohebban.burjalsaheb.com/wp-c...09/06/hell.gif
I scream again, louder then I've ever screamed before. "I GIVE UP." I yell. "I SUBMIT. PLEASE. PLEASE, I LOVE YOU JESUS. PLEASE."
Satan laughs. Oh my god. This is amazing. I have a body again and I feel a wonderful rush of relief. I feel my legs. My calf muscles. My thighs. I'm beautiful again! I can't even begin to tell you how happy this makes me but I don't know where I am. I can't tell the difference between the world around me when my eyes are open or when my eyes are closed. I try to move around but there's something sharp that digs into my side.
What the fuck? Am I in the chokey?
I guess I'm in the chokey. I have to stay in one spot or I'll get poked by the spikes. I can't eat or drink anything. I can't even dispose of my own waste. I have to shit and piss right where I am and I have to feel it dripping down my leg. I have to smell it decay. I feel myself starving to death. Acid wearing away the lining in my stomach. Muscles atrophy for the sake of my vital organs. I can't bear to touch them anymore. I almost can't move, it hurts too much to use them. I don't to move.....don't want to be reminded that my body is rotting. I'm probably hideous now. I don't know.
My hearing starts to fade. I can't hear myself screaming anymore. I am deaf. Nothing but my thoughts to listen to.
You did this to yourself, the voice in my head says. Its your fault that you're in hell. You sinned so much. You were a horrible person.
I submit. If I could scream, I would be screaming. I submit completely. I am scum. I am worms. I am terrible and I deserve this. Please make it stop. Please please please please. I lose all sense of my identity. In my own mind, I am just shit. I've been completely brainwashed.
This is hell. Hell is submitting. Hell is giving up everything that makes you you.

AND I DID IT ALL FOR YOU, MUSICBANTER.
How I'm picking the Albums

• Album must have a rating of 3 or lower on Rate Your music
• Album must be something I am actually interested in listening to. If I just downloaded albums that are considered shit, I'd have a very boring list.
• Album must connect with one of the 9 cycles of hell in some cutesy way
• I must be able to find a torrent for it
• Album must be tolerable for at least 1 listen all the way through. If I can't finish it, I'll tell you. Every Circle of Hell will be something at least worth 40 minutes or so of my (kinda) concentration.

this should be interesting....

I am entertained. Your journal has my blessing.

I never really updated this thing because I was convinced I had to talk about music and I pumped myself up to do it and then never really got all that interested in finishing it.

**** that. I love music but I don't necessarily like writing about it because I feel like there isn't much I can say. I either like an album or I do not and I don't really know how to explain why or care to. I joined this forum because I thought that people who knew a lot about music were cooler than people who didn't and I thought I knew everything there was to know about it. I was right and wrong in that order but I do think I know a lot about music now. Of course I'm not done learning but I don't have much to say about it at the moment. I think I'll start updating this journal anyway.

I write a lot and I draw a lot and even though I usually end up giving my drawings to people or end up writing things too personal to share with people, I really ****ing like having a creative outlet. It makes me feel like I'm doing something beautiful and not just living to be alive. I haven't really hit my creative stride yet, meaning I haven't created anything that I consider excellent or the best I can do. I haven't even found a medium that I've been able to consistently stick to. It just makes me feel good to make something once in a while.

What I'm saying is, I might start writing in this thing.

I love the idea of you slagging off terrible albums. That's a hilarious journal premise.

Also, not picking up piano as a child is one of my greatest regrets.

I know where you're coming from on the music thing. That's why my own journal is so patchy with content. I can't sustain the level of commitment I began with.

Yeah, it's hard to maintain a daily or even weekly entry to your journal, and the problem is, like most forums, your thread tends to slip off page one if people see no new entries, and once it's gone it's unlikely to resurface. That's what happened to my first attempt at a journal.

Now that I'm at home all the time caring for my sister, I find I have a lot more free time and so make sure to update my journal at least every second day if I can. Luckily I have a very large music collection to choose from, most of which I have yet to listen to, so I'll be bothering people with my rants for some time to come!

Very interesting idea, the circles of Hell. Will you be including albums with Hell-themes or titles? I'm thinkiing "Heaven and Hell" by Sabs, "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC, maybe "Paradise lost" by Symphony X? Or is that oversimplifying it?

I can also sympathise with you re the piano. I tried to learn, but unlike you I was never good --- no left hand/right hand co-ordination: that's so hard! Plus I bought a synth, which meant it was far easier to play the chords and hold them down while picking out the melody, so I ended up trying to play synth, which I was also no good at. I can play it, but nothing anyone would recognise.

Anyway, cool journal. I'll be reading with interest. Feel free to drop over and comment on mine anytime.

Trollheart

Eh, I was planning on finding albums that had 0 stars on RYM that interested me anyway and maybe doing a couple at the end that were rated consistently 2.5-3 stars (so consistently mediocre) or consistently rated 5 stars (appealing to everybody but not necessarily to me). Using albums with hellish themes is a cool idea but I was gonna try to make them connect to the 9 levels of hell in Dante's Inferno (which I've never had the chance to read). :P
I have an online journal that has a weird heading I haven't bothered fixing and really inconsistent content but I do write, although admittedly inconsistently. Nobody reads it, I just update it when I have something that's really bothering me. I do it for myself. I also have one unfinished entry (unsubmitted and probably far too long) and two finished entries to the writing contest that Satchmo never published but one was a character writing where I write in the voice of a functionally retarded girl I know (and I gave it to her to turn in as an english journal, which she got a 95% on) and the other one was me writing as myself when I was 12 having an emotional breakdown and cutting so I could see why Satchmo would consider them too crappy to post but I stand by them.

The cycles of hell yet to be narrowed down or organized. These are some of the lowest rated albums on RYM. I went through the list and picked the ones that caught my attention. There's a lot of pop on here but I think I can pick a decently varied list. Bathory, Limp Bizkit, Yoko Ono, The Clash, 50 Cent, the Venegaboys, and Justin Bieber didn't have any connection in my mind before this but maybe there's something to this. Maybe if I actually do this project, it'll give me an epiphany.

My world 2.0-Justin Bieber (rated 1.07 from 421 ratings)

Rebirth-Lil' Wayne (rated 1.26 from 405 ratings)

Paris-Paris Hilton (rated 1.52 from 389 ratings)

Bang! Pow! Boom!-Insane Clown Posse (rated 1.60 from 127 ratings)

*NSYNC-*NSYNC (rated 1.64 from 324 ratings)

Wedding Album-John Lennon and Yoko Ono (rated 1.66 from 235 ratings)

The Party Album!-Venegaboys (rated 1.66 from 124 ratings)

Curtis-50 Cent(rated 1.68 from 539 ratings)

Results May Vary-Limp Bizkit (rated 1.70 from 1005 ratings)

Metal Magic-Pantera (rated 1.71 from 358 ratings)

Octagon-Bathory (rated 1.80 from 309 ratings)

Oops!...I Did it Again!-Britney Spears (rated 1.83 from 853 ratings)

...Baby One More Time-Britney Spears (rated 1.86 from 1015 ratings)

Shut up-Kelly Osbourne (rated 1.70 from 138 ratings)

Metro Station-Metro Station (rated 1.80 from 150 ratings)

Fall Out Boy's Evening Out with your Girlfriend-Fall Out Boy
(rated 1.88 from 284 ratings)

Speak-Lindsay Lohan (rated 1.89 from 150 ratings)

The Clash-Cut the Crap (rated 1.93 from 827 ratings)

Animal-Ke$ha (rated 1.94 from 531 ratings)

:laughing:

This is going to be amazing

And here's one you missed

The Black Eyed Peas - The E.N.D.

I am sad to say I own a copy of Evening Out With Your Girlfriend, and even at the height of my juvenile pop-punk FOB fandom, I thought it was utter wank.

Enjoy!

I suppose journals don't have to be just about music. But where music is concerned I agree that loads of words don't really mean much often. Maybe if someone has an interesting interpretation of the lyrics...but with the music itself if someone wants an essay on it the best thing to tell them is just to take a closer listen to the music themselves. To discover and understand music I think people have to do it for themselves, you don't pick everything up in one place you have to search and explore. That takes time of course, but as with everything there are no real short cuts if you really take something seriously.

I don't know if you were intending to do this, but given your totally excellent (and scary!) vision of Hell, were you thinking that maybe Satan casts you into a huge filing library (think the end of Raiders or the X-Files) where only the crappiest albums are kept, and your punishment is to review them all?

Sounds like Hell to me! ;)
:jailed:

Work without an iPod is a living hell.
Being alone with my thoughts at the scanning machine makes me uneasy. Hearing nothing but the papers shifting in and out and in and out and in and out like two middle aged robots trying to procreate.....
or some other such shit.
I really wish I had music right now. I need my job but I don't need the money. I haven't used any of the money I've made all summer. I need the stability. I need to be able to go in and listen to music every day while I do tedious secretarial chores and feel like things make sense. Like I'm doing something right.

Songs I wish I could listen to right now
Brown Sugar-Rolling Stones
Pavement Saw-Big Black
Manson's only Love Song-Manson
Pink Triangle-Weezer
Long Time Sunshine-Weezer
Grouch-Greenday
Earthworm-Flipper
Bed of Roses-Mindless Self Indulgence
El Dopa-Big Black
Bad Penny-Big Black
Money-Mindless Self Indulgence
Due-Mindless Self Indulgence
Till the World Ends (remix)-Britney Spears
Fuck him He's a DJ-Ke$ha
Animal-Ke$ha
When I'm with you-Best Coast

FUCK LOSING MY IPOD. FUCK IT. FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK IT.

BTW, thanks for the comments y'all. Makes me smile 'n shit.

I felt that way this morning when I left my Zune at home. I'm like how do people do this **** walking around in the world without music and left to just have your thoughts going in overdrive thinking about the most random **** ever. Then I realized maybe it's just me.

I'm blessed in that I actually do get to listen to my music while I conduct menial tasks. The days I forget my ipod seem 5 times longer.

I'm bored in school and I don't have anything to read so this is probably really retarded but I'm posting it anyway because I honestly don't give a shit. This song is ridiculous and I love it and whenever I hear it I feel Amish.

TUMOR interprets The Battle Hymn of the Republic

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord:

I watched God mastarbate I guess.

He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored;

God doesn't like poor people or old people. So he steps on them.

He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword:
His truth is marching on. [/I]

"I AM SPAARTAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then the chorous comes and it repeats over and over again. You could substitute glory glory hallelujah for anything, really. It doesn't matter.


Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
Glory, glory, hallelujah!
His truth is marching on.

I have seen Him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps,

Join the army. See the world (and deities).

They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps;

If you stay up all night making monuments then you fuck up basic grammar.

I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps:

Literacy is a plus but religeon and war are more important. Or something. I forget.

His day is marching on.

http://0.tqn.com/d/movies/1/G/n/j/O/300pubcc.jpg

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna zigazig ha

I have read a fiery gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:

You can't read but you can weld.

"As ye deal with my contemners, so with you my grace shall deal;

But what if your enemy is of the same religeon you are?

Let the Hero, born of woman, crush the serpent with his heel,

Call Planned Parenthood, then PETA.

Since God is marching on."

Don't Stop, Make it pop
DJ blow my speakers up
Tonight, I'mma fight
'Til we see the sun light
Tick tock, on the clock
But the party don't stop, no
Whoa whoa oho
Whoa whoa oho

In the beauty of the lilies Christ was born across the sea,

Yes he was. A perfect blonde, white, 6 pound, 8 inch lil' baby Jesus shined as a becon of hope in the land of the towel heads, the pagans, and the brown.

With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me:

And he had really great tits. Let me tell ya.

As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free,
While God is marching on.

Partyin', partyin, (yeah)
Partyin', partyin, (yeah)
Fun, fun, fun, fun
Lookin' forward to the weekend

He is coming like the glory of the morning on the wave,

Mmm. Jesus jizz.

He is Wisdom to the mighty, He is Succour to the brave,

God>philosophy

So the world shall be His footstool, and the soul of Time His slave,

God>physics

Our God is marching on.

Why you coming home five in the mone
Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?
Don't play me like a fool cause dat ain't cool
So what you need to do is let me smell yo dick

Nice one Tumor! Oh wait! What's that sound outside the window, that whuppa-whuppa-whuppa! sound? Are those black helicopters? Don't have no insignia? So how can you tell who operates ---- ah, I see.

UnAmerican activities? I'm not American. What's that, Mister CIA agent? EVERYONE's American? Or wants to be? But where would you put EVERYONE IN THE WORLD if they wanted to be American? You've only so much finite space available in North America, you know. Canada? Don't mention those what? I can't hear you: these guys keep beating me with their sticks!

Irish? Yes I'm Irish. What has that to do with any--- Freemason? Yes, as it happens I --- secret handshake? Yes I know the -- okay, it goes like THIS --- What's that? Sorry to have bothered me? Oh, I see, okay then. You have a nice day too. Say Hi to that nice Mister Obama if you see him. Sorry? It's a sad lookout for this proud land when a WHAT is president? A boon? A spoon? Sorry, I can't hear you over the helicopter blades. You'd WHAT his ass? Sorry? The WHAT will rise again? Sieg what?

Oh, they're gone. Nice chaps. Wouldn't want them dating my sister though.
Or my brother...

Trollheart regrets the attempted hijack of Tumor's journal. You have his assurances this will not happen again. Party at Trollheart's later...
(No, you're not invited. Why ever would you think you were?) ;)