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Like this one from Journey. Nice to hear them rockin' out. Well, sort of. This is “Girl can't help it”. |
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Pyromania --- Def Leppard --- 1983 (Vertigo) http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._Pyromania.jpg A real fun record, "Pyromania" was Def Leppard's third, and it broke them wide open. Coming at the height of the emergence of the NWOBHM, it hit the right chord, and the presence of producer extraordinaire Robert John "Mutt" Lange helped a lot too. He also co-writes much of the album, but it's really the infectious, honest enthusiasm of the album that scores for me. It just sounds like a bunch of guys having fun rockin'! Some great tracks: "Photograph" of course, "Rock of ages" and "Rock rock! (Til you drop"), all fine metal rockers, with an emphasis on the softer edge of the metal scene, but for me it's "Die hard the hunter" that's the standout, with its powerful guitars and helicopter noises, Joe Elliot screaming the lyric and making you believe he IS the guy in the song! Personally, I don't think Leppard ever equalled this. It was one of a kind, and though they went on to be very successful, "Pyromania" is one of those albums a band produces just the once, and can never hope to recapture that feeling. Like Bon Jovi's "Slippery when wet", sometimes the magic only happens the once. But when it does...! TRACKLISTING 1. Rock! Rock! (Til you drop) 2. Photograph 3. Stagefright 4. Too late for love 5. Die hard the hunter 6. Foolin' 7. Rock of ages 8. Comin' under fire 9. Action! Not words 10. Billy's got a gun |
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The worm rather likes this one, though it was the only major hit from Scottish band Danny Wilson. This is “Mary's prayer”. |
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While the sun shines outside and summer does its best to make a good showing this year, it's time to turn to somewhat darker, more sombre matters, and once again pay tribute and respect to those who have gone before us, figures in the music community who have died in June down the years. As ever, I'll be picking the most notable figures and the ones I know, so if any are left out it's not meant as any sort of a slur, but I'm unable to feature every single artiste, producer, writer, actor or anyone else associated with the music industry who died, as sadly and expectedly the list is very long, and growing every year. As always, my thanks to BITTER SUITE BAND: official website!, who have already catalogued the deaths for each month. Without their invaluable resource, I would have a much more difficult job every month. Sonny Boy Williamson (1914-1948) Often shown with the suffix “I”, to indicate he was the first to bear the name, he grew up to become one of the most talented and influential blues harmonica players in the world, and was the one to bring the instrument to the fore in blues music. His name was later usurped by Alex Miller, who wanted to cash in on the blues player's fame and name, and so there ended up being two Sonny Boy Williamsons, though not for long, as Miller only took the name in 1941, meaning he would only have to share it with the original for another seven years. The original Sonny Boy Williamson died as a result of a mugging in Chicago, June 1 1948. Bo Diddley (1928-2008) Hard to believe that one of the true legends in blues and rock and roll only passed away a few years ago. Ellas Otha Bates, better known as Bo Diddley, set the standard for all future guitar players and is still quoted as a major influence by some of the biggest stars in rock music today. He died of heart failure, June 2, four years ago. Georges Bizet (1838-1875) Classical composer best known for his famous opera “Carmen”, he was an accomplished pianist but chose not to pursue that path, instead composing music for operas which were ignored by the Parisian elite, the works of established artistes being hard to compete with. Even his most loved and recognised composition saw no success until after his rather premature death at the age of 37, and he died thinking “Carmen”, like all his other works, was a failure. He succumbed to two heart attacks, June 3 1875. Johann Strauss II (1825-1899) Perhaps the most famous of the Strauss musical dynasty, Johann was son to Johann Strauss I and uncle to Johann Strauss III. He is best known for the legendary waltz “The blue Danube” and for the opera “Die fledermaus” (the bat; literally, the flying mouse). He died from pneumonia in Vienna, June 3, just before the turn of the century. Andrew Gold (1951-2011) Although he scored two big hit singles in his own right, Andrew Gold was mostly a player, arranger, singer and writer for other famous musicians such as Linda Ronstadt and Cher. He also played or wrote for three of the Beatles, Don Henley, Brian Wilson and Trisha Yearwood. His two claims to fame were the hits “Never let her slip away” and “Lonely boy”. Andrew died of a heart attack, June 3 of last year. Ronnie Lane (1946-1997) Co-founder of The Small Faces and later Faces, with Steve Marriot, Ronnie worked with the likes of Rod Stewart, Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton and Jimmy Page. He was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in 1977 but continued to work for the next twenty years, eventually succumbing to pneumonia, presumably due to the MS, June 4 1997. Conway Twitty (1933-1993) One of the most famous and successful US country music stars, he held the record for the most country number one singles until 2006. He has been inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, the Rockabilly Hall of Fame and the Delta Music Hall of Fame. He died of an abdominal aortic aneurysm, June 5 1993. Mel Torme (1925-1999) One of the outstanding stars and regarded singers in jazz, Torme utilised the “scat” style of singing lyrics that basically often use no words, like “boo-bop-a-doo-dah” and so on, and popularised the art form. He also acted in many films and television shows, had his own TV show and was awarded the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award four months before he died from a second stroke, June 5 1999. Dee Dee Ramone (1951-2002) Born Douglas Colvin, Dee Dee was the founder and main songwriter, as well as bass player for the Ramones, who are widely accepted as the godfathers of punk rock. He quit the band in 1989, but continued to write songs for the Ramones until their breakup in 1996. He died of a heroin overdose, June 5 2002. Billy Preston (1946-2006) Soul singer and keyboard player who collaborated with a host of stars, including the Beatles, Ray Charles, Elton John, Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin and Johnny Cash to name but a few. He died of kidney failure following a transplant, June 5 2006. Marvin Isley (1953-2010) Bass player and youngest member of the famous Isley Brothers, who penned such soul/r&b classics as “This old heart of mine”, “That's the way love is” and “Shout”. Marvin died from complications with diabetes, June 6 2010. Ray Charles (1930-2004) One of the most famous and enduring jazz pianists of all time, Ray, like Stevie Wonder, created an incredibly successful music career despite being blind. Although he was not born that way, glaucoma took his eyesight by age seven, and yet he went on to become one of the most respected, innovative and loved music entertainers of his era, earning plaudits from the likes of BB King, Van Morrison, Willie Nelson. Johnny Mathis, Bonnie Raitt and Elton John, all of whom he played with in his life, and many more besides. His version of Hoagy Carmichael's “Georgia on my mind” was adopted as the state's official theme, and he was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame as well as being one of the first to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He was awarded the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1987, and after his death Billy Joel declared he believed Charles was more influential and important in music than even Elvis. Ray died of liver failure and hepatitis, June 10 2004. Graeme Kelling (1957-2004) Guitarist with pop/rock band Deacon Blue, Graeme played on their big hit albums, including “Raintown” and “When the world knows your name”, and can be heard on their most well-known hits, “Dignity”, “When will you (Make my telephone ring?”), “Real gone kid” and “Wages day”. He died of pancreatic cancer, weirdly enough the very same day as the mighty Ray Charles, June 10 2004. Benny Goodman (1909-1986) One of the most instantly recognisable names in Big Band and Swing, even to those of us who have no interest in the genre, Goodman was called “The King of Swing” and led the way for the dominance and popularity of Big Band and Swing music in the thirties and forties. He played with other legends including Glenn Miller and Tommy Dorsey, and bucked the American trend for racial segregation by hiring a black musician to play in his band. He died of heart failure, June 13 1986. Henry Mancini (1924-1994) One of the most beloved composers of film soundtracks, Mancini will forever be remembered for his theme to the “Pink Panther” movies (and the cartoon series!) as well as the “Peter Gunn theme”. He composed music for over forty movies, and won twenty Grammys, including the Lifetime Achievement Award, after his death. He also composed “Baby elephant walk”, which is used in some baseball games. Mancini died of pancreatic cancer, June 14 1994. Rory Gallagher (1948-1995) Without question one of the most influential guitarists of his era, Rory was known for his honest and simple blues style, utilising just guitar, bass and drums in his band, though occasionally adding piano and sometimes playing harmonica himself. He was an influence on a huge number of today's guitar players, and released over a dozen solo albums during his career from the early seventies up to his death in the mid-nineties. He also recorded a number of albums with his first band, Taste, and a clutch of highly-regarded live albums. Rory had a liver transplant operation in 1995, but later that year suffered complications which led to a chest infection and his untimely death on June 13 1995. Ella Fitzgerald (1917-1996) One of the true voices that only come once in a lifetime, Ella Fitzgerald was feted by her peers, loved by her fans and adored by her critics. She was a huge figure in the world of swing and jazz, and played with all the greats in the genre, winning thirteen Grammys, including the Lifetime Achievement Award, a Kennedy Center Award and an American Music Award, and earning honourary doctorates, even having an award named after her. Suffering from diabetes and circulatory problems, Ella had to have both her legs amputated below the knee in 1993, and died three years later of complications from her diabetes, June 15 1996. Screaming Lord Sutch (1940-1999) Perhaps the first example of style triumphing over substance, David Sutch, who took the epitheth “Screaming Lord” was a rock singer who couldn't really sing, but whose horror-themed stageshow garnered fans and appealed to the imagination of rockers and heavy metal fans, and he was doing this long before Alice Cooper would popularise it. He is best known though for his political activities, in particular his leadership of the Monster Raving Loony Party, which though it never threatened to gain any appreciable support, nevertheless garnered hundreds of votes in most by-elections. Sutch suffered from manic depression, and hanged himself on June 16 1999. Clarence Clemmons (1942-2011) One of the most important members of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band, Clarence's iconic saxaphone breaks can be heard on such hits as “Born to run”, “Cadillac ranch” and of course “Jungleland”. Bruce knew him as “The Big Man”, and his passing hit the Boss very hard, as Clemmons had been with him from the very start. Clarence died of complications following a stroke, June 18 of last year. Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov (1844-1908) Russian composer best known for his “Scheherezade” suite and his use of legend and lore in his compositions, he worked alongside other greats like Mussorgsky and Borodin to create a specifically Russian style of classical music that didn't rely on previous, mostly European-influenced artistes and music. He also wrote fifteen operas, many of which were only completed when the death of Tchaikovsky encouraged him out of his self-imposed retirement in 1893. He died from accelerated neurasthenia and accelerated angina, June 21 (Midsummer's Day) 1908. John Lee Hooker (1917-2001) A huge figure in blues music, Hooker's influence is still cited, and his music still played today. He was one of the main figures in the Memphis blues scene, and developed his own style of “talking blues”, which was always identified with him. In later life he played with the greats such as Van Morrison, Bonnie Raitt, Pete Townsend and Carlos Santana. He passed away peacefully in his sleep, June 21 2001. Judy Garland (1922-1969) Best known of course for her role as Dorothy in the perennial Christmas favourite film “The wizard of Oz”, and its theme, “Somewhere over the rainbow”, Judy Garland was a vaudeville performer before becoming a teenage actress, and went on to star or co-star in dozens of films, later returning to the stage in 1952 for a triumphant rebirth. But financial and substance abuse problems dogged her life, and she accidentally overdosed on June 22 1969. Fred Astaire (1899-1987) The man about whom it is anecdotally reported it was said: “Can't sing, can't act, can dance a little” would go on to become the greatest film star in dance and musicals the world has ever seen, leading Gene Kelly to declare “the future of dance on film began with Fred Astaire”. He became famous for his dance routines, usually with partner Ginger Rogers, and acted and danced (and sang) in more than thirty musical movies, as well as, later, other more “serious” films, such as “The towering inferno” and “The man in the Santa Claus suit”, even guesting in an episode of the original TV series “Battlestar Galactica”! Astaire died of pneumonia, June 22 1987. Jackie Gleason (1917-1987) Famous for his role in the TV series “The Honeymooners” and its later effect on just about every situation comedy show since, Gleason also sponsored a series of smooth romantic music, which resulted in three albums that all went to number one, even though he had no musical input to them. He also starred in movies, one of the most iconic of which was the “Smokey and the bandit” trilogy, with Burt Reynolds. He died of cancer, June 24 1987. John Entwhistle (1944-2002) Bassist with the Who, John pioneered the use of the bass guitar as an instrument in its own right, not just a backup, and his solo on “My generation” is said to be the first instance of a bass solo on a rock record. His playing influenced a whole new generation of bassists, including Lemmy from Motorhead and Geezer Butler from Black Sabbath. John died June 27 2002 following a heart attack brought on as a result of his cocaine addiction. Rosemary Clooney (1928-2002) Pop and jazz singer as well as actress, Clooney starred in many films, including the one which gave birth to one of the most famous songs of all time, Bing Crosby's “White Christmas”. She was aunt to George Clooney, who was a pallbearer at her funeral. She died June 29 2002 after a battle with lung cancer. |
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If ever anyone jumped on the popularity of David Bowie and used it to make himself a hit single, it's this one. |
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Brood --- My Friend the Chocolate Cake --- 1994 (Liberation Music)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...Broodalbum.jpg I've said it before and, guess what? I'll say it again: sometimes the only thing to attract me to a new artiste is the name, either of the band or the album, or sometimes both. This is one I just came across yesterday, and had to check out. With a name like “My Friend the Chocolate Cake” it just had to be worth delving into! Turns out it's not such an obscure album after all, winning the Australian Recording Industry Association (ARIA) Award for Best Contemporary Album, 1995. So it's well known and appreciated, at least Down Under. But who, or what, is or are My Friend the Chocolate Cake? Well, it seems they're a duo, based out of Melbourne, consisting of David Bridie and Helen Mountfort. Both were part of another Australian combo called Not Drowning, Waving, but started this as a side-project, continuing on after the original band had split. Their music is characterised by mostly acoustic pop with folk tinges, as well as elements of chamber music and other influences like Celtic traditional sounds. Bridie is the main songwriter, takes the lead vocal and also plays the piano, while Mountfort is a cellist, and leads the in situ string ensemble that always plays on their albums. To date, the band have released seven studio albums, their last being 2011's “Fiasco”. This is their second album, and was re-released, along with most of their catalogue, in 2005. It starts, quite beautifully, on slow cello and strings with soft choral vocals as “Dance (You stupid monster to my soft song)”, already a candidate for strange track title of the album, flows out of the speakers and into your ears. Some lovely piano joins in and it's clear this is going to be an instrumental, as it proves to be. And a short track to open, just over two and a half minutes. Ambient folk music? You'd not be too far wrong, to be honest. In contrast, “I've got a plan” recalls the best of Deacon Blue, with a laidback poppy number, a soft drumbeat carrying the piano and a little further in, viola, cello and violins, David Bridie's voice calming and soothing but with a slightly ragged edge that gives you the idea he can let loose when he wants to. A lot of emotion in this, and then we're into “Throwing it away”, with a little more punch but still quite poppy. It's mostly the piano of Bridie, as well as his almost hypnotic voice that pulls at your attention throughout this album, backed up by Helen Mountfort and her sometimes mournful, sometimes energetic cello, and the rest of the string section. Some great upbeat fiddle or violin on this track, and it's the most uptempo on the album so far. “Greenkeeping” brings in some gentle mandolin to join Mountfort's cello, very pastoral, and another instrumental, with some very celtic overtones, then Bridie is back, and very welcome at that, for “The old years”, where Mountfort's soulful cello melds perfectly with his tired, wounded voice on a lovely little bitter ballad. The only cover on the album, Magazine's “Song from under the floorboards” is a lot more uptempo, with almost Bowie-style vocals from David and a jumping little beat, the song more piano than cello-driven, though Helen certainly plays her part. There's a slight sense of Men at Work about the song too, then it's back to very celtic beats for the very boppy “Jimmy Stynes”, great reels and jigs with some fine mandolin and ukulele (yeah, that's what I said!) taking us into the longest track on the album, at just over five minutes, “Slow way to go down”. This slows everything down to a crawl, and is the closest to a dark song on the album. Trudging along at the sort of pace that usually accompanies funeral marches, it's almost Nick Cave-like in its use of dark cello and slow, measured drumming, Bridie's vocal sharp and thick, with some heavy, almost discordant piano lending to the feeling of unease in this track. It's the more unsettling as it's so out of step with the rest of the album, which mostly seems to be going for the cheery, breezy, happy angle, and for something like this to slap you upside the head out of left field: well, it's a shock. It's followed by what can only be called a virtuoso performance by Helen Mountfort on the cello, and with some ghostly vocals from the lady too, though more in a backing style than lead, even though there are in fact no lead vocals. She's really using her voice here as another instrument, you feel, and what she sings is not anywhere near as important as how she sings. Halfway through the acoustic guitar of Andrew Richardson joins in, and “Bottom and the Rustics”, essentially an instrumental, takes on a more celtic and then even heavier edge as the song moves towards its end. “Rosetta” has a much more lively violin opening it, and Bridie is back to sing a simple love song that licks along nicely, but ultimately comes across as something of a throwaway; MFTCC are much better than this. A point they quickly prove, if any doubted it, with the heartbreakingly beautiful piano ballad “The gossip”, which in places reminds me of the best of Roger Waters. Helen's sumptuous cello again works its magic, as do the violins and violas in the ensemble, all creating a backdrop for Bridie's soft but gently angry vocal, wistful and bitter. I'd have to say this is the standout, and considering how excellent this album is, that's praise indeed, and not a decision taken lightly. The title track is another instrumental love affair between Helen and David, gentle piano meshing almost seamlessly with flowing cello, no percussion to speak of, no other instruments, and no words needed. The musical marriage is carried through into the next track, the oddly-titled “Yandoit”, where some tin whistle from Andrew Carswell adds a very celtic feel to the music before it suddenly kicks up a gear with some organic vocals from Bridie, more sounds than words, though I think I hear the word “Why” in there; again, what's sung is not important. It's the sounds that you listen to, not the lyric, if indeed there is one. This takes us into the almost bluegrass-tinged “The pramsitters”, which ups the tempo a lot and gives your feet something to tap to, until Bridie's slow gentle piano takes it all right back for “Aberystwyth”, some more lovely lonely tin whistle from Carswell creating the scenery against which Bridie sings his song of longing for home in the Welsh highlands. And ukulele, of all things, carries “The red wallpaper”, a short instrumental and showcase for Greg Pattern, somewhat in the vein of Waits' weirder and more organic tunes, before heavy cello and violin introduce “John Cain Avenue”, with Bridie's strong piano adding its muscle, a lovely little semi-ballad to take us to the closer, simply entitled “Low”, and a showpiece for Bridie on the piano, with Michael Barker adding some effective but not overly intrusive percussion, and the vocal from David so low as to be almost inaudible most of the time. Low-key ending indeed. I would compare the style of this band somewhat, though certainly not entirely, to Prefab Sprout at their less energetic and, as already mentioned, Deacon Blue, mostly in their quieter moments. But it would be unfair to lump My Friend the Chocolate Cake in with those, or any other bands, and just write them off as another pop band, for they are certainly not. With strong elements of classical, ambient, folk and celtic influences, this band is something very unique and special, and I'm very impressed. I've always had a liking for chocolate cake, but now I have even more reason to. TRACKLISTING 1. Dance (You stupid monster to my soft song) 2. I've got a plan 3. Throwing it away 4. Greenkeeping 5. The old years 6. Song from under the floorboards 7. Jimmy Stynes 8. Slow way to go down 9. Bottom and the Rustics 10. Rosetta 11. The gossip 12. Brood 13. Yandoit 14. The pramsitters 15. Aberystwyth 16. The red wallpaper 17. John Cain Avenue 18. Low |
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Popularised by Rod Stewart, the worm still prefers this version of “Some guys have all the luck” by Robert Palmer. |
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Once again we return to the what is often the best advice a musician can get. It's all very fine to be firing off guitar solos or running through complicated keyboard hi-jinks, or to write Steinmanesque lyrics that try to explain the human condition or prove/disprove the existence of God, or to compose a song that's in seven or more parts, each linking to the others in a concept, or even to explore interesting vocal techniques. Each has its own place, and can be fine if used correctly. But it can often be harder, and indeed preferable, just to let the music flow and not worry too much about how complicated it is, or write very sparse lyrics, or even none at all. Sometimes, it's best to keep it simple. Most bands know this, at least, those who have done well and are appreciated by their fans. U2 are certainly known for fast, heavy rock songs or songs straining at the seams with political, spiritual or historical lyrics, but sometimes even they knew that just to tone it all down and reduce a song to its basics was the thing to do. October --- U2 --- 1981 Music by U2, Lyrics by Bono http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...U2_October.jpg The title track from their second album, “October” is a short and very simple little song. It features the Edge on piano, and it's mostly his song really, as Bono only sings a short verse over the music. The lyric is sparse and stark, and could probably be interpreted many ways, but it's certainly a lonely song, a dark and troubling song, and all this conveyed in just over two minutes of piano and voice. Amazing. That's how to do it. |
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Man, the worm remembers this one! Haven't heard this for so long! This is the Kane Gang, with “Motortown”. |
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As the seventies gave way to the new decade, Kool and the Gang, although around since the late sixties, were just about to begin an assault on the charts which would last for six years, peaking in 1985 with “Cherish”, which would hit almost the top spot both sides of the Atlantic. This is one of their slower, funkier songs, which did really well for them too. This is “Too hot”. |
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A little late with the cheese this week, but as long as we get there... I promised to stay away from the eighties this time around (even though it's such a cheesy decade!) and try to go for something different, and I'm nothing if not a girl of my word. So without further ado, I bid you welcome to the cheese of the nineteen nineties! Now personally, I've always hated this artiste. I think she overdoes singing in a way which has become copied and almost generic now for new singers, where every word has to be stretched out and stupid phrases like “Whoa-oh-oh-oh-ahhh” get stuck on the end of every sentence, and often extend the end of the song by several seconds. Talk about dragging it out! Yeah, I can only be talking about one person, can't I? http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...Artwork%29.jpg Without you (Mariah Carey) 1994 This is one I will never forgive her for! Although it was not actually his song, “Without you” became a standard for, and identified with, the late Harry Nilsson. His quiet, gentle vocal over simple piano was well known to all of us who bought those compilation love songs albums, and this was always one of my favourite ballads. Carey decided to gee it up, making it more a showcase for her voice than a true representation of the song. She also chose to have it released just after Nilsson's death, a move I consider both cynical and immoral: talk about cashing in on the passing of an artiste! I also hate her version, much more so the fact that these days it is growing to be seen as the definitive version, to the point where kids nowadays will tell you it's her song, and will stare blankly if you mention the name of Harry Nilsson. She destroyed this song for me, and with her little gospel chorus she injected it with a cheese element the original could never be accused of. She made a mockery of one of the most beautiful love songs ever, and what is worse, achieved her first (though sadly not her only) number one with it. The only one to ruin a song more comprehensively by taking a gentle, simple song and trying to make a cinematic production out of it, taking all the emotion and heart from it and replacing it with pure bombast and ego was Whitney Houston, but that's a tale for another day. |
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Bitta reggae for yaz now, boys! Yeah, the worm knows he needs to stick to his dayjob... |
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A hit single for the Queen guitarist, this was also used in one of the advertisements for a major motor company. This is Brian May, with “Driven by you”. |
Time to return to the world of long, complicated, involved songs, where an eight minute composition is considered a short one! Yes, all the songs here are considered
http://www.trollheart.com/epics.jpg Here's a rather incredible one to start us off, from Kate Bush, a track that runs for a total of forty-two minutes! Think that's the longest we've ever had here! This is “A sky of honey”. Spoiler for Click here for video:
Here's one from the Alan Parsons Project, title track to the album “The turn of a friendly card”, and arranged as a suite under that name, it clocks in at 16 minutes 28 seconds. Spoiler for Click here for video:
One of my favourite progressive metal bands, this is Threshold, with a track that comes in at 11 minutes 15 seconds, this is “Narcissus”. Spoiler for Click here for video:
Just over the ten-minute mark by four seconds, this is Kansas, with “Song for America”. Spoiler for Click here for video:
And to finish with, here's one from Black Sabbath's self-titled debut. With a length of 10 minutes 35 seconds, this is “Warning”. Spoiler for Click here for video:
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Chris de Burgh, rocking out you say? Yeah, well, he does, or did, on occasion. Well, for him, that is. This is “High on emotion”. |
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"XXX = YAWN" Warning: I've been composing this review in my head for about the last week, and let me just say right from the off that I am NOT happy with this album. It's going to be a long review, and blood will be spilled! So strap yourself in and expect a bumpy ride, cos it's gonna get ugly! XXX --- Asia --- 2012 (Frontiers) http://originalasia.com/wp-content/u...97_481x481.jpg Those who know me will know I'm a huge fan of Asia. Although I didn't think their debut was that great, I did like it and the followup “Alpha” really spoke to me. I do find myself mostly falling into the John Payne camp however, which might possibly explain my disappointment with this album, except that I really loved “Phoenix”, which was John Wetton's return after nearly twenty years, and I thought “Omega” was all right, though no triumph. I also, as I say, liked the early albums with Wetton. Up to now though, I've never bought an Asia album I didn't like, or come to like pretty quickly. Even the dubious “Silent nation”, which I took some time getting into, is now firmly ensconced as a proper Asia album with me. But this is a massive let down. I know what it is, and I will be going into boringly detailed explanation and opinion through this review, but it's something I never expected to say of an Asia album. The main thing that really burns me about this, Asia's fifteenth overall, third with the reformed original lineup and the album that marks thirty years of Asia, hence the title, is that it is, in a word, boring. In another word, flat. In another word, uninteresting. Stale. Unadventurous. Boring. Oh wait, I said that already, didn't I? Well, sadly it's worth repeating. Asia's fifteenth album, XXX, is boring. Much of the blame has to lie squarely with Wetton's vocals, which sound dull, uninspired, disinterested. To be fair, it opens well, with some beautiful piano from Geoff Downes and some cello I think, and you really believe the album is starting off with a ballad, which would not be a bad way to start, but would I think have been a first for this band. However, one minute in it kicks up and becomes a boppy little rocker. Now, I have no problem with this per se. For the first time we hear Downes' famed and instantly recognisable trumpeting keyboards, and for a moment you think yeah, here we go. And to be fair, as an opener it's not too bad of a song, but I do have an issue with the title. When I see a track called “Tomorrow the world” I think this is to do with intention: today London, tomorrow the world, that sort of thing. But it's actually a promise that tomorrow the world will be better, and although that's a laudable sentiment I think they should just have called this “Tomorrow”. Would have been punchier, looked to the future, made a better impact in my opinion. But these are small concerns, as are some of the lyrics: Wrap (the world) up and throw it like a ball? What the hell is that meant to mean? Still, it's an upbeat, uptempo rocker to start, even if it's not as powerful as I would have liked. It does however end very badly, looking at first like it's going to end on organ, then this switches to a rolling drum outro, but instead of finishing powerfully it just sort of fades out, which annoyed me. But however, on we go, and at least Wetton is in decent voice for this track, and the next one, “Bury me in willow”. Reading the title I assumed that Willow was a place, but no, it seems the idea is bury me in a coffin made of willow wood. I'm no expert, but I think coffins are made from pine? However, it's got some decent ideas in it, a sort of anti-war sentiment --- ”Give me no standards or eulogy/No red white and blue/ No sceptre or no cloak” --- but again it's a little limp, a little weak, though Downe's keyboards carry the song, as they often do. So we're not too bad so far. So far. Then comes “No religion”. Now, the first thing to hit you about this is the oh-so-familiar guitar riff. Yeah, it's BOC's “Don't fear the Reaper”, shamelessly ripped off, note for note. Oh dear. This is where you start to hear Wetton's voice start to sound a little less sure, a little weaker and less committed, as if he's losing interest. It's paradoxically the heaviest track on the album, and one where he should really be letting it rip, but no, there's no heart or soul there. No religion? No interest, more like. And it doesn't get any better as the album wends what becomes its weary way on, as each song becomes more a trial to listen to, and my own interest begins to wane. “Faithful” sounds, to me, a little too close to “The last time” off “Aura” for comfort, and as Wetton sings ”I was hardwired to forget” I begin to wish I was! This is lovesong drivel of the worst kind, the sort of thing that got Asia pegged as “a bunch of old men singing to their girlfriends”, even back in the eighties! The lyric is awful: ”Wherever you may go/ You'll always know/ Faithful I'll be to you” Oh, again I say, dear. It's like mid-eighties Asia but without the class and the power. It just sounds desperate, almost as if they're trying to write a hit single one more time. Doubt this will manage it. Even Steve Howe's guitar playing is subsumed in the album generally, although he does let loose with a nice solo here that helps to rescue the song a little, but even that can't prevent this from sliding down a deep hole from which it (hopefully) will never emerge. Awful. And as I say, unfortunately, it does not get any better, with Supertramp style piano opening “I know how you feel”. It's not the worst song, and I wonder how Payne would have handled it, but Wetton just doesn't come across as invested in it at all, and if he really did know how we feel, he would have put in a better performance on this album, while maybe writing some better songs into the bargain. Again there's a decent little Howe solo, but it's very restrained and almost lost in the backing vocals and Downes' keys. “Face on the bridge” isn't bad, to be completely fair, nice keyboard intro, good beat, and Wetton's singing is not too bad, but still way below par. It's very derivative though, like most of the songs on this album: I can definitely hear echoes of “Astra” and “Alpha” material in it. For what it is though, it's probably the last decent track on the album, which is not really a compliment, but a sad statement of fact. This is, as the man says, where things get ugly, where the precariously-balanced house of cards shudders and threatens to fall. I don't know what “Al gatto nero” means, and have no idea what the HELL it's about. Wetton uses a mixture of English and either Spanish or Italian language in the lyric, and although I can't quite place it, the melody of the song comes across as very, very familiar, and I'm sure I've heard it in a previous Asia track. It is, however, notable for one thing: it will go down in my own personal history as THE most annoying Asia track EVER. I bloody hate it! It just grates on me, mostly perhaps because I don't know what it's about, but it seems to be very smug and self-serving. To understand what I mean you'll have to just bite the bullet and listen to it. Oh yeah, and just to add insult to injury they throw in the ending to “Here comes the feeling” off the debut album. But even at that, it's not the worst track on the album. Oh no. If a band writes a song called “Judas”, you can be reasonably sure it's going to be about betrayal of some sort, treachery, backstabbing, that sort of thing, and that it should be sung in an angry voice. Whether that anger is a growl or rage or a mutter of cold reproach is a matter of style, but what you don't expect is for the lyric to be rattled off with no heart, no emotion, no feeling and no impact whatever. When John Wetton sings ”You put a knife in me” he sounds about as concerned about it as what he's going to have for his breakfast. He might as well be reproving someone for turning up late, or spilling his drink. There's not one iota of anger in his voice, it's completely matter-of-fact, flat and bored. Christ, if he's not interested in the song, how am I expected to be? It's the most one-dimensional Judas I have ever heard about, and it makes zero impact on me. A song without emotion really isn't a song at all, at least a rock song. This is terrible. Though it rocks in melody the vocal drags it down to the very bottom of the barrel; you can't believe in it, so you can't enjoy it. Well, I can't. The only good thing about “Judas” is that it heralds the arrival of the final track. Yeah, that's right: thirty years in the business is marked by an album with NINE tracks. What a rip-off! And none of them are even any way particularly long. Then again, with quality this low it's probably a blessing there are so few tracks. Where is the heart and emotion that went into tracks like “Heroine” and “Orchard of mines” on “Phoenix”? No three-part compositions like on that album, nothing to stand out, unless it's how bad the material is. Well, the closer is called “Ghost of a chance”, and that's fairly appropriate, as that's how much it's likely I'll ever grow to tolerate, never mind like, this album. There is some lovely acoustic guitar from Steve Howe and some nice strings, and they do try to kick it up for one final last-gasp effort. It's not bad, but it'll take more than this to rescue such a poor album. It's possibly telling that when you try to access their website (ASIA | XXX) it takes an absolute age to come up. Perhaps Asia are tired, perhaps they should think about calling it a day. Thirty years is a long time, even if this particular lineup hasn't been together all that time. If they can't find the creative spark that lit albums like “Alpha”, “Aura” and even “Phoenix”, they really shouldn't be foisting this substandard trash on their longtime fans, and giving ammunition to those who say Asia are a boring, tired band. If it's too much to mark your thirtieth year with a standout, or at least impressive album --- hell, I'd have accepted adequate! --- then I have to wonder if Asia have any business putting out new albums and expecting people like me to pay for them. That said, I have no doubt the album will sell well, and the upcoming concerts will no doubt be sold out, and perhaps the songs will translate better live. But I don't have the money for concert tickets, even if they were playing Ireland, which I don't know, and I should be able to get the same basic feeling from their recorded output. On the strength of this, I wouldn't go see them if the tickets were free. Well, of course I would, as they have produced excellent music down the years. But I really feel they've let me down this time, and at a time when I would have wanted, and expected, them to reaffirm their love of music and their talent, and their commitment to the people who have, after all, put them where they are today. To paraphrase Meat Loaf, this album is a lemon and I want my money back! I will, however, leave the last word to Fry. TRACKLISTING 1. Tomorrow the world 2. Bury me in willow 3. No religion 4. Faithful 5. I know how you feel 6. Face on the bridge 7. Al gatto nero 8. Judas 9. Ghost of a chance |
An excellent and unfortunately spot-on review of XXX compadre Trollheart. I couldn't have done it better myself had I been in Rage Mode on RYM. :D
It's actually quite baffling when you think about it, especially in light of the high quality associated albums have been since last year (Yes's Fly From Here, Squackett's self-titled, etc.). My guess is that Wetton is holding everyone else back at the moment. Maybe they should pull a Queensryche on him and bring Payne back all official-like. :laughing: |
Thanks Ant, and thanks for taking the time to comment.
Thing is, Payne is still around isn't he, touring with "John Payne's Asia". But there must be some contractual guff that precludes him from recording under that name. Damn pity, as it could be a hell of an album! I'm so pissed off with Wetton, and I lay the blame for XXX mostly at his doorstep. Downes is his usual excellent self, no real complaints there other than that he sort of takes over, Howe is there when he wants to be but conspicuous by his absence too many times, and Palmer is, well, Palmer. But Wetton is the focal point of the band, and it stands or falls on his personality and charisma, or lack of, and his own belief in these songs, which after all he helped write. So I don't think there's anywhere for him to hide. Such a disappointment. Won't stop me buying the next one, if there is one, of course, but it's tough to see your gods have feet of clay in the end... |
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One of those old disco semi-classics you often hear about, but don't hear too often, this is Andy Kim, from 1974, with “Rock me gently”. |
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Fears are growing for the safety of Stacey-Lynn McPherson, 24, last seen talking to a shifty-looking male near a convenience store, three hours before she was due to clock in for work at her office. Ms. McPherson has just returned from holiday in the Caribbean, where it is rumoured she may have been involved with a local drug lord. Reports of her fleeing the country may or may not be relevant to her disappearance. Ms. McPherson is described as slim, about five foot five, with blonde hair which when she was last seen was tied in a ponytail. Unreliable witness testimony also describe her as having, quote, "a wozza pair of jugs". This information should be treated with some scepticism, as what consititutes a wozza pair of jugs varies widely from person to person. No ransom demands have yet been received, though her friends are said to be "concerned". Anyone with any information should contact Trollheart@gmail.com. McPherson is not known to have any criminal record, although she is said to have questionable taste in music, which could very well turn out to be a motive for her capture. If she has been captured. We're not saying she has been, you understand. We of course know nothing about this, and any further enquiries should be directed to our attornies. Trollheart had this to say: "It's that ****ing bastard Urban, isnt it? I KNEW he hated that review of that bloody Ultrasound album he gave me! Well my review stands, Urban! It was ****E! You'd better not hurt her: she's MY bitch!" Trollheart later retracted this statement, citing "unbelievable pressure due to the loss of a valuable employee", and confirmed that she does, indeed, have a wozza pair of jugs. We will keep you updated as to any developments. Now, here's a worm who thinks he knows about music. (No, Trollheart: no-one's going to kidnap a WORM! Get real!) |
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Yes, we're all devastated at the news of Stacey-Lynn's disappearance. Hope she'll be found safe and sound... what's that? Does the worm have any DIRT on her? HOW DARE YOU SIR! She is a COLLEAGUE, and the worm would NEVER... Meet you down the bottom of the garden, bring your dictaphone. How much are we talking.... What? Yes the worm believes she does have a wozza pair of ... What? No, nothing boss, just introducing the track! Hmm? No, no, purely coincidental. Remember, bottom of the garden. Five minutes... |
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When I originally started doing this section, I meant it to concentrate on mostly covers which were seen as odd, or unusual, or unexpected. Over the months, this has not always been the case: sometimes the covers are just interesting, but nothing you might not expect. This however takes strange bedfellows to new levels, and was certainly a strange choice for a cover version. Originally recorded by Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes, “Don't leave me this way” was a low-key, downbeat plea to his woman not to desert him after all they had been through. There was a lot of what you would probably have to term quiet desperation in the lyric, but when Jimmy Somerville left Bronski Beat off the back of a pretty successful chart career and formed The Communards, they had a massive hit, a number one in fact with a hi-energy, disco dance version of the same song. It probably made people (like me) who knew the original kick doors and fume, but it was massively popular, and in all likelihood led to a small resurgence in interest in the work of Melvin, as four years later Simply Red would record another of his classics and take that to number one also. Harold himself, though successful with the Blue Notes, was less so than lead singer Teddy Pendergrass, who went on to do very well in soul and pop circles, but both their success is eclipsed by the cover versions of their songs, and anyone under the age of twenty now will always associate “Don't leave me this way” with disco dancing, punching the air, waiting for the big lead-in when everyone went “Ohhhhhhhhh.... baby!” and, sadly, the Communards. Here as ever as the two versions side by side, for you to judge the differences in styles. |
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Right, well, let's just all try to put this unpleasantness to one side and get on with our jobs, shall we? We all pray for Stacey-Lynn's safe return --- though if the worst should happen, well, the worm could handle “Random Track of the Day” --- sorry, sorry! The pressure, you understand. Worm has something in his eye... 'scuse... |
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This time out I'd like to concentrate on one particular aspect of Waits' writing, that of the slower, softer songs. He has them, to be sure. Much of his material is written with a hard, gritty edge, but occasionally he can be gentle, introspective, thoughtful in a way that may not always characterise his songs. The people he writes about are almost always struggling through their lives, or career, or some situation they have to get through. They might be dealing with an addiction, a loss, a broken love affair, but they usually have some sort of problem they have to get through, and it doesn't always work out. Waits' characters are not heroes, or superhumans. They're not captains of industry or sportsmen, and they're not politicians or leaders. They're invariably ordinary Joes and Janes, pushing against the obstacles in their lives, trying to climb over often insurmountable barriers, keeping their heads down and facing into the cold wind, hoping it won't blow them over. They are, in many ways, reflections of you and me. Though at heart cynical in his writing, Waits can be tender too, though even then the sharp bitterness that permeates most of his songs tends to leak through. It's almost as if he doesn't want to be happy, or at least, doesn't want his characters to be happy. It's like he feels happiness is an illusion, and must be recognised and denied for what it is, stamped out before it has a chance to raise expectations that can only topple and fall in the end. Better to be miserable, and know you're miserable, than think you're happy. Even the brightest silver lining can be obscured by a cloud, and life ain't a bowl of cherries: it's hard, it's unfair, it's tough, and then you die. http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...htrombones.jpg Soldier's things, from “Swordfishtrombones”, 1983 (Island) Probably one of the most heartbreaking things the widow of a serviceman has to go through is finally getting rid of his personal possessions, and here Waits outlines a garage sale, where all the components that went to make up this soldier's career are put up for sale. On one level, it's dirty, grubby, distasteful as everything is examined and critiqued --- ”This jacknife is rusted” --- and the widow tries to put a brave face on it: ”All this radio really needs/ Is a fuse” or ”You can pound that dent out/ On the hood.” On another level though, it's a heartwrenching farewell as the wife sells the only things left that she has of her husband, or the things that perhaps remind her why he died. It's a sad comparmentalision of a life, breaking it down into its individual components --- ”His rifle, his boots/ Full of rocks” --- quite literally, the measure of a man. It would seem though, that the wife can't let everything go, as she decides to keep one of his medals: ”This one is for bravery/ And this one is for me” but everything else must go. ”Everything's a dollar/ In this box.” Perhaps even more poignant these days, with wars in foreign lands and soldiers dying for questionable causes, this was written before all those troubles, but it really doesn't matter, as unfortunately as long as there are men there will be wars, and as long as there are leaders there will be those who will die for them, or at their command. “Soldier's things”, then, is just another example of the clinical, often cynical but ultimately realistic way Tom Waits looks at things. Even death. ”Davenports and kettle drums and swallow tail coats, Tablecloths and patent leather shoes. Bathing suits and bowling balls and clarinets and rings; All this radio really needs is a fuse. A tinker, a tailor, a soldier's things: His rifle, his boots full of rocks. Oh, and this one is for bravery, And this one is for me. And everything's a dollar in this box. Cuff links and hub caps, trophies and paperbacks. It's good transportation but the brakes aren't so hot. Necktie and boxing gloves; This jackknife is rusted. You can pound that dent out on the hood. A tinker, a tailor, a soldier's things: His rifle, his boots full of rocks. Oh and this one is for bravery. And this one is for me. And everything's a dollar in this box.” http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._Valentine.jpg Kentucky Avenue, from “Blue Valentine”, 1978 (Asylum) One of the most tragic and tearjerking songs Waits has ever written, it begins as a very disarmingly charming conversation between two childhood friends, though there's only one side of the exchange heard in the lyric. It's apparently based on a real-life friend Waits had as a child, who suffered from polio, but you don't realise that until the end. As the song opens the boys are discussing (or at least, Waits is telling his friend) all the things they're going to do that day: simple things boys of that age do, like climb trees, hang out in disreputable and forbidden places, annoy older people. It's all very innocent, and as with many of Waits' songs, namechecks characters, some of whom are real and existed in his world, some of whom may be constructs or even composites of other people. Dicky Faulkner, Mrs. Storm and Ronnie Arnold are all mentioned; of these we only know Mrs. Storm existed. According to Waits, she was the typical “mad old woman” who always had a shotgun protruding out her window, on the lookout for kids who wanted to annoy her perhaps, or burgulars. Or communists. Or gays. Or whatever angered and/or frightened her. The song is played in a slow piano melody, Waits' vocal at first quite matter-of-fact for him, then in the last verse he hits the reveal, with beautiful, melancholic strings joining the sparse melody as he moans like a wounded animal: ”I'll take the spokes from your wheelchair/ And a magpie's wings/ And I'll tie them to your shoulders/ And your feet” and we realise with shock that his friend is crippled, that all the things he speaks of doing with him are impossible, as the boy can't walk. With the typical blind optimism of childhood though, he believes he can ”Steal a hacksaw from my dad/ Cut the braces off your legs/ And we'll bury them tonight/ Out in the cornfield.” It's a powerful revelation, the first time you hear it, and Waits' angry, sullen, frustrated voice carries the song into new realms, where the innocence of childhood is shattered like so much cheap glass and lies strewn on the floor, tiny reflections of the crippled child winking back up at him from each fragment as if in mockery of his efforts. I cry every time I hear this song, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. ”Eddie Grace's Buick got four bullet holes in the side; Charlie Delisle sittin' at the top of an avocado tree. Mrs Storm will stab you with a steak knife if you step on her lawn. I got a half a pack of “Lucky Strike”s, so come along with me. Lets fill our pockets with macadamia nuts, Then go over to Bobby Goodmansons And jump off the roof. Hilda plays strip poker while her mama's across the street: Joey Navinski says she put her tongue in his mouth. Dicky Faulkner's got a switchblade and some gooseneck risers. That eucalyptus is a hunchback; There's a wind out from the south. So let me tie you up with kite string: I'll show you the scabs on my knee. Watch out for broken glass, put your shoes and socks on And come along with me. Lets follow that fire truck --- I think your house is burnin' down. Then go down to the hobo jungle and kill some rattlesnakes with a trowel. We'll break all the windows in the old Anderson place And steal a bunch of boysenberrys and smear 'em on your face. I'll get a dollar from my mama's purse And buy that skull and crossbones ring And you can wear it around your neck on an old piece of string. Then we'll spit on Ronnie Arnold, flip him the bird; Slash the tires on the school bus --- now don't say a word! I'll take a rusty nail and scratch your initials in my arm And I'll show you how to sneak up on the roof of the drugstore. Take the spokes from your wheelchair and a magpie's wings And I'll tie them to your shoulders and your feet. I'll steal a hacksaw from my dad And cut the braces off your legs And we'll bury them tonight out in the cornfield. Just put a church key in your pocket, We'll hop that freight train in the hall. We'll slide all the way down the drain To New Orleans in the fall.” http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...oneMachine.jpg The ocean doesn't want me, from “Bone machine”, 1992 (Island) One of the most minimalist songs on this album, it shows Waits at his most esoteric, with a semi-return to the slow percussive beats of some of the songs on “Swordfishtrombones” and “Rain dogs”, with strange little sounds in the background, and Waits' vocal somewhat mechanised and more in a spoken word style of singing than anything. It's a short song, less than two minutes long, and seems to concern someone who's preparing to commit suicide but hasn't quite made up his mind, or built up the courage to perform the act. He keeps blaming the ocean (in which, no doubt, he plans to drown), saying it isn't ready for him, but remarks he'll be back tomorrow. ”The ocean doesn't want me today, But I'll be back tomorrow to play. And the strangles will take me Down deep in their brine. The mischievous braingels; Down into the endless blue wine. I'll open my head and let out: All of my time. I'd love to go drowning And to stay and to stay, But the ocean doesn't want me today. I'll go in up to here: It can't possibly hurt. All they will find is my beer and my shirt. A rip tide is raging, And the life guard is away. But the ocean doesn't want me today. The ocean doesn't want me today.” |
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When did words such as “like” and “follow” and even “comment” gain capitalisation, so that they became more than the simple words they were? Nowadays you can't open a magazine or visit a website without being annoyed by those tiny little symbols and logos, and these single words prompting, almost demanding, you to Like, Follow or Comment on whatever the subject is. Yes, I'm talking about Facebook, I'm talking about Twitter and I'm talking in general about social media. https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/im...Y9uTFJXQzKIKNA Personally, I have little or no use for Facebook, and less for Twitter. I can see how many people do, and how for some people life with FB as they prefer to call it would be hard, and in some cases perhaps even impossible. But I don't need it, and I certainly don't want it. It's of little interest to me to learn what people I have not heard from or talked to in months or years are doing today: where they're taking their holidays, who their new friends are, what they're reading, the movies they've seen recently. I have even less interest in allowing people I have never met, and don't know from Adam, to “become my friends”. And that's another thing: friend has suddenly become a verb. You can now “Friend” someone. You make them your friend, and it's called “Friending”. Oh, and you can UN-Friend them too. Well, there are people I know for whom that sort of thing, did it actually work in the real world, would be very handy. But there's the rub: it doesn't work in the real world. Just because you disallow someone to contact you on Facebook doesn't mean that they disappear off the face of the Earth (though wouldn't that be cool?); it's just your way of not having to deal with them anymore, in cyberspace at least. Of course, the line between the real and the digital world is blurring more every day, to the extent that people, especially the younger ones, are spending so much time online that they're beginning to confuse reality with fantasy. But none of that goes to the heart of why I hate social media personally. It's the invasiveness and the intrusion that gets to me. Although I setup a Facebook page --- almost against my better judgement --- to try to keep in touch with my co-workers when I took redundancy, I found that nothing I wrote got commented on or even acknowledged, and any comments I made on anyone else's page --- no matter how well I had known them in “real life” --- tended to get ignored in nine out of ten cases. Proving that in order to be a “proper Friend” (let's give it the capitalisation, almost the anthropomorphication it demands) on Facebook you have to be constantly commenting, posting, keeping, as it were in the loop; this is hard to do when you're separated from people physically and don't know what's going on in their day-to-day life. Your finger, basically, is no longer on the pulse. Facebook is essentially for the younger generation, those who have many friends and need to constantly update them on where they're meeting, how they got on last night, what's new in music and so on. It's basically mostly inane babble and chatter, much like Instant Messaging can be. It's verbal diarrhoea, transposed to the internet. And what annoys me is that despite, or perhaps because of, the fact that I visit Facebook very very rarely and post even less, I'm forever getting reminders that there are “updates I may have missed”, or that “Facebook misses you”, or some other inane attempt to get me to log back on again. Facebook, if I've been away it's because I want to be away, because I have little to no interest in what Jim from Dundalk or Rosie from Coolock has to say about this “fab new place to have dinner”, or that Harry from Malahide “Likes this”. I couldn't care less. If I want to visit Facebook, I will: I don't need gentle prodding reminders telling me I haven't been there for a while. I KNOW! I'm a person, not some software program that's defective and needs to be reinitialised! And that brings us to the other bane of the internet, at least as far as I'm concerned: Twitter. Now, I can see how this would be a good idea with someone famous, or interesting: people can hear about what he or she is up to, what they're working on, where they're going etc. But for the normal Joe Soap, like me? Who the hell cares what I had for breakfast, what I'm reading, where I'm taking my holidays or what I saw in a shop window? But people (as opposed to, let's say, People, to distinguish the ordinary folk from the stars and celebs) are obssessed with recording and uploading every tiny detail of their day, in almost pathological fervour, as if anyone cares! It's the ultimate in narcissism. These people actually think that people care what they think. What they do. How they feel. Well, unless they're your friends (as opposed to Friends) they don't. They're either laughing at how conceited you are, or preparing to upload a picture of the last dump they took, while at the same time shaking their head about how silly you are. And we're being asked to Follow (again, big F) these people! Sure, some may have interesting things to say, but most are just vain and full of themselves, and people who Follow them are just feeding that fire, that hunger for recognition and attention. Do we really need to hear every little thing Dana from Milwaukee does in her day, or delve deeply into the troubled psyche of Aaron from Brisbane? And whose life is so lacking, who needs attention and self-vindication so badly that they'll upload a picture of what they're about to eat, or will take a picture of themselves outside a cinema (“Me outside the Odeon, about to go see “The Dark Knight returns”. OMG I'm looking forward to this film!”) Look, social media has of course its uses. I'd be completely remiss to omit to point out that it has been very instrumental in effecting change across the world, with heavily beleagured populations in open revolt or being repressed by a totalitarian government being able to get their messages out through Facebook and Twitter. It has also helped raise awareness and start campaigns, finding missing children and only this week here, a missing dog. It can help bring people together, but just as easily it can be used for “evil”, allowing predators to stalk kids on the internet by perusing their FB page. The idea that your popularity depends on how many Friends (Facebook) or Followers (Twitter) you have makes it easy for someone you don't know to be accepted as a Friend, and once there they're basically in. You can Un-Friend them, sure (not sure if you can make them stop Following you, as I'm not at all familiar with Twitter) but by then the damage has probably been done. Naturally, you can use this argument for any part of the net, but Facebook actively promotes adding more and more and more and more Friends, constantly harrassing and bombarding you with Requests from people who want to be your Friend. You don't know anything about them, how they found you, who they know, nothing. They're just a picture (and it may not even be theirs) and you Accept or Reject, or maybe Ignore, I'm not sure. In my brief dalliances with Facebook I was hit with a steady stream of people who wanted to be my Friend, none of whom I knew or who were connected to me or my friends in any way. That's all an argument for another day, of course, but it does worry me how Facebook has got into every area of life now. Companies and Corporations all have a Facebook page, new games have one, TV shows have one. Seems everyone does. Soon it'll be as crazy a question to ask “Have you a Facebook page?” as it used to be to ask “Have you a phone?” It's just accepted that you do: surely everyone has? Well, not me. I don't want Facebook. I don't trust them. I don't want you as my Friend unless you really are my friend, and I know you in real life. I don't want your ads, Facebook, and I don't want your games. I certainly do not want your recommendations and you can keep your suggestions about “people I might like to add” to yourself. And as for Twitter: if I want to Follow a Twitter, there are birds in my garden. So, this is my message, and please, all social media of all shapes and forms, take it to heart! http://www.trollheart.com/effofffb.jpg |
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