Live Transmission - My life as a transgendered musician
 

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Nope. No questions.
Just surprised to see how closeted you have to be, both towards your parents and band members :(.
It's sad to hear such a thing.

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Welcome to Music Banter, Madeleine, and thank you for trusting us enough to share. I think we can all learn a lot from one another, mostly about music, and a bit about life. ;)

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What a brave post! There has been some real sharing on this forum, a lot of personal stuff, but this is probably the most intimate revelation anyone here has, er, revealed, at least since I've been here. Well done.

And apologies for the way you got/get treated. It's awful how people think they have a right to tell you how to run your life, and that their way is the only way. It's nothing close, but I do have an idea of how you feel, as I have been a crossdresser for decades (oh no! There goes my long-held secret!), and although I personally don't want to BE a woman nor have any interest in men sexually, I get great relief from dressing as a woman. In my case, my family knows but at first rejected the idea (brothers mostly) and then just sort of pretended it didn't happen. My sister was more accepting but even now she will understand that I may dress in my room but doesn't want to see or hear about it. She is bedbound with MS, so being her carer I don't really get that much time to dress, but take the opportunity when I can.

It's a huge thing "coming out", I know, and a massive risk. What if it's received badly? It usually is. You think people may have their suspicions but usually that's not the case; they're shocked, confused, often disgusted and not that seldom angry, as if you've paid them a personal affront. Why people can't just accept people for who they are I will never know.

It's sad that your family were so insensitive to what must have been a truly traumatic time for you, and were no help at all to you in coming to terms with who you are. Have you tried any of the TG support groups? I don't know if they're any good --- I've just posted on forums --- but it often helps to talk to someone who will listen and not judge.

I'll look forward to your reviews and so on, and if you would like to talk privately please feel free to do so. Sometimes it helps, and like the Bee Gees once wrote: it's only words, but words are all I have.

Take care and don't lose hope. Be who you are, and eff star star kay everyone who doesn't understand. It's their loss.

Be well

Trollheart aka Stacey-Lynn

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Fair play to you! You've finally figured out that it's not a disease to be trans, that you don't have to suffer, that you can actually enjoy it. You may even enjoy the transition, should you choose to go ahead with it. That I know nothing of, but I'd imagine apart from everything else it's exciting, almost like being born again.

Glad you're not depressed anymore, as that does no-one any good, and just helps alienate you from people who want to help. Of course you can be a woman and act, even dress like a man if the mood takes you, but then the other side of the coin is you can get all dressed up when you want and no-one will, or should, judge you. In essence, you can have the best of both worlds.

One piece of advice though, if you do go through with the sexual reassignment: lose the beard! :D

Be well
TH

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Just read this blog from start to finish. I was glad to get to the end of it and see that you're doing a lot better. Not that I really doubted you. From the moment I read about a failed suicide attempt, I knew everything would turn out okay. The fact that you're still alive means you want to be alive on some level. It's easy to die when you think about it. I don't know if I really can, but at the very least, I feel as if I can relate...

I'm younger than you are, but like you, I tried to kill myself a couple years ago. Won't go into the reason, but I was convinced that I wasn't meant to be and that I was hellbound. I still sometimes think I am hellbound depending on when you ask me (right now I don't) but even when I think so, the thought doesn't even bother me at all. Hasn't in a long while. After all, it doesn't change what I would be doing right now.

Cheers, and a good new year to you too,
Bullet

this is strange since I thought England is a much more open country

i came out in a lawyers thread recently myself about my bisexuality - it didn't go down well at all, lots of derisions and i have since unsubscribed to that group

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not here, it's a google group

it was a lawyer's thread about homosexuality in Malaysia

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I know most have no interest in Thai music here but there is a nice story which might be relevant to this thread, that of Bell Nunita.

Latest News on Bell - Bell Nuntita aka Nuntrita Khampriranon official website

This page has a brief interview and news about her success with videos. Her song at the end of last year would be one of my 100 favourite Thai melodies of the year, which means something to me as I consider Thai pop to be as great as anywhere over the last 10 years. Probably not your kind of music as it's very un-punk lol, but still a nicely crafted ballad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFUA01HLb4w

Wow, thanks Above for sharing your story. I am a Christian and strongly believe in God personally myself as a person but I am so sorry for hearing you being hated for being a LGBT person. I feel bad for you. LGBT get a bad rep. I know what I am talking about. I mean I know someone who is gay and he is not a easy person to around with and he displays what many people say is typical of a LGBT person.

Dude, if you want to talk about how hard your life has been, please talk to me. You just say how you feel. I will not be severe in judging you. Life is so unfair to hear.

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How did you deal with your parents being so terrible about that? You were just coming to terms with who you are, and I see nothing wrong with that in the least.

Have they gotten any more accepting about the idea? I'm glad your boyfriend is totally accepting, you need someone to be. Music is a powerful thing too, never give up on that dream. :) I personally can't play anything, but I have major respect for those who can. Its not as easy as it looks, that's for sure. Music can save lives, honestly.