Nicely worded review. Have you heard any other albums by the Pixies? I have only listened to "Doolittle" (which is really, really great), and I'm definitely going to get more of their music, as they are very creative, and have inspired o many great artists.

Not yet. I seem to remember having given Doolittle a spin a while back, but I remember nothing about it. And thanks. I don't think that I have the best ear for analyzing music, but it's still a fun lark.

:rofl: I was going to respond to this in like, but my head appears to be out of suitable witticisms.

The Jesus Lizard: Goat

Well, I've had a hit and miss relationship with noise rock so far, so I don't know how I'm gonna feel about this band, but they get so much mention that I figure it's about time I gave them a shot...




Well, this is another Albini production, and I notice that this has the same vibe as Surfer Rosa. I guess that's just something he does. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I just finished with the Pixies review, and now I'm hearing a production that sounds pretty much the same. I'm hoping I don't end up feeling about Steve Albini the way I feel about Rick Rubin, where at first you marvel at the power his production gives his projects, but eventually you get sorta bored with how it takes a lot of the personality out of the bands he produces.

I think Jesus Lizard might just be a miss, at least for the moment. Maybe subsequent listens may reveal some awesomeness, but for now I'm kinda bored. I have a lot of the same problems with noise rock that I do with hardcore. It just sounds like a bunch of noise (imagine that) and there's not much for me to latch onto. Of course noise rock isn't usually as dull as hardcore, but it's still pretty hit or miss with me.

The Velvet Underground: White Light/White Heat

I've listened to The Velvet Underground on a number of occasions, but for the most part I only really know The Velvet Underground and Nico, which I sort of dig. I've only listened to this album once and I wanted to recheck it out...




I've been trying to figure out how to talk intelligently about the song structures for about thirty minutes now, but I know fuck all about song structure or time signatures and in the end I don't really know what I'm talking about. Even so, I can still tell that this album has a very free approach to songwriting. Much of it is very simple and repetitive, but it often turns into jamming or free form experimentation. I can't help but think that the songs on here don't really even feel like songs so much as they do an R&B band (or insert more relevant reference) just playing all out in a piano bar. It gives the whole thing a sense of freedom and fun that along with the warm, fuzzy production makes you feel comfortable and at the same time challenged. It's an experimental album that feels nonthreatening and unpretentious (with the exception of "The Gift") in its experimentation.

If I had to have a problem with this on the first go round, it would be that "The Gift" is cool the first time you hear it, but after that it just becomes unnecessary. I can appreciate how ground breaking it might have been to release a song that talked so honestly and intelligently about modern sexuality in 1968, but in 2013 it doesn't have the same impact. So all we're left with is the music, which gets old. Not that it's a chore to listen to, but it's definitely not a highlight for me. The fact that it's eight minutes long doesn't help.

I am but a humble, half-retard metalhead, so I can't comment on just how good "Sister Ray" is, but I still loved it. It's simple beat is hypnotic, and even though I didn't concentrate on it the whole time thanks to my short attention span, I kept getting drawn back in to enjoy the song over and over again. It just has this infectious energy that grabs a hold of you and makes you feel like you're at the world's coolest party. And the last two minutes are more punk rock than the Clash's entire discography.

I'm sure that I didn't do VU any particular justic with that review, but I am still totally stoked at having really listened to this album. I might have to go back and really give Nico a better listen as well, not to mention their other albums.

An album let down by Nico's shocking voice on the songs she sings, I usually get some hate when I mention that on a VU thread.

I don't either, so I just bluff it. Most of these proggers that harp on about the in and outs and complexities of time signatures and other some such stuff........... I'm sure are winging it as well.

For somebody that doesn't think they know how to write a review for this kind of music, you've done a pretty good job. Try listening to some of the Krautrock bands from this period and you might enjoy.

Oh, **** yes! I'm convinced that at least some of the people who like Nico on that album are full of ****. Her voice is dull and pretentious as all hell. I know she's German, but that's no excuse for that voice.


I've listened to a bit of Neu, Kraftwerk, and Can, and I definitely dig them. I just need to actually delve further into them. Right now though I'm on a cheesy pop kick. Christina Aguilera is currently ruling my ears.

The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground and Nico

Moving on from White Light/White Heat I'm reaquainting myself with VU's debut. Should be sweet...




First of all, "Sunday Morning" is an awesome way to start the album. It's sort of a cliche for a rock'n'roll album to start off with the heaviest/fastest/most bitchin' song on the album to give you a "Welcome to the Asskick Fest" thing, but this album starts off mellow as yellow. This would be a perfect song to just put on first thing in the morning and wake up to.

Much of this album isn't really "avant garde" so much as it is just a more mature, experimental form of garage rock. I don't know what the dividing line between avant garde and just experimental is, but this still feels like rock'n'roll to me, just much more intelligent than most rock bands. It's also highly addictive and does a better job of making rock'n'roll respectable than prog rock ever did. In general it doesn't quite have the energy as White Light/White Heat, but it seems to have a greater diversity of songs. All in all I prefer White Light, but this is still a really cool album. At least for me the second half of the album isn't quite as amazing as the first half though. I know everyone and their mother go on about "Heroin", but it's just a good song as far as I'm concerned. Likewise, as cool as "The Black Angel's Death" song is with Cale's viola, it isn't quite as good as "Venus In Furs". Not that the second half isn't cool, but just not as much as the first half, though "European Son" is pretty damn sweet with it's frantic and at times terrifying noise experimentation.

I'm not really the biggest fan of Nico. Her songs give the album a different atmosphere which is kinda cool, but if they had been left off I wouldn't really be too sad.

Aside from the higher energy songs like "Run, Run, Run" and "Waiting for the Man", the standout song on this album has to be "Venus In Furs". The song itself is suitably bizarre sounding, and with Cale's unsettling viola playing over it, it is a truly weird but unique and bitchin' song.

Edit: I was just listening to White Light/White Heat again after Nico and I have to change my opinion slightly. I said that "All in all I prefer White Light" but now I have to say that White Light destroys Nico. I dig Nico, but I'm already coming to the conclusion that White Light is one of my new favorite albums and it keeps getting better with every listen.

Only half-retarded? When did you make this miraculous recovery? :rofl: ;)
Seriously, I get what you say about "Copperhead Road": I was the same when I listened to it and I mentioned it in the review, which was one of the first in my journal, about two years ago now. It's like it's two albums: side one is heavy, pumping, get-the-****-out-of-my-way rebel country rock, while side two is, well, just a total wimpout.

If you want to hear Earle at his best (if you're still interested) try these: The Hard Way, I feel alright, Transcendental blues and El corazon. And if you want to read more about him I did a full feature on him back in 2011: I know you're a lazy bastard so here's the link to save you from searching... http://www.musicbanter.com/members-j...ml#post1081451

:confused:

I have no memory of this reference. What was it I said? And I'm sure I'll get around to more Steve Earle at some point. I hear too many good things about his later stuff to ignore him.

The Replacements: Let It Be

The Replacements are yet another band that I'm familliar with but not that familiar with. So, yeah, enough with the dull intro...




If I had to compare this to something it would have to be London Calling. They're both albums that are making the transition from punk to pop, the vocals are notably similar, and they just, well...kinda sound alike. I'm not the biggest fan of London Calling, but this album is pretty fantastic.

First of all, this album's punk influence isn't dulled to the extent that it is on London Calling. LC lacks a certain energy that this album has in bags, which makes it's pop hooks even more infectious than LC's.

Secondly, I think that the "experiments" on London Calling are rather shallow and only serve to add some extra personality to the pop songs. Let It Be is more organic though. It adds country and power pop to the punk in a way that is seamless and never feels like a gimmick.

Finally, I never quite noticed it before, but listening to The Replacements made me realize it. Without the anger and energy of early Clash, the political lyrics fail to arouse anything but indifference. Not that I cared in the first place, but it sort of makes me disconnect from the album. Paul Westerberg, though his voice sounds sort of similar to Joe Strummer, has a voice that expresses emotions effortlessly, and along with his much more personal lyrics, really makes you relate to the album. From an emotional standpoint London Calling just feels two dimensional and dull in comparison.

It might be weird to review one album by bashing another one, but it's just the way it came together in my mind. So, whatevs. All you need to know is The Replacements > The Clash.

Judas Priest: Jugulator

This is one of the most maligned albums in all of metal. This was Judas Priest's first album without Rob Halford and the first with Tim "Ripper" Owens. Obviously no matter how good a vocalist he is the fans were gonna hate this album to some degree. I never listened to the whole album, but I always loved the title track, so I'm gonna see if the hate is truly justified...




Pretty much this is Painkiller mixed with Machine Head's Burn My Eyes. On paper this should be awful. A trad metal band trying it's hand at thrash/groove metal? Gag. And I can't say I'm the biggest fan of either of those albums anyway. Burn My Eyes is just too samey and I'm just not a big groove metal guy in the first place. Painkiller was great when I was younger, but it's lost a lot of its charm with repeated listens. Yet weirdly enough, I think that Jugulator actually manages to make those elements work. There really are some truly kickass songs on here, and Judas Priest are almost, dare I say it, brutal at times. There's a lot of neo thrash style chugging riffs that may not be to everyone's taste (they're not usually to mine either), but Judas Priest's grasp of dynamics gives this an energy that keeps the energy flowing so that one is never really bored. It also helps that Owens' vocals aren't nearly as dull as Robb Flynn's. Hell, I think his vocals on here are better than Halford's on Painkiller. Rob Halford's vocals on Painkiller sometimes feel they're being high pitched just for the sake of being high pitched and I end up being a little bored as a result, whereas Owens' vocal style actually suits more aggressive metal in a way that Halford's just doesn't. I imagine that if I were in the same room as you people that I'd being picking cabbage from out of my hair by now, but I'm the Guardian of True Metal here and you're just peons, so kiss my ass.

Aside from the fact that it doesn't really sound like a Priest album, I think that the main charge that could be laid on this album would be that it's mind numbingly dumb, and it certainly is. It's one of the dumbest albums you'll ever hear in fact. I mean, Jugulator? Really? But you must know me well enough by now to know that cheese and stupidity are no barriers to me. Seriously, if you can't love a song that uses "jugulate" as a verb, or that says, "Jugulator killing time now/Reaches in and rips your spine out" then you are a boring person and we are not friends. It's not like Judas Priest were ever the most intelligent band in the first place. The video to "Breaking the Law" had the band robbing a bank with the power of metal for god's sake. If that isn't jumping the shark then I don't know what is. So, if you complain about this being stupid then you must have a skewed view of Judas Priest in the first place. I think the cheesiness works in its favor actually. It keeps it from descending into brainless tough guy dullery like Pantera or cliched, dark, fuck-the-world lyrics like Machine Head.

So, in closing, Jugulator rules, and you don't.

You said it here.

I am but a humble, half-retard metalhead, so I can't comment on just how good "Sister Ray" is, but I still loved it

Only joking man of course... :shycouch:

Nice review of Jugulator there and it's actually an interesting album in a lot of ways. I always find it interesting when as you say, a traditional metal band tries to do a current metal sound, which was the thrash/groove thing at that time. Personally though, I think Robb Flynn a perfect vocalist for the Machine Head sound.

Well then, you're a penis. :finger:

It suits it, but his voice is still somewhat boring. I find Phil Anselmo's voice boring and an Anselmo impersonation is going to be likewise boring to me. He's gotten better over the years but his base sound is just kind of meathead.

The Rolling Stones: The Rolling Stones

I'm sorta art rocked out for the moment and I had no idea what to listen to today, so I ended up settling for some straight up old school rock'n'roll. Everybody and their mother has listened to the Rolling Stones obviously, but I never gave more than a cursory listen to any of their actual albums.

P.S. I'm doing the English version, because fuck America.




This is definitely at its best when it's going all out. Songs like like "Route 66", "Carol", and "I Just Wanna Make Love to You" are full of more energy than any band has any right to have on a whole album. When they slow things down it's more of a mixed bag. While "I'm a King Bee" is suitably badass and is made even more badass with a harmonica (harmonicas fucking rule) songs like "Honest I Do" and "Tell Me (You're Coming Back)" are rather dull ballads that sound like the sort of songs that only a sixties teenager could love. Luckily these songs are few and far between and for the most part you have some truly kickass R&B. Not a whole lot else to say about this album, since it's not exactly the most complex or "arty" album ever made, but it certainly shows that an album made up almost entirely of covers can be pretty fantabulous.

The Rolling Stones made me wanna listen to The Sonics...




Seriously. Best garage band and album of all time. If you don't love the Sonics then you are a bitch and should get the fuck away from me before I hit you in the shins with a tire iron. This is just a blast of energy that legitimately holds up today as a force of nature. This band basically just plays garage rock at as high a noise level as it is possible to do and they were doing this in 1965. This puts the Rolling Stones' first album to shame only a year after that album was released. As far as I can tell from a cursory knowledge of this type of music this album (along with their second album) might be unique in that it has no ballads. Nothing to slow things down and give all the dumb teenagers something to slow dance to. Just pure ass kicking from a band who were surely on some serious amphetamines. I would kill to be able to have seen this band live in its heyday. I'm sure they would have utterly destroyed my eardrums and given my fat ass acute myocardial infarction. The production is just perfect. It is noisy and heavy enough to level a city block. Apparently they would stick ice picks into their amps to make them sounded all fucked up. Bitchin'. There isn't a whole lot more to say other than get your bitch ass to wherever it is that you get your music and listen to this ASAP and then stick a soldering iron into your eardrums, because it's all going to be downhill from there.

Dr. Feelgood: Down By the Jetty

My need for simple, badass rock'n'roll leads me to Dr. Feelood. The kickass pub rock band, not the shitty Motley Crue album.




These dudes take the lessons of John Lee Hooker to their logical conclusions. Alright, there's just the one lesson, but it's a badass one: find a toe tapping blues riff, sit on it for several minutes, end song. And if a girl takes off her top in the interim, all the better (the girl in the picture has just listened to "She Does It Right".) This is raw, dirty-as-fuck R&B worship with as much brains as a zombie buffet after closing and boy does it rule. Take the Stones at their noisiest, combine with the heavy, ultra simple blues of the aforementioned John Lee Hooker, and you've pretty much got Dr. Feelgood in a nutshell. They're one of those bands that's not original because they're actually original, but because most bands with common sense wouldn't ever think to be so myopically unoriginal. They show a dedication to their craft that has no room for innovation since it would only dilute the simplicity of their attack. You could listen to the entire album, or you could just pick a song and listen to it for half an hour. Either would be just as badass.

P.S. Props for using a harmonica. Anything with a harmonica instantly goes up two cool points.

P.P.S. People who use "an" before a word beginning with "h" are festizios. "H" is a consonant and therefore you use "a". Shit turds.

You are my hero! :beer: I HATE it when people do this too! "An historic moment" --- NO NO NO NO!!! It's "A historic moment," you imbecile! :mad:

Britney Spears: ...One More Time

You bitches can lie all you want, but you know that at least once "Hit Me Baby One More Time", or "Oops...I Did It Again" has come on the radio and you didn't turn the station. Yet even someone like me who loves him some trashy teeny bopper pop has had the self respect to never actually listen to a Britney Spears album. I mean, she may have a few fun singles, but surely her albums are shit, right? We shall see...




Thank god it starts with the title track. I have no particular desire to jump right into album filler. At least now I can ease into the cluster fuck of crap that is surely to come. Then you have the other big single, "Crazy". Maybe this won't be so bad.

Oh god. Third song is a shitty ballad. I already want to smother a twelve year old girl for being the audience for this. Next song.

Hahahahahahaha! It's a wanna be wanna be (no that's not a typo) reggae song! I guess it has what some dumb teeny bopper might think was a standard Bob Marley beat with a standard electronic pop beat over that and there's even what I must assume is a severely depressed, fourth-rate reggae singer singing the chorus. The best part, it's called "Soda Pop". I don't know whether I am delighted or indifferent.

And another god damn ballad. On the plus side it's called "I Was Born to Make You Happy", so...yay for misogyny. ANOTHER FUCKING BALLAD!!! Alright, I'm actually going to listen to the whole thing for once. There must be something entertaining here...well, it's not necessarily offensive, but I really can't bring myself to care. Something tells me that with continued listening my good taste might be overridden and I might enjoy this, but one listen ain't gonna do it.

Thank god, not another ballad. It's not nearly as good as the first two songs, but I am sort of entertained. Damn it! Ballad! Alright, this is bullshit. I'm skimming the rest of the songs. Next song, not bad, but not great either. Skip. I just accidentally listened to the next ballad because I was ranting about bacteria and plants leaving my body the fuck alone on MB, but it was just another shitty ballad. Would have skipped. Although on the plus side it was called "Email My Heart". Sort of win. Thank god, last song. Another not quite boring pop song. Skip. Scratch that. On second thought I am actually sort of entertained.

I wouldn't necessarily call that a miserable experience, but if I'd been forced to listen to that album in its entirety I would have wanted to rain down hot death on Britney Spears. If you have any desire to listen to this, then I urge you to reconsider. There is nothing on here that is even close to as entertaining as the two singles. Just listen to those songs and avoid the rest unless you are just feeling very bored and whimsical like me.

P.S. I'd just like to point out that Britney Spears was sixteen on the cover of this album. So, it's nice to know that they had not just the teeny bopper demographic on lock but the pedophile one as well.

P.P.S. While I certainly have some pervy feelings towards that cover, I was like twelve when it and the video to "Hit Me Baby One More Time" came out so my underage pervy nostalgia makes it okay. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Britney Spears: Oops!...I Did It Again

Why am I listening to another Britney album? Wasn't the last one punishment enough? Yes, but I have the morbid desire to tell people, "Yeah, but XXXX is actually a great album." The confused stares would surely be worth any possible torture. Besides, apparently this got better reviews than the debut. I am dubious, but why not?




Again, I'm sure the first two songs will be the best. "Oops!...I Did It Again" is another of those songs that you know you kind of like even if you don't want to admit it. And "Stronger" is just one of the best pop songs ever recorded. I don't care what any of you bitches say, I could listen to this song all day. So already the two singles shit on the debut. I even remember liking that ballad "Lucky", so here's hoping the rest of the album doesn't blow. I've just listened to "Stronger" three times in a row, so hopefully I should be inoculated against the rest of the album. I shall now say a prayer to Dio and proceed.

Alright, the next song, "Don't Go Knockin' On My Door" is already a massive improvement on the third song off the debut, even considering that was a shitty ballad. As far as the second tier pop songs this is far better than any of the other songs on the first album. So, hopefully the tales are true and this will be an overall better album. Now, the next song is one of the reasons I decided to listen to this album. It's a cover of "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction". Yeah, that song. Yay! Oh, no! It's a ballad. Wait, there's the dance beat. Thank god. I was scared. It's certainly not as good as the original, but it's some quality terrible dance pop. I would be proud to annoy any hypothetical friends in my hypothetical car by blasting this. Preferably next to a car full of hypothetical hot chicks who think we're gay.

A ballad. And I don't hate it. The production massively improves this. ...Baby One More Time was just dull, teeny bopper pop that would have fit in an Olsen Twins movie for the most part, but Oops!...I Did It Again is much more about dance clubs and is much more fun as a result. Even the ballad I'm listening to sounds much better with the more full production. It's still not something I'd jump at listening to, but I don't have the immediate urge to skip it.

The album is now half over and I've either loved or liked everything on it so far. I figured the chance that anyone would give a shit about writing an entire album of good songs for an artist whose entire career is built on her singles would be pretty fucking slim, but I am being proven wrong. I am currently jamming to the aforementioned ballad "Lucky", and loving it. This just goes to show, stick a generic dance beat over over a generic pop ballad and overproduce the shit out of it and you get delicious.

The album's pretty much over and except for a couple songs I have been consistently entertained throughout. Most of the songs aren't really very distinguishable from one another, but that's not really the point. So long as I can disconnect my brain and indulge in catchy-as-fuck shit pop then I am happy. So yeah, ...Oops! I Did It Again is actually a great(ish) album.

Dude, what do you hear in Stronger? One of the best pop songs EVER RECORDED?? Batlord. Come on.

It's OKAY, but Oops...! I Did it Again blows it out of the water.

Another great song, but "Stronger" just hits that cheese pop sweet spot for me. That chorus just carries you along on that wave of euphoria the way good trash pop is supposed to.

Britney Spears: Britney

For my own personal amusement I've decided to go through Britney Spears' entire back catalogue. If I can claim to be the forum Britney expert then my life will be complete. So, now we're at her third album. From what I've read apparently she decided to adopt a more "mature" image. Pesonally I couldn't give less of a shit so long as it's still catchy and fun.




The first single on the album, "I'm a Slave 4 U" isn't as catchy as her earlier ones at first listen, but the dance pop vibe is even heavier than on Oops!...I Did It Again, so some of the catchiness is being carried by the beat. Whatever works. I'm a few songs in and the glitzy vibe of her earlier work has been jettisoned for a more "mature", club friendly sound. It's not a huge departure, but it's definitely her least embarrassing album yet. I guess you could call that progression. Lou Reed better watch his ass.

With the focus on club music and the lyrics about sex it's starting to feel like a Lady GaGa album. That is certainly not a bad thing. I loves me some GaGa. The songs are also another step up from the last album. Oops!...I Did It Again was pretty consistent, but most of the songs still weren't great, just pretty good. This is probably the best album I've heard from her so far.

Sweet. Another random cover. This time it's "I Love Rock'n'Roll". It's not as hilarious a choice as "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" but it's still pretty amusing. It's also a pretty tasty song.

Yeah, definitely her best album yet. The whole thing is pretty consistent and most of the songs are actually pretty awesome. I'm getting a legitimate urge to go to a CD store, put this on the counter for all to see, and actually buy this.

Remove "it out of the water" from your last sentence...

..and you got yourself a genuine, true statement.

You have angered the Britney. Throw yourself upon her Altar of Mortification and slit open your belly with the ceremonial dagger. You shall read her judgement in your entrails.

Britney Spears: In the Zone

Well here we are again. Another day another Britney album. I'm curious about this album. The last one showed a break from the teenage image and tried to come up with something more mature. It wasn't a complete break though. The glitzy, teen pop thing with the gigantic, cheesy choruses was still there, just sort of mixed with the club vibe. Maybe she completed the break on here.




Two songs in and it seems that she really might have dropped the last vestiges of bubblegum pop. The first song was as great as Britney's album opener usually is. The best thing though is the next song, "I Got that (Boom Boom)". This song features Ying Yang Twins. I shouldn't have to explain why this is so awesome. The song starts with either Ying or Yang or whatever they hell they call themselves screaming "SHAWTYYYY!!!!" and then going on to say, "We fin' to go to the club and get crunk with Britney!" If that doesn't make you happy then we are not friends. I think I even just heard a banjo in the production. This has just made my day. Thank you Britney Spears. Thank you Ying Yang Twins. You've given me the most hysterical song since her faux reggae song on her first album. The fact that the song actually bangs is just gravy. Ying Yang Twins even gave me some new slang. Apparently a "twilly" is a slut. Sweet.

She definitely seems to have shed the teen idol persona and has embraced...I don't want to use a loaded word like "slutty" (though I'm sure the cynical douche rags who give her her persona were probably thinking that word) but she definitely is highly sexualized at this point. Breathy singing. Lyrics about sex and partying. Production that could work just as easily in the bedroom as in the club. It makes this embarrassing to listen to for entirely different reasons.

Without the aforementioned big, cheezy choruses it's not quite as easy to get into the songs on here as on earlier albums, but given half a chance there are some serious ear worms all over this shiz. I'm actually sort of tripped out. Four albums in and Britney motherfucking Spears has only had one bad album. Who knew?

Britney Spears: Blackout

If you're getting tired of this there are only two more Britney albums. As for me, getting close to the end is actually making me a bit sad...




Well, I imagine after having switched from teen pop to...uh..."mature" (?) pop, there isn't much else to do. This sounds like the last album so far. I mean, it's not like she is a paragon of experimentation or anything, but there was always something a bit different on the next album, even if the change was shallow. Of course, this being Britney Spears, who really gives a flying fuck? You want change, go listen to AC/DC.

A few songs in, and while I still miss the cheeseball choruses, the quality of the clubby songs on here is such that I really can't complain. I keep waiting for her (i.e. her songwriters) to drop a big stinky turd of an album, but it hasn't happened yet, except for the aforementioned first album. I have to imagine that was basically just a record company trying to get fifteen minutes of fame off a couple singles and then move onto the next thing but, "Hey ho, what's this? She's big enough that we can continue to exploit her on a long term basis?" and bammo she actually gets good songwriters.

I'm listening to a song called, "Get Naked (I Got a Plan)" and I am seriously disappointed that Tommy Lee isn't on it. That is all.

I forgot to mention this last review, but these days Britney keeps using this over-processed, quasi-rapping singing style that's as goofy as it is entertaining. As I said before, Britney Spears is embarrassing for entirely different reasons these days.

I know I said that this sounds pretty much like the last album, but that album wasn't quite as consistent as I would have liked. This album hasn't dropped a dud yet. Every song on here is at least damn good, and half the songs are just brilliant. Britney's "performance" isn't the reason though. Britney's vocals really aren't the focus here and are pretty much just an accent to the beats, though they do their job admirably. It's all about the production on here. The vocal hooks aren't what they were in her teeny bopper days, but the production is lethally entertaining. Combining hip hop beats with dance pop may not sound like a revelation, but this album manages to use those influences to great effect. If you'll forgive a moment of douchiness, this album actually "bangs". Most other radio pop just kinda sounds tepid by comparison. The more I listen to this, the more this is becoming my favorite Britney Spears album. Claiming to have a favorite Britney Spears album just made me die a little inside. Fuck it, I'm totally buying this.

Update: I bought it.

Britney Spears: Circus

Second to last. Getting misty now.




I guess if it ain't broke then don't fix it. More of the same from the In the Zone/Blackout playbook. Sounds good to me. So long as the ear worms invade my body then I am happy. Like every one of her albums this starts with the two big singles and they are suitably swizeet.

Aw, man. I thought the days of cheesy ballads were over, but third song in and here we are. Nothing as awful as the garbage on the debut, but I am disappoint. But I'm probably full of shit. Give me a week and I'll probably be won over.

Thank Dio. More clubby dance pop goodness. This album's highs don't feel as high as Blackout though. That album was pretty space age as far as mainstream dance pop goes. The production was just full of energy from beginning to end and just plain fucking ruled. This seems like a slight step down, which probably shouldn't be surprising considering that at this point Britney's reputation had been destroyed after going off the deep end, so I imagine that the record company didn't consider her quite the priority that they did a few years ago.

If it matters to you her vocals are more "there" than they were last time around. I guess since she wasn't on whatever she was on and escaping from rehab to shave her head bald and attacking automobiles with umbrellas then she might have actually cared about things this time around. But since she's not Whitney Houston it's not like better vocals is really the biggest selling point anyway. Besides, the over use of auto-tune actually really suited Blackout. I didn't think I'd ever hear myself praise auto-tune but there it is.

You know without the harder beats I'm actually feeling myself lose interest near the end. Maybe it's Britney overload after having listened to so much of her for the last week, but Circus hasn't really connected with me in the same way that the previous album did, and I'm thinking this might be her worst album since her debut, though it's nowhere near the level of that abomination.

Suuure...right after she shaves her head.

Oops, she did it again.

I've got a lot of respect for you Batty (though you know that of course): for someone who's a hardcore metalhead to not only admit listening to someone like Britney but actively listen to her discography and post about it, fair play to you. Kind of makes me remember when I reviewed Pixie's "Young free and happy" or something. It's nice to step outside your (god no I can't say it can I?) comfort zone (AARRGGHHH!) once in a while, and while I'm not huge fan of BS (ha ha ha!) I do like the odd song. It's good that you're openminded enough to not just dismiss her completely, and even better that you couldn't give a toss what others think about that.

Well done man!

Britney Spears: Femme Fatale

Last Britney Spears album. Hold me.




Sounds much the same as the last album. It's not bad, but not particularly amazing either. Hip hop meets dance pop, but not as much fun as Blackout. I haven't heard anything particularly wrong, and I'm enjoying this album, but nothing's really beating me over the head either. I imagine that at this point Britney needs to pull a Madonna and reinvent herself cause she's become stale. I don't know that I see that happening though. Oh well, it's not like I'm particularly worried about Britney Spears embarrassing herself with bad albums. Again, not that this is bad, it's just kind of workaday.

Alright, "Seal It with a Kiss" is pleasing me. I'm hoping that this album might be starting to grow on me rather than this just being a better song than the others.

Nope, nothing's really jumping out at me. I was hoping that my last Britney review would be better than this, so I'm gonna give this another spin or two and hope that it grows on me.

Alright, this is definitely starting to grow on me. No godawful ballads helps. It's definitely not quite as infectious as past albums, but it's still tons of fun once you get over the fact that there isn't a "Hit Me Baby One More Time" or a "Toxic" level song on here. Scratch that, "I Wanna Go" might just be the song I was waiting for. In the words of Christopher Titus, that's some hot business.

I've just gone over the whole thing a couple times and it's definitely better than it appears on first listen. This is a worthy addition to Britney's questionable though highly entertaining discography. I'm now sad. No more Britney albums to review. I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself. Hide out in her bushes and masturbate while watching her watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta I imagine.

Lou Reed: Metal Machine Music

I've just been listening to this album for the last twenty minutes and I've decided to review it for no other reason than to say that in all this time I have had no idea what the fuck was going on. Throbbing Gristle makes more sense than this. I'm listening to it as background music while I surf the interwebs, so it's all pretty much just going past me without sounding like anything other than free form noise, but I imagine that if I sat down and actually listened to this that I would become frustrated in about thirty seconds and go stick my head in the toilet. I don't suppose making sense is the point though, so much as just screwing with the listener as he desperately tries to figure out what's happening to his ears. Mission accomplished, Lou. Yet somehow I am still enjoying myself. Honestly I don't even think this is because of any quality of the album, I'm just in the mood for some weirdness and would just as soon listen to Philip Glass or Diamanda Galas. I just happened to decide on this.

And if you're looking for a description of the "music" then fuck off. If you don't know what this is then you probably wouldn't care anyway.

Metal Machine Music is biggest Fuck You in music history so for that reason alone It'll always have a place in my collection.

Not that I'm dumb enough to pay for it or actually listen to the thing mind you.

Hey, some people are dumb enough to listen to Merzbow as more than just a novelty act.

I wish they had a thing on Last FM where you can see which person has the most plays by an artist out of every single person that's ever listened to that artist.

I bet Merzbow's would be his mother.

Kylie Minogue: Light Years

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All this Britney Spears is totally making me wanna expand my dance pop knowledge. Kylie Minogue is one of those names I've been hearing get thrown around so here goes.

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Damn. I am already highly entertained. Three songs in and I want to buy this. This is just fun, sun shiny, feel good music that is catchier than the Bubonic Plague and even more awesome. I love how this album has no qualms about sounding cheesy as all fuck. It just goes straight for your happy button without any sense of shame or self consciousness.

Kylie's voice and the dance pop/disco music on here feel like the perfect music for a night of dancing and questionable sex on the beach. So the cover is perfect. Or maybe a drive in a convertible along one of those California roads that's on a cliff overlooking the ocean. I wouldn't be driving of course. I'd be far too busy cleaning the shit from my pants. Seriously, who drives on those death traps?

Is that a song about the Loveboat? Oh, God that's just so deliciously goofy.

And just when I was thinking the disco was getting a bit repetitive in comes "Koocachoo" with some off-the-wall electro pop to make things nice and fresh again. Not to mention more fun than...than...hold on, I'll get back to you with an amusing metaphor. I wouldn't want to disappoint my adoring subjects after all. Ah, fuck it. I'm lazy.

Yeah, on a first(ish) listen this album is just awesome. I've definitely got a new obsession to explore. Why must America be so indifferent to anything not from America? This should have been all over the radio.

First of all, fuck you Ke$ha. No man should have to decide whether to use a dollar sign in a name or to preserve his dignity. Secondly my pop obsession rolls on like a tank over the trenches of World War I. If that wasn't the first WWI reference in a Ke$ha review then I fear for the world. Anyway...




God damn it. Why must I love this? Her whole style of singing makes my brain say "What godawful shit! Turn this off right now and go play a game of chess to wipe this abomination out of your brain," but it's also so cheesy that I can only love it. There isn't really much to say about the music other than it's the usual dance pop meets hip hop that has been used elsewhere since the beginning of time. The energy on display though sets it apart from the pack and makes you keep listening long after your better judgement has thrown its hands in the air and stormed off in anger. Good riddance. I don't even like to party but this kinda makes me wanna go find a frat party, do a keg stand, blackout, and then wake up on the front lawn wearing women's clothing and a sticky condom.

God damn it. Four songs of pure pop nirvana and now we get a lame ballad. Why on Earth would Ke$ha have the bad judgement to make a ballad? No one on Earth, be they teeny bopper or internet weirdo who should be filling out job applications, wants to hear Ke$ha try to wax emotional. It is somewhat amusing that the auto-tune doesn't stop even for what should be a heartfelt ballad though.

Thank god. Back to the terrible-but-glorious party pop.

God has abandoned me. Yet another ballad. Even worse. I don't entirely hate it. I know I should, but I am somehow entertained.

God be praised. "Party at a Rich Dude's House" has got to be one of the greatest names for a song of all time. The fact that the song bangs is an added bonus.

I am now at the end of the album and except for a couple questionable ballads pretty much the whole thing has made me deliriously happy. I use to assume that mainstream pop albums were terrible aside from the singles, but I am being forced to reevaluate this assumption. I'm going to have to buy a Cannibal Corpse album the next time I go to the CD store. Not to make up for anything, but just so that the clerk will give me a strange look when he sees Tomb of the Mutilated sitting on top of Ke$ha, Kylie Minogue, and Britney Spears.



When I was searching for a headphones pic I found this and I feel that it is worth sharing given the circumstances.

Lou Reed made a very similar statement about Metal Machine Music, ""Well, anyone who gets to side four is dumber than I am."

Reed's tinnitus inducing album is the sonic equivalent of placing both your ears on the speakers of Thurston Moore's amplifier while he does 65 minute feedback freakout on his guitar.

All this talk about Metal Machine Music, I've listened to it a couple a times over the years and remember sod all about it.