Your link just brings me to soundcloud's homepage.

That's strange. It brings me to a stream of my song "practicerun". Anyone else having this problem?

Listen Brother first of all you are not even singing... you are talking... your lyrics hold a child like quality to them and I dunno if you are aiming for that or what you are going for to be truthful with you...

You seem like a nice guy and I don't want to be a bitch and say something that would hurt your feelings but constructive criticism is something I have always learned from in my life. As a listener there is nothing that draws me in. I can't say I relate to it.. I don't feel like there is something that is going to grab even the most hard core Daniel Johnston fan...(he might have been mentally ill but certain songs were dead on the money... yours however reminds me of this one...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NzEnmvjbqF0


and I feel like you might be able to get away with something more like this if you tried...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNXTh4A4uS0

both by the same artist.. however one is SO amazing and ONE NOT SO MUCH... work on your lyrics... and try to sing rather then speak and you might have something... it might end up in the mentally disturbed genius file but one it's better then "the where are they now file" and you would be in good company there....

I know I'm talking. It's kind of my style. Ever listen to Toby Mac? He doesn't talk in every song but he talks a lot.

Don't worry about hurting my feelings. I can take costructive criticism and I can even take insults.

If it turns out my singing isn't very good and can't become better, I will just use the computer to edit my voice to sound electronic or something.

The songs I wrote were a little generic because I didn't feel like posting or singing my more complex songs and having to explain what they mean to an audience who would not understand them right off the bat. But what I am going for is a futuristic/science fiction style to my music. Not anything necessarily childlike.

This has to be one of the more varied communities of listeners that I have run across..so I wouldn't worry about having to explain yourself... Seriously have you been into the indie threads at all? or even the Captain Beefheart thread...

futuristic eh... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM

or more like this...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViB5nnPRuYo

and Toby Mac the christian guy?

seriously though love if you really want help you have to put yourself out there with the real stuff... not the stuff you have on hand....

I have two examples of future/science fiction I want to achieve.

Song 1, which I posted in the original post: Dreams of an Absolution Music and Lyrics - YouTube

Song 2: Powerman 5000 - Supernova Goes Pop - YouTube

Yes, Toby Mac the Christian guy.

And I understand about putting myself out there with the real stuff.

Also, I think everyone deserves to know this thread is a work in progress. It will probably go on for years while I study college and get better, and you people will be here to see my transformation as I post new updates, new singing, and begin composing music.

This is pretty exciting. I'm going to be able to say I was there at the beginning.

Jansz don't you be like that.

I actually kind of like your minimal lyrics. Very dry/wry and like little notebook jottings, so it gives an impressionistic impression, in a way. It feels very honest and self aware, though some people aren't into that.

Animal Collective have a similar, very simplistic style in a sense, if you want to check out some of their stuff, though they are also very obscure and psychedelic. This reminds me more of punk rock, but they're into post-punk cats like Pavement (they were totally post punk).

New song I wrote - "Pseudo Catastrophic Enemy"

2184, the year the mother ship opened its core. And destroyed the existence, we could see this happening to the Earth from the distance.

Do you believe in UFOs? You'd better go with the flow. But it's too late now. Because now you're all wiped out.

It's like a pseudo comeuppance. It's like an enemy of substance. It's like a catastrophic, enemy that calls it. Psuedo catastrophic enemy that's the fit. Now as you die, you will throw a fit. Darwinian triumph. Get ready to dieumph.

Love! Love! Love! And hate! What is this fate? I told my girl not to stay behind. But now the destiny is signed. Get ready for the radiation, to cause you devastation.

There is still a little hope. Maybe the radiation will make you cope. Maybe you will become a superhero. But your chances are almost zero.

(song x2)

Should have listened to me. Should have listened to me. Now I'm sorry, you will see!