The Sane Psycho's ****posting Odyssey
 

So, I thought we'd have a good old troll journal. Good albums will get negative reviews, bad albums will get positive reviews, and I'll make sure to be an obnoxious ****poster the entire time. I'll do more than album reviews, but for now, here's a review of one of my IRL favorites.

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Weezer- The Blue Album

Hahaha more like the GAY Album, amirite? Lol. Did you know Weezer back then didn't have the legendary status they now undeservedly enjoy? Yeah, they got mocked by true rockers for being a shameful corporate alternative band. Don't let the revisionist history fool you. All their songs are sissy pop crap, and Rivers Homo, I mean Cuomo whines about girls like a wussy 14 year old. What a bunch of nerds. Look at that awful cover. They look like the kids who deservedly got bullied and had no friends in high school. Lmao, who wants to listen to these beta male soyboy losers? What a bunch of cucks. For that, I give this garbage album a score of 0/10.

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10/10

I'll be sure to check that out. I will take recommendations in this journal, but make sure it's available on YouTube or you provide a download link or something, because I don't feel like spending money just for the sake of ****posting. In the meantime, here's a review of Pinkerton.

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Weezer- Pinkerton

Ugh. What a cringy album. This is another example of revisionist history winning yet again. You see, this album was pretty hated in it's own time. Critics gave it mediocre to negative reviews. Even the pathetic losers who actually liked Weezer hated this one for it's shift in sound and songwriting and even voted it Rolling Stone's third worst album of 1996. Now it's considered a masterpiece and one of the all time best albums. How the **** did that happen?

Funny thing about this album is that it wasn't even supposed to be their 2nd record. They originally were working on an album titled Songs From The Black Hole, a sci fi rock opera/concept album supposed to feature six different singers playing different characters with songs about relationships and disillusionment with the rock star lifestyle. However, after getting some leg surgery while attending Harvard, Grand Dictator Cuomo lost interest in the idea lost interest in the project even though everyone else on board wanted to go through with it. And thus, Pinkerton was born, with some of the material from SFTBH like Tired Of Sex and No Other One making their way onto the new album. He made the song The Good Life about his surgery and sang about wanting to get laid, which directly contradicts his desires in Tired Of Sex.

Remember how I complained about The Blue Album being sissy pop crap? Well, Pinkerton is more of that, only with a more "raw, noisy, dark" sound. Yeah, that's not pretentious hipster bull**** at all, oh no. Way to copy In Utero, guys. Oh, and Rivers Homo still whines about girls like a pansy 14 year old nerd, only to a much higher extreme. Seriously, all these songs are pathetic ramblings about failed relationships, being an awkward loser with low self esteem and anxiety, and not being able to talk to girls. I can see why this album became an influential landmark to gay emo bands. Cuomo also has an unhealthy Japanese fetish, as seen in songs like El Scorcho, Falling For You, and especially Across The Sea. The latter song, by the way, was written about a Japanese high school girl that Cuomo fell in love and became obsessed with after sending him some fan mail despite never meeting her. So in addition to being a weeaboo, he's also a stalker and possibly a pedophile? Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick. I seriously can't continue reviewing this. Let me just end this by saying this is the worst pile of **** I've ever heard in my life. -10/10

well i definitely cringed while reading that so maybe you’re onto something

Thank you good sir. Keep in mind this is a troll journal. Pinkerton is actually my all time favorite album, but in the spirit of the journal, I have to act like it's the worst trash I've ever listened to. I'm glad I made you cringe though. It means I'm succeeding in my ****posting endeavors.

****post on my man

I’m confused. Is it ok to like Weezer or not?

Yes

It would be highly amusing to me (and absolutely no one else) if you did this:

Okay, one more album review before I switch it up a bit.

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Alice In Chains- Dirt

Have you ever wanted to hear a generic metal album with the most basic of riffs? Have you ever wanted to hear a lead singer that sounds like he's taking it in the ass 24/7? Have you ever wanted to listen to a pathetic junkie cry about despair, depression, addiction, suicidal thoughts, and self loathing? Have you ever wanted to hear a crappy band that inspired countless even crappier bands? Well now you can! Obviously a cynical cash in that rode the so called "grunge" movement, Dirt unleashed an uninspired Sabbath/Melvins clone on the masses. This is the definition of boring dad metal. You know those sad losers who feel sorry for themselves and want everyone else to feel sorry for them too? This is that in an album format. I will give it points because the vocal harmonies are a cool idea, if poorly executed, and I can't deny their influence. Still though, this is a metal album for posers who think Disturbed and Five Finger Death Punch are actually heavy.

3/10

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Waluigi is fucking sexy. There, I said it. That lanky frame? Totally cute in a dorky kind of way. Adorkable, you could say. He's definitely got a strong jawline too, and have you ever seen a more debonair mustache? I know I haven't. He may have a cocky attitude, but that just means he oozes confidence and machismo. And if a man ain't got confidence, he ain't worth your time. Unless you're a controlling person, you manipulative bitch. His teeth are perfect, which is always a good quality to look for. And did I mention that dope purple and black color scheme with just a touch of yellow? Dis nigga be pimpin'! I would fuck Waluigi. We would be inside each other's buttholes all day and all night.

What I like about this is that it's a ****post that Nick would have said almost word for word completely in earnest.

You know, I wasn't even thinking about Nick when I wrote that, but you're totally right. As is the theme of this journal, I actually really love that album.

What do you think of their new single, "The One You Know"?

I'm not a big AIC fan, but I really like that song. I think it's got some great hooks and guitar riffs.

Now time for some jokes.

Did you know that Kurt Cobain wasn't fond of superheroes, but he was partial to heroins.

He also isn't very good at handling pressure. He's known to lose his head in stressful situations. Don't tell him I said that though. He tends to blow things out of proportion.

Why doesn't Kurt Cobain drive? He prefers riding shotgun.

Man, MicShazam got banned? He was one of my favorite members.

Fuck Radiohead. Pablo Honey is their only good album, and The Bends is the only other album in their discography to even reach mediocre. Boring bleep bloop music for losers. I still can't fathom why pretentious hipster douchebags hail them as gods of music when it just puts. If you want a late '90s album that was incredibly influential in its style of music and is actually enjoyable to listen to and will endure as an all time classic centuries from now, ...Baby One More Time by Britney Spears is far superior to OK Computer.