Thoughts: This in no way induces me to drink wine or engage in any form of revelry.

Release info: Cassette only in 1988 (ZSF).

Thoughts: Drink copious amounts of cheap gin at the weekend and pretend you're still at work!

Release info: This is a live recording to cassette only (V2_ / V209).

Thoughts: What is ugly? Vain repetition, for starters. I closed my eyes and let the music do its work: it stifled and oppressed my spirit, and it drained from my heart's core all my happiness.

Release info: They made a handmade cassette in Australia in 1982 (Terse / TRS822) before re-issuing it on cassette again in 1984 (Red Flame / IT 00A). Then a CD-R was released in 2002 (Sevcom).

Thoughts: I once won this sweepstakes thing, and among other things in the prize package was a box of instant brownies. Having a loving wife who knows her way around the kitchen, I passed these boxed brownies off to my friend who was yoked to a shrew. He told me later that he enjoyed the brownies, and I just inwardly cringed. I guess if you don't know any better, you're going to think they taste good. Boxed brownies: a metaphor for an entire relationship.

Release info: Released on cassette only (M Squared / M200C5).

Thoughts: Can you stop sucking a butt?

Release info: Released on vinyl LP (Vis a Vis / VLP-009).

Thoughts: Abstract, experimental noise isn't good for the digestion...unless you're a malfunctioning robot.

Release info: Vinyl 12" gatefold sleeve (Selektion / SLP 019).

Thoughts: Slowly (I mean really slowly) walking up and down long, empty corridors, searching for the source of that quiet hum. And then, throwing open a door, you find the Machine and cry out in terror--but your cries are swallowed by the Noise of the Machine.

Release info: Limited edition cassette in 1984 (Graf Haufen / GHT-28) and then a numbered edition vinyl LP in 2005 (Individual VOD / VODI-04).

Thoughts: I became instantly sad (but in a good way) the moment this haunting music started.

Release info: Limited edition cassette (ADN / ADN TAPES 23).

Thoughts: Fifty lucky people got their faces bombed in 1979.

Release info: Very limited edition cassette (Illusion / IP 001), but then ruined the mystique by re-issuing it on CD in 2010 (Illusion / IP 050).

Thoughts: This is you getting packed so tightly in Styrofoam that no one remembers you, and even your dog cannot save you. Don't worry, though. The packing is so slow and torturous a process that you have plenty of time to hear your own end.

Release info: Initially released on numbered edition vinyl LP (ZSF / SH62-01) but then ruined with re-releases on CD in 1994 (Distemper / DISTEMPER 001) and then further degraded by a vinyl release in 2015 (Menstrualrecordings / LH66).