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-   -   MB Metal Classics: "Into Glory Ride" by Manowar (

Trollheart 05-14-2018 10:20 AM

MB Metal Classics: "Into Glory Ride" by Manowar

It's Monday! Time to sharpen that sword and bow down to one of the most awesome and epic metal albums of all time (do you not think that's laying it on a little thick, Batty? No? All right then: you're the boss. Oh no wait: I am. Still, I agree) - DEATH TO FALSE METAL! :D

The Batlord 05-14-2018 10:30 AM

First the cons: the opener is completely out of sync with the rest of the album I imagine because the band was nervous starting out with a song like "Secret of Steel", the album is pretty samey otherwise, and yeah "Hatred" has a novel atmosphere but is a tedious song.

Now that that's out of the way OMG THIS ALBUM GANGS AND BANGS. "Warlord" is an odd choice for an opener but it's also classic low class Manowar with the most cringe-inducingly hilarious intro (only Manowar could get away with making light of statutory rape); "Secret of Steel", "Gloves of Metal", and "March for Revenge" are god tier and most of the rest are at least awesome; and I don't think these dudes get nearly enough credit for such a unique and dare I say groundbreaking sound. They made doom metal that wasn't doom metal and was more Conan than anything other than Conan. Was also my first Manowar album so the nostalgia is strong with this one. An easy 10.

And that ****ing video for "Gloves of Metal" smh lol.

MicShazam 05-14-2018 11:44 AM

Am I just blind or is the album not on Spotify?

Found this hopefully complete youtube playlist, but the sound quality isn't great:

The Batlord 05-14-2018 11:55 AM

Yeah that's complete.

MicShazam 05-14-2018 11:57 AM

Good. Then I don't have to go hunting wabbits.

Trollheart 05-14-2018 12:19 PM


Originally Posted by MicShazam (Post 1950761)
Am I just blind or is the album not on Spotify?

Found this hopefully complete youtube playlist, but the sound quality isn't great:

You're not blind. Apparently there's very little Manowar there. I mean, Battle Hymns is there but not Hail to England? WTF???

Frownland 05-14-2018 12:19 PM

Rated a 1 because this is the big sux

MicShazam 05-14-2018 12:51 PM

I've never actually listened to much Manowar, and certainly not a whole album. Full disclosure: Not a fan of what I have heard. I kind of got used to thinking of them as "that ridiculously cheesy macho power metal band".

They do take that whole muscular Frank Frazetta ideal of a man to ridiculous new heights, when you pile on the lyrics about riding into battle, hardening steel, oiled up six-packs and tightening buns in loincloths and... Isn't it interesting, that when you take ideas of what it means to be manly to such extremes, it ends up being quite homo-erotic? Gays are stereotyped as being weak, feminine, slender and totally opposite what a "real" man is supposed to be, yet there's hardly anything more (un?)intentionally homoerotic than a Manowar band photo, despite (or because of) all the attempts at living up to the ideal of a real manly man. These guys should have toured gays bars in the 80's. They would have been a smash hit within that scene.

I wanna call the music on this album ridiculous, but then I played the devil's advocate with myself and asked if all metal isn't ridiculous when you really look at it honestly. Didn't have a good comeback, so I guess I can't fault Manowar for that.

This album consists, only slightly unusually, of just 7 songs. Things start of entertaining enough, and I didn't mind the first 3 tracks. There's some fun riffs and I really think that this band has a unique riffing style. Doesn't really sound like any other heavy- or power-metal act of the time. It's kind of like a more knuckle-dragging version of NWOBHM, but with some odd sequences of notes and phrasings in the riffs. It makes the music a bit more interesting than it would have otherwise been.

Then I get to track 4, "Gates of Valhalla", and this is where the album starts to unravel for me. Starts off harmlessly enough, if a bit weak in the riff department and with an overlong, kind of dull vocal intro. I hate the ending of this track. I can get along with the over the top vocal approach of this guy until we get to this point.

Track 5, "Hatred", has a really melodic musical section that comes back a few times where the singer goes absolutely bananas and ... I feel like it's kind of bad? The worst part starts at 4:25. Judge for yourself. Makes my ears want to tear themselves loose and run away.

After that, there's nothing too offensive, but nothing too memorable either. I feel like the album was fun enough to listen to and sporadically interesting, so I can't say that I hate it outright. But... not gonna be able to give a very high score either.

Voted 4. Possibly being nice, but I can't tell.
I did have fun with the first 3 tracks, so that's gotta count for something.
The singer is also good, he just chooses to be too over the top too often.
Or over the top in the wrong way, I guess.

At least it was an experience.

Trollheart 05-14-2018 01:11 PM

If you don't like "Gates of Valhalla" you must die. There just is no other option.

MicShazam 05-14-2018 01:16 PM

It's spotwise allright-ish. It's Hatred that I'd like to bury at the center of a big, dark forest.

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