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Showing results 1 to 7 of 7
Search took 0.00 seconds. Search: Posts Made By: PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 09-28-2008, 10:27 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
This isn't that good, but you've written a lot of...

This isn't that good, but you've written a lot of good stuff.

Captain Caveman - Maybe you could be less of a **** and contribute something meaningful?
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 08-31-2008, 10:15 AM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
You're welcome. Lol. MWAH.

You're welcome. Lol. MWAH.
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 08-24-2008, 04:36 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
I'll crit for clit...oh, not what you meant :-P.

I'll crit for clit...oh, not what you meant :-P.
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 08-20-2008, 07:33 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
Both the three line stanzas are cliche and add...

Both the three line stanzas are cliche and add nothing to the poem.

I'd change the first two stanzas like so:

I know what it's like.
To hurt when you smile.
When it's 82 degree humidity,
and...
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 08-16-2008, 03:40 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
fIEnd. You switched the i and the e.

fIEnd. You switched the i and the e.
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 08-16-2008, 03:36 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
fiend. Feign is to fake something. Fiend is...

fiend. Feign is to fake something. Fiend is pronounced feend. Feign is pronounced fayn. I'm putting something up if you'd look at it, that'd be nice.
Forum: Song Writing, Lyrics and Poetry 08-16-2008, 03:17 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 12,330
Posted By PaperHurricanesAndPlanes
Wonderful. But you misspelled fiend. Other than...

Wonderful. But you misspelled fiend. Other than that, an awesome piece. Ginsberg-esque. Don't capitalize like that, though.
Showing results 1 to 7 of 7

 
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