Magicl or Merriment
 

Magical or merriment

Magical or merriment
I can give you what you want
If you give me what I need

Whatever you want
I'll give it
What ever i need
Must have it

If you know the rules
Then lets begin
I need something sacred
Of yours, everthing has a price

Magical or merriment
I have your truth
You need my answers

Anything of value makes the pay
the price will be high
do you truly want it?
Its a pearl of great price

Magical or Merriment
If you truly what the wisdom
You gotta pay the price

Magical or Merriment
Soft glowing thoughts
For red crimson eyes

Can you pay the cost
Your blood could pour
On the stones of sacrifice
Can you deal with the price

Can you deel with the truth
The bibed fox loves to play its tricks
Will you see through the illusion
Or shall it over come you?

When the truth is known
And the illusion fades
Where will you be
If you price is payed

Magical or merriment
Like all that is a fantasy
Life is but a vantiy

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got the idea reading XxXHolic by Clamp
it's a manga

it's good

This one was ok. On the positive side, the more unexpected phrases were good and mostly seemed like ones which sound good when spoken/sung too. On the negative side, the first three verses/paragraphs (whatever you call them) were too vague, they didn't create enough interest or give me enough direction from which to read the rest of the lyric. Once I'd read it through once though and then re-read it, it made more sense.

So my suggestion would be re-write it slightly to give a bit more direction at the beginning, write something a bit more interesting in the first 8 lines to catch people's attention and to give them a better starting block from which to run through the rest of the lyric.

That's just my opinion of course!

its alright, its my first one with out collaberation, my other one whwere with my "girl friend" as some would probaly call her, they are all decent.

"Can you deel with the truth
The bibed fox loves to play its tricks
Will you see through the illusion
Or shall it over come you?"

Misspelled deal but that is irrelevant. I like this line. Is it supposed to be bribed? anywho, nice idea with the illusion.

it an allusion to japanese myths suronding the diety Inari, the God/Goddess(it has both genders) of rice, illusions, magic, children,and foxes. represented as a fox with a bib on its neck

ah bibed. as in a bib. I was pronoucing a long I. gotcha

yeah and it refers to a mythological trckster and if you play his/her game right you get one of your desires