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riseagainstrocks 10-02-2005 03:37 PM

The Triumphant Return
 
Some new songs for you to read. comments, suggestions, critiques welcome.


This Time It’s Time

Timing really is everything
It is the purveyor of our lives
Our biorhythmic standard

wars are fought for time
children put to the sword
seems the only true escape from time is through the sword

The moon is the ultimate
The embodiement of time
Showing us that all things pass
And steals the light from our souls

Begin the systematic slaughter of the faithful
Now is their untimely demise
Synchronize your watches

With heavy hearts we fight
And rage against the night

Chronophagia is my corrupted exsanguation



But seriously, I hate snakes Jacque


This is imperative
Monochromasticism is getting old

Hold up the last star you saw (it’s light permeating the sickly air) by moonlight we march in awe (our silhouettes faint under heaven’s stare)

I am merely immortal
The damage to the bridge is critical
Sound the general alarm, we’re in a dive
I’ll live through this but making friends is getting difficult

This is imperative
Apollo’s fiery steeds have died
The sun has no warmth let alone light


I am merely immortal

sleepy jack 10-02-2005 03:40 PM

The first one seems metal like with the sword lines...which is uber cool yoz.i had to look up some of the words in the dictionary which is always good.I like the 'I am merely immortal' part in the second songs lotsly...haha this is probaly a useless posttt awwh well!they were good.

IamAlejo 10-04-2005 07:55 PM

Really like the second one. It flows well, and is just beautiful to read. Especially the "Hold up the last star you saw (it’s light permeating the sickly air) by moonlight we march in awe (our silhouettes faint under heaven’s stare)" lines.

The first one I'm almost indifferent to. The "wars are fought for time
children put to the sword
seems the only true escape from time is through the sword" lines really confuse the **** out of me.

Seems like you are trying to symbolize something, yet you have to explain it to an extent where it's not symbolism. Don't know if that makes sense to you...it's hard for me to put my finger on it.

riseagainstrocks 10-05-2005 05:33 PM

The first one was inspired after reading some of Buried Insides lyrics from the cd Chronoclast.

the line about putting children to the sword was a refrence to the Macebee's and how instead of surrenduring to the Roman's man, woman, and child all committed suicide. Their time had run out.

yeah my symbolism is kinda hidden. and by kinda i mean very.

Scarlett O'Hara 10-06-2005 06:29 PM

I really liked the second one. I think for the common folk, like me, would need to see your symbolism a little clearer, but keep it up!

sleepy jack 10-06-2005 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla
I really liked the second one. I think for the common folk, like me, would need to see your symbolism a little clearer, but keep it up!

I think it should stay extremely hard to figure out that way everyone thinks hes a genius.

Scarlett O'Hara 10-06-2005 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MIsfitspunk
I think it should stay extremely hard to figure out that way everyone thinks hes a genius.

Ok, as long as he can explain what it means afterwards?

sleepy jack 10-06-2005 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vanilla
Ok, as long as he can explain what it means afterwards?

But but the mysteriousness is fun!


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