Fear and delight
 

Fear and delight

my myrth* diminished
my sadist soars
your sorrowful wishes
open my doors

your cries they echo
from the pits very bottom
my hearts crecendo*
it must not be trodden

the silver kiss
a poison so sudden
death comes swift
never begrudging

pains come slowly
they're colors blod red
they pour upon you
tearing you to shreds

the second wind* comes
the catalyst of night
a boundles fantasia*
my starless delight

spellbound impetus*
my soliace in love
a terrible siren*
an impious dove

nightmarish shade
fear and delight
an innate facination
is all made right

a senile dream
our thoughts intersect
a stalemated* triumph
my heart stands erect

my nimble hands
your attention they hold
don't ever worry
our secrets aren't told

hate and love
they're only a tiff*
they're zeniths right
just alittle rift
_____________________________________

*= need definitions

in order:

Myrth - happiness

crecendo- gain in volume(in hearing) coming to a climax

second wind- rebreath, second coming, regaining

fantasia- melody without a set pattern, no patten of form

impetus- the force in which the body move aginst restitance( use you imagination)

stalemate - no winner, in chess when no move can be made

tiff - a small argument

bump

Thats interesting

So what was your inspiration behind it?

Makes a change from the usual 'i hate myself' stuff thats usually posted in here

Way to depressin no offense but it needs to be happier. I suppose its ok, it flows nicely. The expanded vocabulary was good. But still its way depressing which kind of ruins it.


Another thing don't bump, delete your post and bump again.

its violent not depressing , it was base on some music by dir en grey.

please misfits, don't make small of something you know you like. or your just jealous because i can write better?

Better writer? That was an arrogant statement, also uncalled for. I was giving my view and opinion on the song/poem. I thought it was too dark. I stand by it being ok.

What's with the definitions? Seems really pretentious* considering most of your vocabularly was poorly utilized*.

pretentious - attempting to impress by affecting greater importance, talent, culture, etcetera, than is actually possessed

utilized - made practical and effective use of

i would crit this... but pretentious is about the right word...

dear lord... definitions... how bout looking up mirth... i dunno where you are, but i think you should spell a word right if youre gonna make a big deal about your advanced vocabulary, you also forget to define some of the words you put the star on... dont worry, i know what a siren is... oh and eughkckpaoidf*

*new word i just made up to describe my disappointment in both the quality of writing/ critiques on this forum, as well as the disgust i feel when reading how egotistical a person can be, especially when there song makes little to no sense, even with spelling corrections

you need to work on the rhyming, which once again seems forced. You also have no means of connecting with readers, as alot of it doesnt make all that much sense, and there seems to be little or no attempt to get away from the cliches with some kind of imagery or metaphor or something.

nice job!!! *puts gun to head*

Who are you on MX creepinson?

gabbahey there we go... lol i got banned till thursday or something

either way, i put them because in other forums use of word people don't under stand(yes there are those ignorant enougth to ask what they mean)
fussed because they did not know, and in poetry all word are fair game to be used how ever you wish to use them, so long as the flow is not disturbed.

trust me i get awards for my poetry.

Poetry.com must love you.

trust me, i dont know whether to laugh or cry

well i don't just winn them on the internet, i win them at school, and in competitions in state.

that was pretty much implied... and the fact that you got an A on your haiku in grade 7 doesnt always translate into a life time of poetic excellence

I am all about giving a person the benefit of the doubt, but Ma Cherie... when you come into a place looking down your nose at people, you aren't going to get a red carpet welcome. If someone asks you what a word means, they are trying to learn so they can read your lyrics/poetry. Calling them ignorant because they didn't have a thesaurus or dictionary handy is ignorant in itself.

It is also obvious that you use a thesaurus because you do not use some of the words correctly- and since a thesaurus doesn't have situational sentence structures you aren't able to look up how they are used.

While you may or may not have won these "poetry competitions" - that doesn't make you a better writer than anyone based on that fact alone. Not everyone in the world enters their writing into competitions. Furthermore, why should we believe that you have won these "competitions" - you can barely use the words correctly, let alone spell them correctly.

Sorry, Ma Cherie, you've just lost the respect of the people you call upon to critique your work. Try a different approach next time, eh gov?

:clap:

you make my snide remark seem so much less snide

eh gov? genius... just genius

hah! ON the contrary creep! Your remark is like a punch to the solar plexus and leaves the victim struggling for air. Mine is like a slow moving poison that takes the person down slowly and then delivers the final message. Both are efficient, but yours is so much more spectacular to watch!

Did anyone else notice we have the most queer selection of smilies known to man?

tecnically, you vindictive anger have no effect, i do not get just As on haiku, i have pleanty of other things, and no i'm not looking down at misfits, he just always rude to me so i gave him some back, and wether or not i use thesaurus or a diction ary has no meaning to what i write, it is about what flows, and forms for the nothingness of the words where thet ten thousands things flow together.

not looking down my nose it the 5th song i have posted., the others were deleted when i left the second time.
i'm not snobbish it just that i get angered when people get offened by the darkness of what i write.
i never want to write a happy ending to a song because it defeats my purpose of writeing in the first place to get the anger, hate rage, saddness, and pain out of my system in order to funtion proficiently

Im sorry, I thought you posted it for people give opinions on, I keep forgetting people in here seem to hate any opinion that isn't praising it and or kissing your ass.

http://thebrianpeppersong.ytmnd.com/
LOKK WHAT I FOUND ETHAN hahahahahahahahah

Its delightfully fearful

now thats a little "brood", dont you think. Only a few do that, others(including me) take in all the opinions(good or bad).