My Bad song titled "65th Floor"
This is my first song I have written. I dont think its very good
Please give me your opinion. Its going through his head over and over again he says the time is now to end it all He is thinking about his family his Wife and his two sons his freinds and his parents when his gone CHORUS His looking out the window of the 65th floor his ready to say goodbye to the world and end it all well his looking out the window of the 65th floor his ready to say goodbye and end it all As he walks up the stairs to his appartment room door he conts the steps on his way he opens the door and he walks in the room hes going to leave the world his own way CHORUS Well he walks out to the balcony and he takes a deep breath Takes a last look at the World he knew and he steps up on the balconys ledge He says goodbye and falls down to his death CHORUS Well there it is my very bad song. |
Everyone sucks when they start, like one of my first songs contained the line "Were all just living to die so lets slit our wrists and cry" =P and for your first its good. Normally suicide is cliche, but writing about the typical middle age man jumping off the building isn't really.
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Do you think its apropriate for a 14 year old to write this kind of song. Cause thats my age
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Yes, its good for your age.
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Thanks
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I think it's very good for your first try, but the spelling mistakes kinda makes it hard on the eyes, but that has nothing to do with the music. ;)
Yea, it's definatly not cliche by any means, but, I think you should state why he is killing himself in the song. |
yeah its good your 14 cause ur going thru your whole teenage 'life sucks' thing. an adult writing stuff like that...well thats real depression
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Meh. Its okay. Nothing special. Can't see why you would post it-you may aswell make a real good one then post it.
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Yea but, hobo, the whole reason people post in here is 'cause they want to make the song better ;)
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Quote:
fixed it a lil bit, just giving ideas damn depressing though |
I know people post in this one for people to make songs better. But he said he thought it was bad himself. So why post a song you know is bad? Just create a new one that's good.
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to make it good with the help of others....
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I posted loads of songs when I came on that I knew were bad. I was told to go and make a good one. I did, and they were better. I came back on and got some good help that made me better. If he/she does this, then maybe he/she will end up writing a really good song, instead of an average one. I'm just giving MY opinion, that's all. You aren't going to change it, so no point in arguing.
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i think hobo is right. although that is a kind of bad way to start of your thread-my bad song, cause then everyone is just gonna flame you.
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I think the reason he/she titled it that was basically being humble. And also to cover him/herself if he/she got a beating.
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yeah. i think that they really had no idea whether or not the song would be accepted as could or not so they just put up that title as a cover. which is what you just said right?
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yeah. And now we're spamming. oh well. My post count will be pleased.
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