Happiness Is The Tragedy
 

Not sure on this poem. Screw homophobes.

Happiness Is The Tragedy

“I love you,” were his last words to him
Before he fell into a deep sleep.
No, not death, just fatigue.
And the stars in their eyes, were perfectly aligned.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put two men together.

She put her hands around her waist,
And kissed her on the lips.
And held her, ever, so gently.
Their love drips, freely from every pore.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put two women together.

Your hate, and your vicious placards, won’t stop a thing.
If showing love means breaking the law, then so be it.
You can scream at us through one corner of your mouth,
And tell your kids to stop having sex out of the other corner.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put us together.

You can tell your constituents all humans matter.
And then use your pocket bible to justify hating us.
Maybe one day you can teach me,
To be as hypocritical as thee, and not get caught.

Happiness is the tragedy you get when you put us together.

The newscaster can breeze through a hate crime,
“Homosexuals sodomized and beaten behind a club, and now sports,”
And say, that they’re fair and balanced.


Yeah, thee doesn't fit at the end. No I don't care.

:hphones: :hphones:

Whats the meaning behind it? Is it trying to convey that society looks down upon homosexual/lesbian relationships?

Can't slip anything past you, can I? Lol. I'll probably be adding to this. I just wanted an opinion on what I had. And now...for crits.

"And tell your kids to stop having sex with the other." Is kind of a weak way to end that verse.

Also take out the first happiness is the tragedy you get when you put us together, so it doesn't get overly repetitive.

*bolds the us so you know which one hes talking about*

The whole thing just sounds like a democrat trying to bitch and moan. That aside, the "Fair and balanced" line is extremely played out these days. Its Fox News' slogan, their right wing, we get it. It was IMO better before you edited it and added the last 3 verses. It loses meaning when you bring all the political BS into it.

Yeah, but you're republican.

Right...because they're so unrelated.

It's merely coming from a compassionate. The political stuff is there only because it is relevant to the problem. Like the whole anti-gay marriage thing...Family values suck. I'm sick and tired of that shit.

I'm no democrat either. I hate democrats, and republicans. They're both idiots. Jello for president!

And youre *gasp* trying to get a rise out of me:beer:


In all seriousness, the first 2 verses are good, the rest is sh*te.

Yes. The first 2 verses are clean and pure. They are pro love, not anti-republican like the rest of it. Love>Politics.

It's not anti-republican, it's anti-homophobia. What the hell do you mean clean and pure? I can't talk about politics because it's impure? That's just fucking stupid.

No, it is the truth. But its your poem/song/whatever so its up to you. Im just offering some constructive criticism, which you asked for.

Nah, what you're offering is your bush loving bible brainwashed opinion.

Not happenin' lil buddy. Find someone else to argue with:(

Unforunately, I agree, it wasn't very helpful, at all.

Also, the political BS was in it from the beginning, the title itself is a stab at those anti-*** marriage. Maybe if you pull your head out of Pat Robertson's ass, you'll see that.

politics aside lets focus on the song itself. it doesn't seem like really anything more than a few choice sentences to push these issues we already are very aware about. remember music has got to be entertaining, it can't just be whiny, so maybe dress the issues into a narrative form or some more touching.

I'm sorry, did you just call me whiny?

sure did moko.

its like a dont smoke advertisment

I agree that it's a bit whiny. To me it seems whiny because of the persons in which it's written. So much of it is along the lines of "YOU are picking on US". When I read it, the first time I see that something in my mind thinks "well, I am not picking on you*, so this poem is a fiction" and it kind of forces me to switch off.

As I'm not a *** person who is being picked on by somebody for my sexuality, then it isn't going to connect with me at all when you've written it from that perspective. So, once again, I also see it as whiny.

What I'd suggest is that you could change it around so that the person in the poem is the one who is picking on the *** people.

Such as,

"My hate, and my vicious placards, don't see to stop anything.
Showing love means breaking the law, yet they say "so be it".
I scream at them through one corner of my mouth,
And tell my kids to stop having sex with the other."

Which I think makes it more interesting.

BTW, I italicised a bit which I found very funny because it insinuated that the person's kids were having sex with one side of the person's mouth. Bahahaha.

The "you" doesn't always, and in fact RARELY refers to the reader, in my experience.

Oh, my bad. I hadn't realised you were such a seasoned pro. Maybe you could offer an explanation for why I can't get into your poem, don't feel a connection with it and don't feel affected at all by what I assume is its intended message then?

Ouch. Cold. I was just saying. In a lot of the poetry I read, the reader plays no part in the plot of the poem it self.

In the majority of punk lyrics you doesn't refer to the reader, example: Hollywood Cemetery by Strike Anywhere.