Into a Sea of Solemnity (history, Lute, Hang)

Trauma · 02-07-2007, 05:15 PM

“Into a Sea of Solemnity”

Watch me flounder
I have unconsciously paced my steps in the rhythm of a dark ocean
With its waves crashing
Resounding in my sinews and disturbing this moonlight sleep promenade
Even though such a cold tide only reaches my ankles
It will slow me down
Completely annihilating any false sense of security I had ever obtained in my slow walk
This nightly journey to whatever place that arises in mind and appeals to foot
Maybe these feet had already changed the course they were taking
Long before my mind, the tyrant slave master, had ever approved the decision
No, the body mirrors Gaia and functions as one
There are no split ends in its fragments that might disagree with other sections
Perhaps I was venturing, through the history of my existence, toward this very sea, to view its resolute black aura, or for some other blind logic
Regardless, I am now ambushed by a desolate mirth
That cascades down my legs and makes already weary eyes sore with repetitious colours and textures; patterns
In a moment of dreams my back will turn
To face a malicious scowl kindly presented by the creeping waters
Increasing in depth and drowning any sense of spirit my righteous conscience might have left
Before an overbearing hopelessness overflows my veins, pours out my nose, seeps through my tear ducts, and soaks into my heart
A translucent vision will appear in my third optic nerve
Foreshadowing what will come as an extrapolation of what has passed
Preventing solemn slumber at the bottom of the sea
Stoic soul will save my mind
Before fate has arrived and paid its just desserts
When I finally contemplate the extenuating circumstances that will lead to my demise
The future will behold to mine eyes an oncoming sepulcher of loss
And that same being will say in its omnipotent voice
“This is where your life will lead you”
Determining my course is the force that found its way to me
Long before high tide

-Jake

sleepy jack · 02-08-2007, 02:39 AM

I don't know if i've said this but your writing reminds me alot of saetia in parts, which is a good thing because they write some of the best stuff i've ever seen.

I love that ending.

Trauma · 02-08-2007, 04:37 PM

Gosh I hope I don't write like him.
"Smile that icy blue smile, there is no happy here"
**** that.

Thank you for the comment though.
These past couple have just been free verse, I'll do one with a rhyme scheme tonight maybe.

sleepy jack · 02-09-2007, 04:30 AM

Pfft, I meant the actual good stuff like Venus And Bacchus and Ariadne's Thread.

Trauma · 02-09-2007, 04:22 PM

Okay, not total bullshit then.

Crowe · 02-09-2007, 06:08 PM

Cool Snickers, a sprawling and uninterrupted flow of thought is what it seems like - like you are just sitting there talking conversationally, except instead of lamen's talking - it's poetry! Post more please.

Trauma · 02-09-2007, 06:22 PM

Thank you, you minus quill.
Much love to both of you.

02-07-2007, 05:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Into a Sea of Solemnity “Into a Sea of Solemnity” Watch me flounder I have unconsciously paced my steps in the rhythm of a dark ocean With its waves crashing Resounding in my sinews and disturbing this moonlight sleep promenade Even though such a cold tide only reaches my ankles It will slow me down Completely annihilating any false sense of security I had ever obtained in my slow walk This nightly journey to whatever place that arises in mind and appeals to foot Maybe these feet had already changed the course they were taking Long before my mind, the tyrant slave master, had ever approved the decision No, the body mirrors Gaia and functions as one There are no split ends in its fragments that might disagree with other sections Perhaps I was venturing, through the history of my existence, toward this very sea, to view its resolute black aura, or for some other blind logic Regardless, I am now ambushed by a desolate mirth That cascades down my legs and makes already weary eyes sore with repetitious colours and textures; patterns In a moment of dreams my back will turn To face a malicious scowl kindly presented by the creeping waters Increasing in depth and drowning any sense of spirit my righteous conscience might have left Before an overbearing hopelessness overflows my veins, pours out my nose, seeps through my tear ducts, and soaks into my heart A translucent vision will appear in my third optic nerve Foreshadowing what will come as an extrapolation of what has passed Preventing solemn slumber at the bottom of the sea Stoic soul will save my mind Before fate has arrived and paid its just desserts When I finally contemplate the extenuating circumstances that will lead to my demise The future will behold to mine eyes an oncoming sepulcher of loss And that same being will say in its omnipotent voice “This is where your life will lead you” Determining my course is the force that found its way to me Long before high tide -Jake __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

02-08-2007, 04:37 PM	#3 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Gosh I hope I don't write like him. "Smile that icy blue smile, there is no happy here" **** that. Thank you for the comment though. These past couple have just been free verse, I'll do one with a rhyme scheme tonight maybe. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

02-09-2007, 04:22 PM	#5 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Okay, not total bullshit then. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño

02-09-2007, 06:08 PM	#6 (permalink)
Crowe Music Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 699	Cool Snickers, a sprawling and uninterrupted flow of thought is what it seems like - like you are just sitting there talking conversationally, except instead of lamen's talking - it's poetry! Post more please. __________________

02-09-2007, 06:22 PM	#7 (permalink)
Trauma snickers Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: detroit Posts: 2,194	Thank you, you minus quill. Much love to both of you. __________________ A mi no me importa nada Para mi la vida es un sueño