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Sneer 02-15-2007 02:55 PM

Rendered Immobile
 
Rendered immobile
Flummoxed with grief
Discordant retentions of blasé belief
Pious ramblings
Bludgeoned till dead
A nuance of grey coats the richest of red.
Haughty delinquents
Splattered in blame
Seeds of denial cloud the towers of shame
Banal resistance
Fades once again
The tumult subsides all efforts invain.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes 02-15-2007 03:47 PM

What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

right-track 02-15-2007 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes (Post 336654)
What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

From someone who's 'location' is "In The Realms of Poetry" to call this pretentious and to say it bores...is a tad rich.

Try reading 3 lines at a time, then attempt to understand what Stu has gone to the trouble of posting.

Baby steps, PaperHurricanesAndPlanes...baby steps. ;)

ZeppelinAir 02-15-2007 04:50 PM

i like it, it has a dark feel to it and it flows pretty well. you should do more like this one

skindredluver 02-15-2007 04:56 PM

I dont know what its about but I like the ryhming

Sneer 02-15-2007 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes (Post 336654)
What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

dont call me pretentious when you quote your own poetry in your signature.

PaperHurricanesAndPlanes 02-15-2007 05:46 PM

Hey, I didn't quote my own poetry. That's a Bad Religion song. And "Compassion Through Heresy" was a motto before it was a title of one of my poems. How is "In the realms of poetry" pretentious?

Crowe 02-15-2007 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 336710)
dont call me pretentious when you quote your own poetry in your signature.

YEAH! WHO IN THE HELL DOES THAT???

Crowe 02-15-2007 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stu (Post 336620)
Rendered immobile
Flummoxed with grief
Discordant retentions of blasé belief
Pious ramblings
Bludgeoned till dead
A nuance of grey coats the richest of red.
Haughty delinquents
Splattered in blame
Seeds of denial cloud the towers of shame
Banal resistance
Fades once again
The tumult subsides all efforts invain.

I hate that word. Otherwise I enjoy the brief manner of each line... YOU LIKE MY DUBBLE POST GUYZ?

sleepy jack 02-15-2007 10:22 PM

I second that disliking of flummoxed.

Quote:

Originally Posted by PaperHurricanesAndPlanes (Post 336654)
What the hell is this about? It seems way too pretentious, and it bores.

Your critiques are way too pretentious and so arrogant they're almost pointless to read. Seriously, turn the elitism down a notch.


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