The Birmingham Canals
 

Captain of the good ship
"shopping trolley"
I glide gracefully through the dark caves
Beneath Broad Street

Far above, loud landlubbers in strange attire
Their bodies full of grog
Rape and pillage in the modern way
Pirates, every one

But pubs and clubs are not for me
I’m dreaming of the open seas

I navigate the Birmingham canals
I navigate the Birmingham canals

On the footpath a man, both drunk and fat
Drops trousers and urinates into the water
In terror, I perform a quick evasive manoeuvre
And danger is avoided

A used condom floats on an intercept course
Drapes across my forehead
Reminds me of seaweed
Probably not as good for the complexion

I don’t want hepatitis B
I’m dreaming of the open seas

I navigate the Birmingham canals
I navigate the Birmingham canals