Hello, I'm stoned
 

And here is a song


Fetish Love Song


You dressed up as a clown, my love
The makeup did enthrall us
You rubbed and blew that long balloon
And made a model phallus

I was your fetish man
Your fetish man
Your fetish man
I had a fixation on you
Wearing those giant shoes
I ****ing loved it

By this corset lying on my floor
I shall be nevermore embraced
For it was just for your pleasure
That I crushed my organs into a twenty two inch waist

Because I was your fetish man
Your fetish man
Your fetish man
Agreeing to all of your schemes
For I have low self-esteem
And I ****ing loved it

My arms are empty, baby
My heart is broken too
These lips still longing for the touch...
... of your warm and nutty poo*

I was your fetish man
Your fetish man
Your fetish man
Love is learning to share
And I shared in the fruits of your derriere
And I ****ing loved it



*This is a pretty ****ty (pun!) line but I'm loath to remove it because this verse sums up the idea that kick started the song (its a long story and it involves dog food and fish being raped by frogs).

I'm getting to this tomorrow, i'm posting to bump this and so I can remember to get to this.

Besides that fact i'm terrified of clowns, I liked it, it was actually a song.

My girlfriend started screaming when I read this song to her! Then she started crying. Result.

absolutely brilliant.


the first verse made me laugh out loud for a good three minutes, if you ever record this, let me know.

Yeah this was great, but I kind of worry about you reading some of the things you write Tom.




/remembers christmas