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-   -   Jesus Christ I'm Amazing - The poetic updates of a madman (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/37771-jesus-christ-im-amazing-poetic-updates-madman.html)

TheBig3 07-30-2005 07:18 PM

Jesus Christ I'm Amazing - The poetic updates of a madman
 
People who don't give people crtisism shouldn't have their work reviewd. People want help but don't want to give any. Unionize. Don't tolaerate the one-way members of this forum.

riseagainstrocks 08-05-2005 06:22 PM

good call.

i'm kinda tired of posting songs that myself and friends and outsiders (teachers and such) think is good and than not have any comments on them. and then people who post songs about cutting themselves get praise that it's deep.

so i will now write a song about cutting myself.

"the razor traces my veins. and i stand in the shower
the blood goes down the drain. i hate you.

i like to wear all black and do nothing but glower.
i wear mascara but don't call me ***. i hate you.

this is a cry for attention but i won't cut too deep.
i don't want to die only for people to think i'm poetic"


that was too easy. now i'm a crazy good artist! right? nope.

sleepy jack 08-06-2005 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riseagainstrocks
good call.

i'm kinda tired of posting songs that myself and friends and outsiders (teachers and such) think is good and than not have any comments on them. and then people who post songs about cutting themselves get praise that it's deep.

so i will now write a song about cutting myself.

"the razor traces my veins. and i stand in the shower
the blood goes down the drain. i hate you.

i like to wear all black and do nothing but glower.
i wear mascara but don't call me ***. i hate you.

this is a cry for attention but i won't cut too deep.
i don't want to die only for people to think i'm poetic"


that was too easy. now i'm a crazy good artist! right? nope.

OMFG RISE YOUR AMAZING!YOU'LL BE DA NEXT STERIOTYPICAL EMO STAR!!!

hahah sorry i had to...

Ill try and comment more i promise.

TheBig3 08-08-2005 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by riseagainstrocks
good call.

i'm kinda tired of posting songs that myself and friends and outsiders (teachers and such) think is good and than not have any comments on them. and then people who post songs about cutting themselves get praise that it's deep.

that was too easy. now i'm a crazy good artist! right? nope.

That was phenominal. I think too many people fall hard for the forelorn in their early teen years.

By 20 they think "what a moron I was"

All these people that think, im so alone, im the only one that thinks like this...theres millions of you, if you got out and were social you'd know this. DAMN YOU EMO.

TheBig3 08-13-2005 09:41 AM

Why I don't write
 
I was recently admonished and chastised for never submitting a song of my own and to anyone else in the forum that feels im an ass for not submitting, allow me to say why.

For one thing, I don't necessarily agree with this forum because we are writing "songs" yet theres no music to accompany the words. In my mind, its not a song. Its a poem or a badly strung together set of words. I've never complained about it, I just never wrote.

I did, however, decide to give people feed back because if anything sucks more then hearing your writing is terrible, its hearing nothing at all. People put work into these things and I felt they at least deserved a responce. Appreantly I've done too little.

In an attempt to clear the air you should discuss whether people should have to submit to participate or not. I for one am done responding to things in here, but you should at least set ground rules for the forum.

riseagainstrocks 08-13-2005 10:02 AM

I like your criticism...but i understand where your coming from.

i think however that song is the lyrics and music is the sounds. whateva though.

TheBig3 08-30-2005 10:25 PM

This forum seems dead
 
Yeah alright this place is growing cobwebs and I have my problems with this forum, but maybe all it needs is a jumpstart. That being said, this is a crap poem I wrote back in 2002 (may maybe) for one of my poetics classes. It was the first one I did, so as you can imagine...

People Props
[My Name Here]

I watch the Eleanor Rigby’s of life
From benches in parks and
The bus seats of rapid transit
Existing

Statues of flesh
Living Decorations
Breathing Christmas Ornaments
Filler

They are extras in a movie
Or muzak in a mall
There to fill the gap
That exists without there menial presence

They’re on time
They crawl on all fours
Walk down the aisle and put
Both feet in the grave


Can they fathom?
Running, diving, swinging
What they must think as they pass
When they see me
Sitting
On a bench in the park

Hype8 08-31-2005 08:41 AM

I actually like this one. Normally poems are a bit dull to me cause of the lack of rhymes and stuff, but I liked this one nice job.

TheBig3 08-31-2005 06:12 PM

Thanks, having not seen it since its submission (i got it from the word file) theres alot I would edit, but I do appreciate the sentiment.

riseagainstrocks 08-31-2005 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheBig3KilledMyRainDog
They’re on time
They crawl on all fours
Walk down the aisle and put
Both feet in the grave


awesome line. really awesome in fact. not sure why just the image I saw when i read it.

and I don't know who Eleanor Rigby is and something tells me that will result in a summary execution but whateva


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