Double X's dump
 

Well a lot of my 'songs' I play with my band is just me using a melody from another song, changing lyrics to something I like, and then changing the melody so it doesn't seem like I stole it.

So here goes nothing I guess...most of it is just dreary chamber pop that my band makes into lazy distorted stuff

When_they jump, in the river
There_is no one coming back for you

And_the sun, shining over the clouds
But_when the rain falls down your breath will end

And_you saw
Yourself_in the mirror
The_sun glistened in your eyes
And_the blood moves through the veins

But_the-sun shines on
And_the rain keeps falling down
And_these new graves mesh
In_this fresh fertile ground

And_then you saw
Yourself_in the mirror
And_you
Gasp_and scurry away

And_the sun shines on,
But_rain keeps falling down.
Do_you cry?
Or_is it, just the dirt in your eyes?

But_the-sun shines on
And_the rain keeps falling down
And_these new graves mesh
In_this fresh fertile ground

And_then he fell
Into_the river
And_the sun's fading from his eyes
And_you know he’s going to die

But_the-sun shines on
And_the rain keeps falling down
And_these new graves mesh
In_this fresh fertile ground


But_the sun shines on
And_the rain keeps falling down
And_these new graves mesh
In_this fresh fertile ground

And_then you saw
Yourself_the mirror
And_there’s rain cloud over your head
And_you know you’ll soon be dead

But_the sun shines on
And_the rain
Will keep falling
Down

It's_kinda cold, in here
It's_kinda dreary, nothing ever happens
It's_kinda dull, in here
It's_kinda eerie, something's gonna happen

Slipping_through the empty...
Wading_through the charade...
Breaking_down all the useless...
Wanting_the old...

It's_kinda cold, in here
It's_kinda dreary, nothing ever happens
It's_kinda dull, in here
It's_kinda eerie, something's gonna happen

Hiding_all the angry...
Wishing_for the old...
Dying_to reach forgotten...
Knowing_that the...

Hey_mister, I'm only seventeen
Smells_kinda good but I ain't too keen

You_know where all the kids can blow-
Bubbles_and you told them but they wouldn't go

He's_a dirty, dirty man
He'll_take, whoever he can
Susie,_Jessica, Ann
He's_a dirty, dirty man

Loves_the air of Saturday night
Feeling_safe being out of sight

You_know where all the kids can blow-
Bubbles_and you got something to show

He's_a dirty, dirty man
He'll_take, whoever he can
Susie,_Jessica, Ann
He's_a dirty, dirty man

It_can't be wrong
The_way you look
The_way you move
I_know it can't be wrong

I_saw you laying down
In_the grass
My_courage sapped
Now_the chance has passed

It_can't be wrong
The_way you look
The_way you move
I_know it can't be wrong

Your last two songs are better than your first. Reason being is that your first two songs are dodgy and clichéd. The last two express emotion, flow, and an interesting story. I would certainly like to read some more of your stuff. :)

btw, I have some relatives in eastern Massachusetts--Topsfield to be exact.

Not even close to me (Holliston) :( - and the first two songs I ripped off of crappy songs, so it would make sense that they suck.

Yeah, well thanks to you I've started doing the same. I don't know if my writing has gotten better or worse for it. But it certainly is fun.

peace,
-nick