Lateralus' songs.
 

Okay so this thread is where I'm going to write and develop my own and my band's song lyrics and poetry. I might even post some of them in video form!

To start off, this is one of the first songs we wrote and it's called 'Amy.' It is about a girl we used to know. We've matured lots as songwriters since but this song is still very special to us.


Her hair was made of embers
There was a flame in her eye to match
She picked up boys in Melbourne bars
But still she was detached

Her car was lined with tiny bits
Of paper, scribbly prose
She said she kept her soul on loose-leaf
and made all of her own clothes

Amy come drive with me
We'll elope from all this mess
Roll up your sleeves don't be ashamed
Put on your prettiest dress

On the outside we saw her smile,
Lip gloss, cherry red
On the inside we didn't know
The hurt, the pain, the dread

Amy come drive with me
It doesn't matter where we go
Roll up your sleeves don't be ashamed
Noone ever has to know

Amy, come drive with me
Amy, roll up your sleeves
Amy, come drive with me
Amy, roll up your sleeves

Amy come drive with me
we'll elope from all this mess
Roll up your sleeves don't be ashamed
put on your prettiest dress

Amy....

She said she kept her soul on loose-leaf
and made all of her own clothes

Great line. Suicide is such a sad thing to deal with for everyone affected. A fitting tribute.

Are you a fan of Missy Higgins? You share a depth in thought and an ease in your content. I think it's great that you can share this.

Thanks. That's my favourite line out of the song also.

I'm not a diehard fan of Missy Higgins but I am familiar with her stuff. Anyway, thanks :)

Here is a video version. I've shortened it and adapted it to an acoustic version, normally it's a band thing. enjoy. or not.

that was really nice, i liked that.

Wow, it's really weird to hear someone's voice that you've only talked to online, but yours is really beautiful. I agree with the Missy higgins comparison as well.

Haha it is weird to hear online people speak.. especially with my weirdo accent. But shucks, thanks :o:

It's barely noticeable and by no means weird.

I really liked this song Kate, the reverb you added to the voice was a very nice touch. I think I'm going to subscribe to your page :D

Thanks! Yeah I added a small percentage of reverb using good old garage band. Thanks for subscribing!

EDIT: I've also uploaded a new video of it where my head isn't chopped off.

Thanks for listening :)

Very good I like it. Acoustic electric?

Nope, just a crummy old Yamaha acoustic that I bought when I was about 16 :D I just used the built-in camera and mic from my apple laptop to record it.

Have you thought about putting a mic into it? All you would really need is a drill, and the right sized bit.

I have thought about it actually, especially for playing at venues and not having to mic it up dodgily. But then I always think, no, I'll just wait til I can actually buy a new guitar since this one is shite. That or, who cares, I'm an amateur and I can't be bothered going to the effort when I don't sound that great anyway! Haha. Plus, I wouldn't know exactly how to go about it :S

Basically all you would need to do is take out the bottom strap holder and replace it with a patch cord plugin (that connects into a mic put inside the guitar and held down)

Personally I would never buy an acoustic electric because they typically lose sound quality and cost more than if you made it an electric yourself.

If you wanted to learn more about how to do this, just go to your local guitar shop.



edit: What key is the song in (I thought Dmaj?)

Cool, I will check it out and perhaps look into it more....

& I think this song is in G, the chords for the verses are Em, G and the chords for the chorus' are C, Em, C, Em, C, G. Very basic!

Thanks heaps for your feedback :)

i really love this song, and your accent makes it interesting (in a good way of course.)

Great job!!!

Hi, Kate,
Your song about Amy is lovely. It reminds me of a friend I made at the end of senior year in high school. We hung out one evening together on a band trip and got to know each other for the first time. I was going to be out of the country next year, and he asked me to write him. Well, at the end of my year abroad, I finally was getting ready to write him when I heard through the grapevine that he had just killed himself with a gun, with drug addiction perhaps being involved. Afterwards I kicked myself, saying, "Aarggh! If only I'd written him sooner! If only I'd..." if only, if only, etc., etc.

It is hard for those left living after people kill themselves, because of course if we had known of their suffering we would have reached out beforehand. If there is anything good that comes from suicide (and I don't think there is), it is the fact that it serves as a reminder to me to try to reach out to people when we can. You just never know who will appreciate it/who needs it.

The lines I like especially are the following, because they succinctly use metaphors to describe that Amy had within herself both the ignition source (the embers, flame, and match) and the combustible material (her soul, written on loose-leaf paper) to destroy herself:

I feel the saddest line is that she made her own clothes, because this line shows both her detachment from others (and her self-dependence), as well as, conversely, her ability to care for herself...because sewing clothes is a time-intensive and creative labor of love. How sad that she was able to spend so much effort caring for herself, but eventually did herself the ultimate harm. The line about picking up boys in Melbourne bars works well because it shows how she was both looking for some emotional connection she appears to have been lacking, yet also when alive was engaging in self-destructive behavior (risky dating practices)...setting the stage for the final self-destructive behavior.

I have two questions about your song and wording, Kate. If I didn't know the story behind the song, or if I didn't know the title, while listening to the song I wouldn't understand that Amy had killed herself, although one guesses it from the title, R.I.P. Amy, and some of the lyrics that show there was the fire within her ready to spark and consume her. Do you want somehow to hint more strongly in the song that she killed herself, or do you prefer it to not be so obvious?

The second question is about a few word choices. When you write:
to me "elope" is a word only used when a couple elope to get married suddenly rather than stay and plan a big public wedding. I have never actually ever heard it used to mean anything other than this in the U.S., even though the dictionary does describe "elope" as also meaning escape. Perhaps in Australian English "elope" is commonly used to mean escape? I'm wondering if instead of elope you might consider writing, "We'll escape from all this mess."

A second word choice question is about "roll up your sleeves." To me this phrase/cliche means "get to work." I'm wondering, again, if perhaps it has a different meaning in Australian English rather than in American English? Does it perhaps mean to you the same as "relax" or "unbutton your collar?" The phrase that I think of when I think of someone (female) relaxing/unwinding is "let your hair down." Reading your lyrics made me consider this issue of how English songs are understood differently depending on where the English-speakers originate, since each country must have its own interpretations of words and sayings, even when the words and sayings are the same.

You sing the song very sweetly!

--Erica

I find it refreshing to hear an Australian accent again and I start to wonder how I ever lost mine. :D

I like your song and I agree with Lee on the greatness of that line.


Btw do you want me to rename the thread to lateralus' songs? It still shows up as shiseido's.

This was great! You just kicked half of the songwriting forum's arse with that video. And I want an mp3... now!

Ha geez.. thanks! :o: You seriously want an mp3? I will PM one to you if you really are interested :)

EDIT: Okay I've got an mp3 version with heaps more sound editing/ cleaned up/ etc if anyone's interested.

Send it over!

Wanna know something?

I've been wondering where you are...

;;

This one doesn't have a name, so feel free to suggest one if you can think of one.

I'm overlooking/ the street we used to live
The lofty gum trees/ they always forgive
Birthday parties and broken bones
You left me here with too many unknowns

Im overlooking/ the beach that we called ours
Searing summers/ lying on our towels
Bright blue ocean and golden sand
A love affair with this sunburned land

You said goodbye you left you went away
Would I be different if you were still here today
You said goodbye you left you went away
But Im still here I chose to stay

Im overlooking/ the photos in my head
Backyard cricket/ six if you hit the shed
Football socks and smiling faces
How could you leave, of all places

You said goodbye you left you went away
Would I be different if you were still here today
You said goodbye you left you went away
But Im still here I chose to stay

I was only seventeen
Sneaking out of windows, caught by the fly screen
Do you miss the sun the sea
But most of all...
do you miss me?

You said goodbye you left you went away
Would I be different if you were still here today
You said goodbye you left you went away
But Im still here I chose to stay

You said goodbye you left you went away
Would I be different if you were still here today?

And here's a slightly crappy recording of it, although this was recorded quite a while ago:


It's a bit lame and sappy I must admit!

Edit: Sorry the vocals are so quiet, that's what you get when you're just using the in-built mic in your computer!

I love it, I really do.

But there's one thing that I can't put my finger on just yet that I think should change. I will let you know as soon as possible.

Beautiful. <3

not bad, but could you turn up the vocals a bit? i can barely hear them.

There's not much I can do about that unless I force myself to play guitar quietly or record the guitar and vocals separately. I don't own any professional recording gear whatsoever and record directly from the tiny in-built mic on my mac. I shall work on it though.

I don't have any problems with the vocals being soft or barely audible, (for instance REM's early stuff, I could never understand what Michael Stipe sang,) imo it adds mystery to the song.

Lateralus,
Nice song. The vocals might be as loud as you like but the tone of the recording is good.

Just a tip in response to that last video: I dont know if you normally do it but try just fingerpicking/strumming. Not just for more control of the sound but it'll make it warmer and quieter so your vocals will appear louder.

Very good though, I enjoyed it.

Hi Lateralus,
I feel your song is lovely...sweet and sentimental (not sappy). I feel there is nothing at all sappy about missing a friend and having emotions about that person and the loss...those are beautiful feelings and much more preferable than when people feel disconnected from, and unaffected by, others.

I just have one recommendation. As I listened to the song I noticed that in the bridge (in bold above) every word in the last three lines was sung using the same note (in other words, this section was monotone):

I felt myself expecting and wanting some more soaring notes (higher notes) in this bridge section to emphasize it and make it sound distinct from the song's verses and chorus. Still, I feel the song is very nice as it is.

I especially liked this line, "Sneaking out windows, caught by the fly screen," because for me it symbolizes the overall message of the song, which I see as the speaker wanting to be with the friend, but feeling caught through love for the land and for her home, and thus not wanting to leave, even as she sees the friend doing so and she yearns for the past they had together.

Hmm...you asked for title suggestions...the image that sticks in my mind is of the young person pressed up against the screen of her home, watching her friend/loved-one leaving, having the ability to break through the barrier and follow if she wants to, but choosing not to go even though it is hard to be the one left behind. Since the song deals again and again with seeing...both seeing the past and seeing the images and events as if they were happening again, would "View" work as a good title for your song?

--Erica

Lateralus, that song about your friend Amy was beautiful.
it was so emotive. i had goosebumps & all!
i cant really think of anything else to say, but i really enjoyed that :)
honestly keep it up!

Hey VEGANGELICA, thanks for the tips!

The song is actually about my parents moving overseas for work when I was about 17 and I decided to stay in Australia because I loved it so much and couldn't bear to leave. In retrospect I wish they had convinced me to go with them because aged 17 onwards I had no parental influences and struggled a little. So yeah.

'View' would indeed be a fitting name! And as for the bridge, I wish I did sing it with higher notes or differing notes but I'm really not a singer so I didn't want it to end up sounding crappy.

But yeah everything I post here is pretty much just messing around and work-in-progresses. So thanks so much for the encouragement/ advice!

Thank you :)

Wow, that song was touching. I can totally relate to it, I went through the same thing. Except my family moved to a different town rather than a different country.

Aww thank you! It's really nice to know that someone can relate. :)

Amy is probably one of my favorite songs now. I would payfor and download even this not-so- hot recording, cause the song's just that good. It's simple, but one of those things that really hits you in your core. I agree with vegangelica that, if i hadn't been told, i wouldn't know it was about a girl who had commited suicide...but i think maybe it's more of a tribute to her life than to her death. Excellent job. i wish i could hear it as the band plays it.


If guitar is your worst instrument, then by golly i want to hear something youre really really good at! more more more more more!

I haven't really posted any of my original songs on here for a very long time, looking back on the ones I have posted they are so lame and old! Anyway, here is a random tidbit/song type music thing that I recorded very roughly, haphazardly and quickly with someone I met on SoundCloud. The lyrics were pretty much written as I sang them, they are pretty simple. I'm not really sure what to do with this song now... but let me know what you think!

It's called 'Atlas.'

The audio:
Upload Audio | Listen to Audio | Atlas | YourListen

The lyrics:

Breathe out, breathe in
Watch the world slowly spin
These stars look different here
Watch the sky disappear
Disappear

Atlas lines, ocean walls
Watch the moon as it slowly falls
Slowly fall

A pleasantly mellow song, Lateralus. It had a shoegazy feel that I liked.

My favorite part of the song was your ethereal singing: pretty, light, and airy. I felt the lyrics matched both your vocals and the tune very well.

VEGANGELICA, you are still around! :)

Thank you!