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-   -   Lookin for some opinions on my rap lyrics (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/48756-lookin-some-opinions-my-rap-lyrics.html)

Gray-M 04-13-2010 12:33 PM

Need YOUR opinion please! Lyrics
 
been writing lyrics for a couple months, just trying new things all the time. This is one that ive only just started. Might seem a bit ****ed up when its not sung on a beat :/ anyway..

Sitin here in a dark spot with ma lap-top
still smashed from the last joint,
motherfu*kers still grabbed by ma last song,
"crazy days" was ma last stop,
all a did was open note pad and then blast on
jottin words till am bored or till am past points
a can keep goin like andy goram saving slap shots
but slap shots is a hokey term and andy goram was a soccer goaly
holy s*** you totally wrecked ma rap song
and this is ma song, this is ma story
but am not from balamory, am fae paisley,
a stay crazy, and a do ma job every day,
but only it pays daily
a need cash, everbodys on the same boat
i'd do anythin expect from f*** a male goat
f*** that, f*** wit, f*** who, f*** them
f*** the government cos theyd send anyone out to war, but them

someonecompletelyrandom 04-13-2010 03:33 PM

I quite like them, actually. It's nothing deep or anything, but it doesn't try to be... which on this forum is quite refreshing. The bits about writing the song were a nice tongue-in-cheek type thing. My only complaint is the last line doesn't seem to fit, but I don't know how the beat might fix that up.

Keep doing it.

Gray-M 04-13-2010 04:33 PM

Thanks man. Yeh it looks as if it wouldnt fit but surprisingly it goes quite well with the instrumental im using. I'll post more as i progress, and maybe if its allowed i can post the finished recording when i get it done.

jace 04-13-2010 06:24 PM

Its hard to read somebody's flow, but i'm sure it rapped would sound better than me trying to read it, lol

Gray-M 04-14-2010 09:59 AM

Ive carried the song on and done about a minute and a halfs worth of lyrics, is it ok to upload it to speedyshare or something and post a link here?


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