Looking for a mentor!

[Kerrtastic]

Hello, I am Kerr. A young songwriter, really of all sorts but I am really trying to develop my hip hop and rap, and i am looking someone with experience to help me out, and give me feedback! I am only 14, just so you know, but I have written a lot of songs. I have a Skype, and if anyone is interested in helping me out, hook me up!
Thanks!
Kerr

PS

Now for all my songs and such, shouldve read the rules before posting this :/ Will look into getting name changed on this thread.

[FrankBeardjr]

hmmmm, a padewon? lol

[Kerrtastic]

Originally Posted by FrankBeardjr

hmmmm, a padewon? lol

Hahaha You could say that, but I am going to need a midget to ride on my back...

[ThePhanastasio]

I wish Dirty was still here, because he'd be a great mentor. I occasionally write lyrics for rap or hip-hop, but don't think I'm as equipped to be a mentor as he would have been.

[Kerrtastic]

Originally Posted by ThePhanastasio

I wish Dirty was still here, because he'd be a great mentor. I occasionally write lyrics for rap or hip-hop, but don't think I'm as equipped to be a mentor as he would have been.

I saw one of his battles, he was just amazing. Oh well, someone will show up. Im looking to upload a song at some point, maybe then I will get some feedback from the general community.

[Kerrtastic]

Im sick and tired of all the homies goin and judging me
What, did your mom tell you run that mouth til you gotta flee?
You talk smack, all up in my face, so I turn on my G
Whimperin like a puppy, runnin like a cat, now you see.

Yo im a skinny white boy, they call me Kerr
I don’t look like a fighter when you see me at first
Don’t talk smack, don’t talk back, that’s what they say
I do what I want, so back off, mkay?

Now I aint judge by color, sex, or age
Im 14, a saltine, ready to get out that cage
So I see a red brown yellow I don’t care
So long as you don’t judge me with my beat and my snare

Yeah you think your real tough grabbing a**** on the street?
Think you look tight just cause you wear Dre's Beats?
Ill tell you what, show me up, then ill give you respect
Until then you can go home and write a few more bad checks, b****
__________________________________________________ ________________________
Just a test run, let me know what you think.

[ThePhanastasio]

Originally Posted by Kerrtastic

Im sick and tired of all the homies goin and judging me
What, did your mom tell you run that mouth til you gotta flee?
You talk smack, all up in my face, so I turn on my G
Whimperin like a puppy, runnin like a cat, now you see.

Yo im a skinny white boy, they call me Kerr
I don’t look like a fighter when you see me at first
Don’t talk smack, don’t talk back, that’s what they say
I do what I want, so back off, mkay?

Now I aint judge by color, sex, or age
Im 14, a saltine, ready to get out that cage
So I see a red brown yellow I don’t care
So long as you don’t judge me with my beat and my snare

Yeah you think your real tough grabbing a**** on the street?
Think you look tight just cause you wear Dre's Beats?
Ill tell you what, show me up, then ill give you respect
Until then you can go home and write a few more bad checks, b****
__________________________________________________ ________________________
Just a test run, let me know what you think.

What, you're fourteen, and you think you know
what you mean? Life is too real to be wasted on teens
Life is legit; why you got it so hard?
There's no poker, but you're slinging cards
Down like you know
Things're legit for sure
But nothing's legit 'til you realize regret
And you think you understand
Think you're the man
But it's hard, it's not easy bro
**** gets so sleazy bro
I want to help you, man
But words fly to Pakistan
Where they need help, they receive help
And you're straight up needing ****, bro help
Pow for power; every hour on the hour
OR your **** gets sour
With this flow devoured
Wanna rhyme, double-time
But you got trippin' so divine, got me
Runnin' for cover
Hidin' myself; gotta find some other
Way to express my words and my rhymes
That seamlessly connect and entwine in my essence...

[FrankBeardjr]

Originally Posted by Kerrtastic

Im sick and tired of all the homies goin and judging me
What, did your mom tell you run that mouth til you gotta flee?
You talk smack, all up in my face, so I turn on my G
Whimperin like a puppy, runnin like a cat, now you see.

Yo im a skinny white boy, they call me Kerr
I don’t look like a fighter when you see me at first
Don’t talk smack, don’t talk back, that’s what they say
I do what I want, so back off, mkay?

Now I aint judge by color, sex, or age
Im 14, a saltine, ready to get out that cage
So I see a red brown yellow I don’t care
So long as you don’t judge me with my beat and my snare

Yeah you think your real tough grabbing a**** on the street?
Think you look tight just cause you wear Dre's Beats?
Ill tell you what, show me up, then ill give you respect
Until then you can go home and write a few more bad checks, b****
__________________________________________________ ________________________
Just a test run, let me know what you think.

oK , keep in mind that all of this is just opinion, you asked for help, from anyone. So I will lend you my 2 cents. I will break it down best I can.

#1. rhyme more than on word per sentence.
IE. The fat cat smoked a hash sack
i just sat back countin cash stacks

#2. in a four bar sequence rhyming only your last word, and using the same syllables and sound for the last word, is gonna sound more like a poem, and make it hard not to be monotone, this sometimes works in story telling rap, but not often.

so try to uses different sequences, like

a
a
b
a


IE. a.the fat cat was crazy bro
a. he came with luggage, some crazy ho
b. so you know me, cus im crazy to
a. i tol that slow bitch that she had ta go

IE. a. the fat cat was crazy bro
b. an he came with more than one
a. an when i tol his ass he had ta go
b. lil kitty reached for a gun.

#3. Do not refer to your race. Ever. Its corny, and doesn't matter in rap anymore.

#4.(so I turn on my G) make sure the lines you say make sense and apply to you, if they don't your music has no heart. And will not be felt by anyone but your mom.

#5.Don't use more words than you have to, and pay attention to syllables.

#6. The world has plenty of people who want to rap because they think its a cool thing to do, they don't take time to polish their craft and they force feed their garbage down everyone's throat, If you don't live and breath hip-hop then do us all a favor and try something else. And if you ever, ever wonder if you should quit.... quit, cause this industry is not for weak people. Best of luck to you. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.

#7. Don't ever post a song up untill you have let a lot of unbiast people review it, try to find the hardest critic to listen to it first, someone that will tell you its wack, if you can't find anyone come to me.

O.K so what you just posted was complete garbage, but its no worse than when me or any of my friends started out, watch some youtube tutorials and get to practicing. Good luck.


oh and one more piece of advice, try remixing your favorite artists songs using the same flow they had, it will help you learn the methods... instrumentals are all over youtube.

[Kerrtastic]

Originally Posted by FrankBeardjr

oK , keep in mind that all of this is just opinion, you asked for help, from anyone. So I will lend you my 2 cents. I will break it down best I can.

#1. rhyme more than on word per sentence.
IE. The fat cat smoked a hash sack
i just sat back countin cash stacks

#2. in a four bar sequence rhyming only your last word, and using the same syllables and sound for the last word, is gonna sound more like a poem, and make it hard not to be monotone, this sometimes works in story telling rap, but not often.

so try to uses different sequences, like

a
a
b
a


IE. a.the fat cat was crazy bro
a. he came with luggage, some crazy ho
b. so you know me, cus im crazy to
a. i tol that slow bitch that she had ta go

IE. a. the fat cat was crazy bro
b. an he came with more than one
a. an when i tol his ass he had ta go
b. lil kitty reached for a gun.

#3. Do not refer to your race. Ever. Its corny, and doesn't matter in rap anymore.

#4.(so I turn on my G) make sure the lines you say make sense and apply to you, if they don't your music has no heart. And will not be felt by anyone but your mom.

#5.Don't use more words than you have to, and pay attention to syllables.

#6. The world has plenty of people who want to rap because they think its a cool thing to do, they don't take time to polish their craft and they force feed their garbage down everyone's throat, If you don't live and breath hip-hop then do us all a favor and try something else. And if you ever, ever wonder if you should quit.... quit, cause this industry is not for weak people. Best of luck to you. PRACTICE PRACTICE PRACTICE.

#7. Don't ever post a song up untill you have let a lot of unbiast people review it, try to find the hardest critic to listen to it first, someone that will tell you its wack, if you can't find anyone come to me.

O.K so what you just posted was complete garbage, but its no worse than when me or any of my friends started out, watch some youtube tutorials and get to practicing. Good luck.


oh and one more piece of advice, try remixing your favorite artists songs using the same flow they had, it will help you learn the methods... instrumentals are all over youtube.

Thank you, this is just the kind of feedback I need! And about an unbiased opinion, that is part of what a mentor would be nice for, to practice and work 1 on 1, until i can learn to be better on my own. Thank you!

[Kerrtastic]

Originally Posted by ThePhanastasio

What, you're fourteen, and you think you know
what you mean? Life is too real to be wasted on teens
Life is legit; why you got it so hard?
There's no poker, but you're slinging cards
Down like you know
Things're legit for sure
But nothing's legit 'til you realize regret
And you think you understand
Think you're the man
But it's hard, it's not easy bro
**** gets so sleazy bro
I want to help you, man
But words fly to Pakistan
Where they need help, they receive help
And you're straight up needing ****, bro help
Pow for power; every hour on the hour
OR your **** gets sour
With this flow devoured
Wanna rhyme, double-time
But you got trippin' so divine, got me
Runnin' for cover
Hidin' myself; gotta find some other
Way to express my words and my rhymes
That seamlessly connect and entwine in my essence...

Trust me my life isnt hard, I play every day and night
Drums bass or guitar, got the whole world in my sights
Not insulting you at all because you know how to rap,
But whats with the judging, 14 dont mean i aint tight

Plus i train everyday to get better and stronger
Every time I rap it gets longer and longer
You remember days young, just having fun?
Cause thats what Im livin, when you see me I just got that saunter

I have that problem too, expressin myself
People dont understand, think i rap for someone else
Whats the point in that? I aint here to chat
I can take all of the haters and just put em on the shelf
__________________________________________________ _______________

Im kind of new to this, so let me know if Im doing something wrong, or you have any tips... Thanks!