Please take a quick look

[Lills]

Hi,

I wrote the lyrics below for one girl, but due to the text not fitting the song's melody, I'm gonna have to rewrite it. I'm expecting her to record and send her scratch vocals to me now. The thing is I've only written 2 song texts, this included, in my entire life. I know these lyrics are not perfect (I'm happy with most of the lines though) and I'd appreciate your contructive criticism.

Be honest

1)

Deep inside me there's a hole
A very dark and lonely place
It's where you left your goodbye note
Stuck to the door of bedroom case

Chorus:

Restarting, reliving – getting passed what's been deceiving
Forgetting, forgiving – cutting souls to end up living
Remembering the feeling that was never to be lost
Is just like re-cutting wounds and draining all the blood

2)

It's not that I don't realize
Our heartbeats never felt the same
I found you reading my eyes
Now every teardrop has your name

Chorus:

Restarting, reliving – getting passed what's been deceiving
Forgetting, forgiving – cutting souls to end up living
Remembering the feeling that was never to be lost
Is just like re-cutting wounds and draining all the blood

3)

Don't make me say things I don't think
Let's not pretend we still can talk
If there's one thing I truly wish
It's that we hadn't built a home

Chorus:
Restarting, reliving – getting passed what's been deceiving
Forgetting, forgiving – cutting souls to end up living
Remembering the feeling that was never to be lost
Is just like re-cutting wounds and draining all the blood

You've left me the pieces of my life to be amended
I'm sticking each crystal back to other one like puzzle
The future has never been so calm and close to present
You’re not what I'm looking for when traveling round the world

[Lills]

I see you lurking here :p

Anyone?

[Lills]

Gee thanks...

somebody close this thread, please