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Old 06-26-2013, 06:13 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Join Date: Jun 2013
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Question I've messed things up

These are some lyrics that I've wrote after a break up. I know, I know,kind of mushy but here it is.

I don’t know what to do
To make things better,
Every word I say
Just makes things worse.
It’s hard to breathe in
I feel I’m chocking
I wish I’ve never said
Those last three words.

And it’s so hard to breathe in,
It’s getting harder to breathe out
My thoughts are raising in my head
And they are telling me
That this time
I’ve really messed things up.

I’m sorry I’ve made your life
Be so much harder
Wish I could turn back time
I know I can’t.
This is a story with
No happy ending
Forgive me please
I know I can’t.

And it’s so hard to breathe in,
It’s getting harder to breathe out
My thoughts are racing in my head
And they are telling me
That this time
I’ve really messed things up.

Don’t close for good
The door behind you
Leave it a little open
So I could crawl back in.
I will do anything
To make things better
Just say the words
And I’ll be at your feet.


And it’s so hard to breathe in,
It’s getting harder to breathe out
My thoughts are racing in my head
And they are telling me
That this time
I’ve really messed things up.

So,what do yo think?can i get some feedback....suggestions?
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Old 06-27-2013, 05:46 PM   #2 (permalink)
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hey man, those are pretty good.
as you said, mushy, but definitley not overly. it's really hard to give suggestions. just keep writing man,
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