Battle Wounds
 

You's a fake, a phoney, **** you spit is irrelevant
I'm real, respected, spit in your face for the hell of it
That's a hell of a good dip, brain matter battered in oil
Hip hop underground like the secrets of the royal
Family, la familia trusted brothers in the fight
Soldiers gone psycho that'll kill you out of spite
Now it's time to battle, enter the dragon, you still want war
Open you up like a flesh wound, slice your scab off, you sore
Hit the floor this a stick up, grab the cash then gone
Jump in a stolen pick-up weed scented from the chron
Come on you got to be joking, You think you at this level
My skills through the roof, my soul in hell with the devil
I'm a rebel, unhuman, a supernatural being
An altered beast, a savage, emotionless, deceiving
My brain's rotten full of filth, decrepid, decayed
Violent and vicious, ready to lash out, enraged
Ever been caged, i'm talking locked up, orange jump suit, jail
Nah...You's a name dropping snitch, cop calling, tattle-tale

Im not huge into hip hop but this is pretty aggressive but clever at the same time

Not bad, check out my threads dude I'm a newbie to the site. I'm up for a rap battle maybe one time if you're game? ;-)

WOW. Just to be blunt and straight-forward, that was utter crap. Some choice weaknesses:

Too much repetition of words that close almost always irks me, but I am going to try to ignore my personal qualms on that and remain objective...

That has to be one of the oddest attacks I ever have heard...

These come off way more as rap to me than hip-hop...

Now I am not sure if this is serious or a parody...

I mean, who slices off the scab of another person out of hate? If you have a cutting implement, you would do better to stab or slice literally ANYTHING other than a scab or... I don't know, elbow, knee?

This sounds like a fight between children. Who, over the age of like 12, still says tattle-tale? Also, it is redundant tto say that in the same line you ALREADY called them a snitch in.

It just jumps wildly around with no real central flow or idea, like a weak attempt or excuse to put as many odd words in a single song as possible.

One line about slicing off a scab then jumping to robbery? Also, you don't have to say you smell like weed from the chron[ic]. That's like saying you smell like weed from the weed. Just saying you smell of it implies you probably smoked it.

If you're going for brutality and extreme rap, I suggest listening to some Goretex or Necro, then try re-writing those lyrics.




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