Pilot Song
 

Hello everyone. This is my sort of pilot song/rap to see my strengths and weaknesses of being a writer. Also I feel its kind of weird that its a rap about rock and roll so here it goes.

Title: Oh We've Wanted to Rock and Roll


Are you ready?

Aha

Oh we've wanted to rock and roll
To get by day by day doing our works toll
We've waited this long to rock
And we're not about to let it stop

Just let your hair drop and your voice go
We can take it fast or we can take it slow
All day long with nothing to do
All we want to do is rock and roll, just me and you

Some people all they do is complain
But I just tell em to let go and drink the champagne
We don't do nothin except rock and roll
Let the music do its work, that'll do its toll

Just let your hair drop and your voice go
We can take it fast or we can take it slow
All day long with nothing to do
All we want to do is rock and roll, just me and you

We just sit back and relax
And watch as the world turns black
By the work we've done to get this far
Just me and you sittin under the stars

Just let your hair drop and your voice go
We can take it fast or we can take it slow
All day long with nothing to do
All we want to do is rock and roll, just me and you


Constructive criticism is always welcome and encouraged.

Great job
 

This was a great poem
With lots of voice and character.
The energy was very strong but the last line in a few stanza threw off the flow.
That may have been your objective but all the same, it made me uncomfortable reading it.
You should continue and write more.