Rate My Lyrics Please [See The Light]
 

Hello, I am a singer/songwriter who is looking for a band to make songs with. I am currently trying to write an album for when I do find a band. This is the first song that I have written for the album. I was wondering if anyone could give me feedback on the lyrics so I can know what I might need to improve.
Thanks.
~Cody

See The Light
Written By: Cody Sparks

Blinded by the shadows
Cast by memories of the past.
These painful thoughts
Keep haunting me.
I doubt that I will last.

This bliss that I keep striving for
In a fight that will not end.
Seems to grow
Distant from me.
My will begins to bend.

I gaze upon the sky of dust
And begin to realize.
This valley full
Of broken trust.
Has opened up my eyes.

Far off in the distance
Light shines down from above.
It cascades across
This dark abyss.
Replacing all my fear with love.

This fog
Has blown away.
The light dances through the dust.

This path
Is now clear.
In this illuminated night
The stars shine oh so bright.
Transforming all wrong into right.

Now I can see
The light that faded long ago.
And I believe
That my soul is far from lost.

I was drowning in a sea of lies.
Not too far gone from my demise.
The storm has cleared.
I've found my way.
And now I see the light.
I see the light.

I know I can't just walk away
Though the battle may seem long.
You can't just
Keep changing me.
Not all I've done is wrong.

Yeah I can see
The light that faded long ago.
And I believe
That it's too late to give up now.

I was drowning in a sea of lies.
Not too far gone from my demise.
The fog has cleared.
I made it out.
And now I can see the light

No matter what I'll carry on.
Fight my way out from dusk till dawn.

The fog has cleared
I can't be stopped
By the shadows of the night.
I can see the light.

Yeah I can see the light.
Yeah I can see the light.
Yeah I can see the light.

Good one

Terrible.

Pretty good. Would work well in a pop/rock or power ballad format.

Funny that you would say that, I actually wrote it for the pop/punk/rock genre.

It's too coherent for punk. :p:

Yeah I know, I don't know why I said punk. I have a huge fever right now and my mind is all over the place. I guess I just had punk on my brain xP

Lol only listens to good feedback.

Oh crap, I didn't notice your comment, I'm rly sorry, my bad >.<
What didn't you like about it?

fify.

Idk I didn't even read the lyrics. I'm just trolling.

I dig it.. good message. Most can relate.

One suggestion if you're open to it, "Transforming all wrongs into rights." Might want to drop the 's' in both words. Think it syncs up a bit cleaner.

"This path
Is now clear.
In this illuminated night
The stars shine oh so bright.
Transforming all wrong into right."

Thanks for the input. Yeah, when I was writing that line I thought it sounded weird, but at the same time I wasn't sure if "All wrong into right" would be grammatically correct or not. I did think of changing it to that but I didn't because of the grammar, although in retrospect I suppose grammar doesn't always matter when it comes to song lyrics. So yeah, I'll probably change that line to your suggestion, it fits a lot better and doesn't sound so awkward.

All of the greats toss away grammar if it'll make a lyric flow better. You're good.

I suppose you're right, that notion might also get me out of a few jams while writing lines. Thanks for letting me know.

Also, the word, 'rights', is often associated with:

plural noun: rights

a moral or legal entitlement to have or obtain something or to act in a certain way.
synonyms: entitlement, prerogative, privilege, advantage, due, birthright, liberty, authority, power, license, permission, dispensation, leave, sanction, freedom; historicaldroit

Thanks for letting me know, those synonyms could definitely help in the future

For sure my friend. Let me know when you're performing the song live and if it's close enough to me in Florida, I'll come down and tell everyone that I helped write it.. :laughing::laughing::laughing:

Did you actually write a song, or just the lyrics?

For once we agree. Led Zeppelin sucks and Jimmy Page is a pedo.

Well, I have written the lyrics and have a general idea of the melody of the song, and I am still working on transferring it to sheet music. If you are asking have I written the instrumentals for it yet, then no, I have not. That's kinda what I'm looking for a band for, so we can hammer out and finish the actual song and whatever songs are to be written in the future.

xD I'll definitely let ya know xP

sounded as a kind of a ballade for me also. may I ask you if it was written based on your own feelings or you got the theme from somewhere?
combining with aproppriate music I think it can be a great thing.
wish you luck!

I wrote these lyrics based on my own feelings from personal experiences. I suppose this would sound good for a ballad format, but I initially wrote it for the rock genre.

Pretty good!

Good one. I like it. Carry on!