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-   -   give me the opinion on my lyrics pls.. thx ;) (

Dimikles 12-20-2015 05:20 PM

rate this s*!t pls ;)
Hey people. I'm new to writing the lyrics, also I'm not native speaker so pls give me your thoughts on thisone. It's not complete yet and I feel that something is missing there but not really sure how to name it. cliche? , or too straight without any allegory? ..too pathetic? :P.. also if you feel like there is some grammar or stylistic mistake pls let me know ;) thx..

The city of Nineveh


There is a wonderer
hitting the trail
he is the hero thats vilinised
or the villan thats glorified
hoping to see her eyes
like the emerald skies
in Nineveh

and he's crooning
and whisteling

There is a occult with the
robe as a stranger
that cannot fall asleap
nor exit the dream
hoping to see ther hair
like the forsythias that were
in Nineveh

and he's crooning
and whisteling

Yeah there is a believer
wearing the hood
hiding the smiles
behind the scars
hoping to kiss her nape
nape as tender as silk
from Ninevah


and he's crooning
and whisteling
With nothing in hands
but one discreet rose

that is more than a dozens
alone and the only
the last of the roses
from garden of uniqueness

There goes the knight
unknows if left or right
oh is he si blind?
or is it just a love?
guided by featherlike lips
a velvet thats worth the kiss
Yeah Ninevah!

thanx ;)

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