I'm trying to write music and I was hoping to get feedback on a song.
 

SW33T TALK3R:

cause your a sweet talker and I'm so gullible
I fell for you and I got ****ed up
when you're around I cant feel myself
you're my cocaine and i am the weekend
I wish I could get away from this ****
I wish could get away from this bitch
But she smiles and I'm back on my knees
and I cant leave cause I am addicted
to your kisses
I know your ruining my life
but i cant leave
cause you're my one vice

you're like opium and i am the user
say that i love you call me a loser
i wish could do the same but i am a user
you kiss my and it gets me so high
i wish that you would ****ing die
i just want you out of my life

cause you were a sweet talker and I was so gullible
I fell for you and I got ****ed up
when you were around I couldn't feel myself
you were my cocaine and i was the weekend
I wished I could get away from that ****
I wished could get away from you bitch
But you smiled and I was back on my knees
and I can leave cause I am no longer addicted
to your love or to your kisses
I know your ruining my life
so I'm leaving
not gonna think twice
you were my one vice

but i found another
yeah I ****ing love her
she makes me love myself
you made me feel
like I was the bad guy
i just wanted to have your time
but you gave it to another guy
you gave yours to my best friend
and give mine to yours
and I told you right then
four friends one castle
it wouldn't end well
but look I'm smiling harder
than i ever have before
and he's about to leave you
for another whore
well im not talking
to you anymore

cause you were a sweet talker and I was so gullible
I fell for you and I got ****ed up
when you were around I couldn't feel myself
you were my cocaine and i was the weekend
I wished I could get away from that ****
I wished could get away from you bitch
But you smiled and I was back on my knees
and I can leave cause I am no longer addicted
to your love or to your kisses
I know your ruining my life
so I'm leaving
not gonna think twice
you were my one vice



Yeah I know its not the best but its a rather new song and I'm still refining it. im also rather new to song making and so my skills are rather poor but aye you know how it is. this song was written to this beat ([FREE] Pop Punk, Smrtdeath, 2000s Type Beat "Sweetalker" prod. yunny goldz) sorry about no link i cant post them yet

Make it end in a suicide with a quizzical it’s better to have loved and lost message

to your love or to your kisses
and then only unfulfilled wishes
I know youre ruining my life
I'm leaving on a train that is destined to wreck
by tying the noose that will bruise up my neck
snap and I’m done not gonna think twice
I lost and death won but you...
you were my only... sweet lovely vice