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-   -   A song im starting to write (https://www.musicbanter.com/song-writing-lyrics-poetry/96933-song-im-starting-write.html)

MysticMystery 12-01-2021 09:01 AM

A song im starting to write
 
Hey everyone Im new to this site...but I was hoping you all could give some input on this song I am writing to sing to my boyfriend. Heres what I have so far let me know what you all think and please give any feedback if you have any!!!

I fell in love with a guy
who makes me feel happy with who i am
he held my hand in the dark
and walked me through hard times
i never thought id find a love like this
but then i met you
and you changed my whole world
for the better
and now...

im chasin for the stars
and im followin my heart
and its all because he gave me hope
yea
i never thought id find hope again
but then you pushed me through
and never let me go
and now ive fallen in love with you
with all my heart and soul
yea ive fallen in love with you
with all my heart and soul

Thats all I have on the song for right now let me know what you all think!!!

Ayrin 12-06-2021 10:24 AM

The text isn't bad enough. Are there any options for the melody?

Mucha na Dziko 12-06-2021 11:41 AM

it's pretty nice

Especially the second part - it gets less cliche and more like an actual song.

Also, midway through you have a nice rhythm in the words. What I mean by that is that the beginning is a bit sloppy ryhtmically, but around the phrase "But then I met you" you sort it out, and I even began bouncing my head while reading

I think you should consider choosing between the talking directly at him and talking about him

Oleg Vostyakov 12-06-2021 10:36 PM

Lyrics are pretty good and I agree with Ayrin about melody. The cornerstone is about mix of lyrics and melody


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