Well, considering this is my first blog ever (I've never really wanted to do one on myspace, as all my friends can view it then) I'm a little bit stuck. Dunno what to write about basically.
So, I think I shall just describe my life a bit more. Cos it's always nice to know more about somebody, ain't it? Makes for interesting reading, I think. But if you think differently then, well, stop reading my blogs.
I'm 16 years young, and I live in the urban mess that is Birmingham, England. An angry clash of cultures and differing opinions, Birmingham represents pure hatred for most people. For me, it represents everything. I have travelled, not as much as some, but still I can't find a place as inspirational as my hometown. From its diverse youth to its desolate buildings and muddy public parks, for a 'youth' such as myself it is a playground.
And what do you do in playgrounds? Well, you play in them.
Which is what I'm doing.
I don't care what my peers, my teachers, or my girlfriend thinks of the direction I'm taking in life. They comment on it, but it's not their place to say. If I've learnt one thing from life, it's that you have to embrace every moment of it. And at the moment, where you're 16 and opportunities to have your voice heard are sparse, I'm living it as I feel I should. For once, I'm not taking any moral high-ground. I am simply doing what I want, when I want.
I have become embroiled in the 'yobbo' culture, and I'm enjoying every minute of it. Lurking in car parks, drinking with the lads whilst watching trains shoot through the tunnel outside. It doesn't make me any less of a person. I'm not an illiterate, thickheaded waste of space as many would lead you to believe. I am taking the routes through life that at this moment in time seem the most enjoyable.
In this world, nothing is ever for sure. I always thought things were just all going to go to plan. I would grow up, be a successful author, and my parents gave me full support through this ambition. Then guess what? The world swallowed up one of those parents.
Since then, I'm a totally different person. I've realised a lot of things that I was hid away from before. I'm finding my own feet, and say what you like, I'm still going to do it the way I'm doing it. I hate it when people try to understand, y'know? My girlfriend did that. She put reasoning behind things that only I knew the reasoning for. There are some things you just need to experience before you can comment on. I've got rid of the girlfriend now anyway. I'm still seeing her, but I thought we should give it a break for a bit. I don't like losing anyone, and I sincerely would like to take her with me through the rest of my journey in life, but at the moment that seems pretty impossible. I fear that if I give into these changes a bit too much then I might lose her, because sometimes I REALLY head for the sour things.
Nevertheless, changes must happen. They must always happen. I am without a solid direction at the moment, something which everyone else seems to have, but I'll get that in my own time. It's all about exploring, ain't it? Finding what's for you, and what isn't for me. I've already learnt some things that are and some things that aren't. Eventually I'll get a better understanding of everything and a more sensible one, that thinks "you really should be getting some work done Paul." But until then, I'm quite content with taking things in my stride and not worrying about the future.
Long Live Youthood
Paul
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01-23-2007 10:35 AM