Music Banterus: A Fantasy Epic

YorkeDaddy · 06-29-2015, 12:07 AM

Spoiler for dank memes:

Plot Summary: When King Hatemonchan of Music Banterus falls in battle, it's up to a band of misfits to journey out and find his replacement.

Starring:
-Droltab the Repugnant
-Lord Christophe von Frowninghymen VII
-Yorkius the Irritable
-Ki
-The Great Sage Trolldalf, the 48th Shade of Gray
-The Snake Queen Roxoffodildo
-Gloofe the Jester
-Tieu Sickstein
-General Stark of the Imperial Order of the Sansa
-Strawberry
-And many more!!!

Chapter Listings:

Chapter One: Assembly
Chapter Two: Villainy
Chapter Three: Dude Whoa
Chapter Four: Flashback

Pet_Sounds · 06-29-2015, 06:57 AM

Who on earth is Strawberry?

Key · 06-29-2015, 08:49 AM

Oh god I love this already. Who else but YorkeDaddy?

Also, I love how i'm the only normal name in that list.

Machine · 06-29-2015, 08:52 AM

Jesus Christ okay this is gonna be fun.

YorkeDaddy · 06-29-2015, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pet_Sounds

Who on earth is Strawberry?

lol

Vanilla :P

The Batlord · 06-29-2015, 09:19 AM

So long as I get first billing, then I will allow this.

Trollheart · 06-29-2015, 11:17 AM

Yeah, this sounds like it could be great. Looking forward to it. Good job!

(The Sage Trolldalf approves)

YorkeDaddy · 06-30-2015, 04:09 PM

Chapter One: Assembly

It's a cold, stormy night. The Ye Olde Pub of Chula was packed as always with patrons flooding in from all around for a pint and fun times...

Christophe: ...and that's why A Man Doing Calisthenics Whilst Wearing a Toga That's a Size or Two Too Small is the greatest stage performance of all-time.

Droltab: Do you even hear yourself sometimes?

Christophe: Look, we've had this discussion before. Let's just agree to disagree, alright?

Droltab: I've been trying to see things your way. I even attended a production of A Man With No Arms Playing a Glockenspiel With His Feet the other night. I just don't see what's so special about any of it. I'd much rather go see Three Large-Breasted Women Playing Hopscotch.

Christophe: That show is just too standard for me. We need to be pushing boundaries, not rolling with the status quo. Take my most recent directing venture: A Family Sleeping Peacefully Except For the Father Who Snores Occasionally. Now that's real entertainment!

Droltab: I hate everything you stand for.

Just then, the doors of the pub flew wide open. A cloaked man stood in the doorway menacingly, except it was raining so hard that he honestly looked quite silly. The entire pub quieted to a faint whisper as the man walked inside.

?????: I have an important announcement to make. King Hatemonchan of Music Banterus...has been slain in the heat of battle.

A collective gasp sounded throughout the pub. Hushed conversation ensued throughout the building as no one knew how to take the news.

Droltab: And just who the hell are you? Where did you get this information?

The man removed his cloak, revealing a powerful, chiseled face and flowing hair that somehow managed to stay flowing despite there being no wind inside this building.

Ki: I go by the name of Ki. I am of high nobility and very, very handsome. I am here for Lord Christophe von Frowninghymen VII.

Christophe: That is I. What is it you need me for?

Ki: That is to remain top secret. You must come with me to the Castle of Music Banterus.

--------------------------------

Meanwhile, just outside the halls of the Castle of Music Banterus, a book club meeting is underway...

Yorkius: Hello everybody, nice to see you here today. I'm happy to announce that we have a new member! Give a warm welcome to Innerboy Space!

Gloofe: It's very nice to meet you. What kind of books are you into?

Innerboy: Oh, you know, the regulars. Classical Contemporary 14th Decade Nigerian Snakebound Metaphysical Nonfiction with a hint of Stephen King. I have a collection of over 4,625,094,693 books of this genre, would you like some recommendations?

Yorkius: Well uh, let's stick with what we've all read for this meeting. So what did everyone think of Metal Machine Sentences? How about you, Lee Harvey Oswald?

Lee: something something beef something something my-shift-key-is-always-broken something

Yorkius: Fascinating. You really have a way with words

Gloofe: Well Metal Machine Sentences was the fortieth book I read yesterday, and just so you know all were different genres, but also just so you know I thought it was totally rad.

Yorkius: Interesting. I really didn't like Metal Machine Sentences, and I find it strange that our opinions differed so much on last week's read, To Hustle a Moth, but oh well.

Just then, a large cloud of smoke appeared a few feet away from the club members. When the smoke cleared there stood a short man in long, gray robes. He held a large staff and a "I <3 Marillion" button on his left breast. In a booming voice he pronounced:

?????: I come bearing dramatic news that you all really need to hear!

Yorkius: Stop being so mysterious, Trolldalf. I think everyone here knows you.

Trolldalf: Ah, right. Anyway, King Hatemonchan is dead!

Yorkius: What?! That's absurd! How could that happen?

Trolldalf: He was battling the evil army, Le Spambots of Doom, and he was unfortunately overcome by their never-ending forces. He fought until his last breath.

Gloofe: So what do we do now?

Trolldalf: That's why I've come to you and Yorkius. We must convene within the castle, posthaste!

--------------------------------

To be continued..............

Trollheart · 06-30-2015, 05:18 PM

There's only one thing wrong with this: I want more, and I want it now! I don't want to have to wait! This is the best thing since Batlord's "Return of the Kings of Metal"! I nearly pissed myself with Batty's "I hate everything you stand for", ISB's choice of books and JWB's sentence actually made me wet myself I laughed so much.

Bravo, man, bravo! When can we have more?

Josef K · 06-30-2015, 05:39 PM

I burst our laughing at "I <3 Marillion". You know, because it's ridiculous that there are people who <3 Marillion. (I'm kidding, I love you Trollheart.)

06-29-2015, 06:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
Pet_Sounds Remember the underscore Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: The other side Posts: 2,489	Who on earth is Strawberry? __________________ Everybody's dying just to get the disease

06-29-2015, 08:52 AM	#4 (permalink)
Machine moon lake inc. Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Detroit Posts: 2,125	Jesus Christ okay this is gonna be fun. __________________ boost my ego listen to me stroke my delay pedal ever wanted to hear death grips songs... but they're acoustic? me neither.

06-29-2015, 11:17 AM	#7 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	Yeah, this sounds like it could be great. Looking forward to it. Good job! (The Sage Trolldalf approves) __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

06-30-2015, 05:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,970	There's only one thing wrong with this: I want more, and I want it now! I don't want to have to wait! This is the best thing since Batlord's "Return of the Kings of Metal"! I nearly pissed myself with Batty's "I hate everything you stand for", ISB's choice of books and JWB's sentence actually made me wet myself I laughed so much. Bravo, man, bravo! When can we have more? __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

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06-29-2015, 08:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	Oh god I love this already. Who else but YorkeDaddy? Also, I love how i'm the only normal name in that list.

06-30-2015, 05:39 PM	#10 (permalink)
Josef K A Jew on a motorbike! Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: Ann Arbor, MI Posts: 800	I burst our laughing at "I <3 Marillion". You know, because it's ridiculous that there are people who <3 Marillion. (I'm kidding, I love you Trollheart.)