modern gypsy (fan, title, quote, Hang)

ZeppelinAir · 12-18-2007, 01:57 AM

before i continue with it i want some opinion,

Modern Gypsy

Watch her just walk on by, walk on by,
The noose around her neck was too tightly tied,
A modern gypsy without a name, without a name,
The story is always the same

every time you walk on by, walk on by
I always try to stop you to try to tell you hi,
But your simple life would rather have you die, have you die,
But I will always come back to you,

Watch this gypsy just walk on by, walk on by
Each day I ask your name but its always the same,
Never able to say the line, say the line,
Before you run out of time.

~~TheCaster~~ · 12-18-2007, 07:14 AM

tell you hi, is rather out of pace

seems a bit childish for some reason... but i say continue with it..

ZeppelinAir · 12-18-2007, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheCaster

tell you hi, is rather out of pace

seems a bit childish for some reason... but i say continue with it..

it doesnt really go with it and i was going to change it when i got the chance

Ace · 12-19-2007, 03:35 AM

What is it supposed to be about?

ZeppelinAir · 12-19-2007, 04:13 PM

about more or less wondering person that was seen ans couldnt get out of the head

Gates_of_Iscariot · 12-19-2007, 07:59 PM

wtf is a modern gypsy

Ace · 12-19-2007, 08:32 PM

Hmm....kind of like a mystery woman. I'd reform it, just because I'm not really a fan of the structure. I don't know if I'd stick with the title either....modern doesn't really apply to gypsy, since there's still plenty around. Perhaps something like "Gypsy Woman". But that kind of reminds me of a title from ELO (I think), called "Witchy Woman". It's a good concept. Just try redoing some of it.

Gates_of_Iscariot · 12-19-2007, 08:33 PM

i can see the patterns in a million other songs.
spew your mind.
and rearrange it.

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12-18-2007, 01:57 AM
ZeppelinAir hahahHAHAHahaha.......ha Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 544	modern gypsy before i continue with it i want some opinion, Modern Gypsy Watch her just walk on by, walk on by, The noose around her neck was too tightly tied, A modern gypsy without a name, without a name, The story is always the same every time you walk on by, walk on by I always try to stop you to try to tell you hi, But your simple life would rather have you die, have you die, But I will always come back to you, Watch this gypsy just walk on by, walk on by Each day I ask your name but its always the same, Never able to say the line, say the line, Before you run out of time. __________________ Little Things "Sittin on a Toilet in a house i dont know, looking all around where the toilet paper go. feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain, got to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain" Rodney Carrington-Little Things

12-18-2007, 07:14 AM
~~TheCaster~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere in the U.S Posts: 386	tell you hi, is rather out of pace seems a bit childish for some reason... but i say continue with it..

12-19-2007, 03:35 AM
Ace Negative Creep Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: At a lake. For now. Posts: 519	What is it supposed to be about? __________________ You're never truly dead, unless your memory dies with you. http://hack-mind.cjb.net <---Vote so I'll update more than once a year. http://ace01071.web1000.com/complaints.html http://myspace.com/euphoric_resolve

12-19-2007, 04:13 PM
ZeppelinAir hahahHAHAHahaha.......ha Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere in Michigan Posts: 544	about more or less wondering person that was seen ans couldnt get out of the head __________________ Little Things "Sittin on a Toilet in a house i dont know, looking all around where the toilet paper go. feeling real uneasy, feeling real uncertain, got to wipe my ass again with a plastic shower curtain" Rodney Carrington-Little Things

12-19-2007, 07:59 PM
Gates_of_Iscariot Tounge in Cheek Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: new hampshire Posts: 166	wtf is a modern gypsy __________________ " you may be my bests friend at the moment but, I am going to have to kill you." doom doom doom -_- _____________________ \| \| )----------------------( \|___________________\| lol

12-19-2007, 08:32 PM
Ace Negative Creep Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: At a lake. For now. Posts: 519	Hmm....kind of like a mystery woman. I'd reform it, just because I'm not really a fan of the structure. I don't know if I'd stick with the title either....modern doesn't really apply to gypsy, since there's still plenty around. Perhaps something like "Gypsy Woman". But that kind of reminds me of a title from ELO (I think), called "Witchy Woman". It's a good concept. Just try redoing some of it. __________________ You're never truly dead, unless your memory dies with you. http://hack-mind.cjb.net <---Vote so I'll update more than once a year. http://ace01071.web1000.com/complaints.html http://myspace.com/euphoric_resolve

12-19-2007, 08:33 PM
Gates_of_Iscariot Tounge in Cheek Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: new hampshire Posts: 166	i can see the patterns in a million other songs. spew your mind. and rearrange it. __________________ " you may be my bests friend at the moment but, I am going to have to kill you." doom doom doom -_- _____________________ \| \| )----------------------( \|___________________\| lol