Quote:
Originally Posted by Dotoar
Link to the song
Skyline
Skyline in the evening
Every rooftop is revealing in the ginger light of sun
Everyone will run from to be outshun
Narrowing horizon for each monolithic rising
Marking places never seen for people never keen to live out their dream
Skyline all surrounding
Strives for equalizing all within the hegde around
Restore the human bound, temporarily found
Nothing is persistent in this world they are insisting is the place to be when in need of being free
I'd say: As if!
Skyline in reflection of all kinds of fake perfection
All the patience of the sun, watching all the guns, has no pendant here
So, we think we're something
Maybe time for reassembling all the bridges and towers
Make the evening glow throught the skyline show
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Dotoar,
I enjoyed listening to all three of your most recently posted songs, 'Veritas' (Truth), 'Skyline,' and 'I hate (etc.).'
All have that swimming, stream-of-consciousness feel plus the changes in time signatures that I associate with progressive rock. You also produced them very well. You create a terrific balance between vocals and instrumentals, and both sound professional, perfectly in pitch and in time, for example.
'Skyline' was my favorite, perhaps because it seems the most energetic to me with frequent jolts as the time signatures change.
I would prefer a different title than "I hate that I love you etc" for your final song, which sounds very different than hate and a feeling of foolishness for loving someone who does not reciprocate those feelings. I especially liked the chorus you created in this song through over-dubbing your voice, which gave the song a Beach Boys feel. Very lush. Foolish woman for not being won over!
Ah well. Such is love--you can't force it through your own.
Dotoar, I didn't pay much heed to the lyrics in these three songs, since the music seems more important than the lyrics that sometimes feel as if they lack a literal meaning and have instead more of an emotional one.
However, I did notice in the last two songs you tend to refer to the sun and sunshine a LOT, and even mention light in "Veritas." I feel that describing the sun and the experience of light seems very 'progressive rock-ish' and perhaps cliche. Your lyrics do fit the mood of the music very well, though.
Thinking about how you use the sun in your lyrics made me think of writing a song that has no use of visual descriptions of anything...a song that just uses the other senses rather than sight. I'm wondering now what sorts of songs a blind person tends to write, since the striking image of the sun would not exist for her if she had never seen it. Yet presumably the other senses would provide a similar feeling of awe and relaxation that we get from seeing the sun. The sense of sight is so overpowering that it is hard to ignore if one has it, yet I feel some interesting songs or ways of describing how we feel might result if we relied less heavily on visual references.
Tiny spelling comment: "Breath" is the noun; "breathe" is to inhale and exhale:
"come true in that the day will
breath of everlasting love."