Quote:
Originally Posted by ParadoxQ
Hey again dude. I got some alternatives for you, but I don't know if you'll like them. Anyway, here they are:
You wrote:
I destruct
Throwing feathers every way
I destruct
And the birds fly away for a while
I write:
I destruct
Throwing feathers every way
I destruct
And the birds fly away
Remove for a while to make the part sound more dynamic and maybe a bit more surreal and unknown. We don't really know how long they'll stay away now, and as you destruct, the birds will fly away. Maybe they're back when you're fine?
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I like that. I'm definitely making that change.
Quote:
You wrote:
One day, one day so soon
One birds crashes
Into bullet-proof glass
Drops into flaming trash
And soon, so soon after
The others follow suit
I write:
One day, one day so soon
One bird crashes
Into glass so bullet-proof
Drops into flaming trash
And soon, so soon after
The others follow suit
I didn't really make major differents, just some small to make they sound more dynamic (at least in my ears). You can yell at me if I ruined the verses, but this was my take on it. Btw, I got this one line your song that I ****ing love: As destructive positive negatives
Cheers for this time!
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Nah. Gonna keep that the way it is. Thanks for the advice, though.