So, I'm not taking acid for a good long time. I had the worst trip I've ever had the other day. It didn't seem like it was going to go awry; the set and setting were fine. I was comfortable, in a good head space, no risk of any bad vibes and surrounded by good, friendly folk...but it just didn't go well.
I've taken high doses on numerous occasions, and this dose wasn't all that high: five hits. That's usually right where I'll good really good open eye visuals, sometimes tracers that are so intense they'll blot out most of my field of vision. But on that dose, I'm still acutely aware that I'm tripping, and just sit back and enjoy the ride.
I tried that, but something set me off. I think it all really started when I was beginning to peak, and a friend of mine was drinking coffee. He referred to it as a "damn fine cup of coffee - and hot!" which got my mind looping around Twin Peaks.
The unfortunate thing is that my friend's living room rug looks like this:
and the "red room" in Twin Peaks canon - within the Black Lodge - looks like this:
So I started thinking about that, got lost in my thoughts, and a little troubled.
It just started getting cold the other night, so when I came to from my mind loop and looked around at my friends, I told them I was cold. One of my buddies tossed me a red fleece blanket, which I wrapped around me.
Then I started staring at the carpet. I somehow, because I was tripping too hard to understand what my friends were saying, became convinced I was trapped in the Black Lodge. My ears started ringing, and I was panicking, but I kept trying to reassure myself it was going to be okay, that I just needed to face the lodge with courage, and I'd be all right.
It was then that I noticed I was wrapped in the red blanket - which I perceived as being curtains, and lost it completely, trying desperately to free myself. (This part I don't really remember - it was told to me the next day when I came down) I also, at this point was apparently babbling nonsense about it not being the owls, but the deer, who aren't what they seem. And I also kept saying my soul was utterly destroyed, and I'd never ascend to the White Lodge now, and that Bob was near.
I was very convinced that Bob was standing right outside the room. I do remember that feeling.
There was a lot more babbling, including my conviction that The Lady In the Radiator was a spirit of the lodge, before my friends finally convinced me to take a Xanax (which I'm really not all that down with, but this was apparently drastic measures) and chill the fu
ck out.
I also vaguely remember "finding God" at some point in the trip, and him turning his back on me, but I'm not entirely sure how that tied into everything else.
But yes...a break from LSD is definitely going to happen.