Quote:
Originally Posted by Unchained Ballad
You see, I just feel like I've had that somewhat constantly for the last...bugger, 5 or so years; and that sounds really, really unlikely to me. I can't help but thinking I'm somehow exaggerating. Especially because I've never really had any particular reason to feel this way.
About having a goal in life: I think that's probably one of the most important things for someone to get through rough patches, and since I'm rather lost in that respect, I just give up whenever something proves to be relatively difficult, which obviously isn't good for your self esteem or for your image.
I'm glad that you're feeling well now, and I can only hope that one day I will too, but I find that ridiculously hard to believe.
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This is basically how I've felt for the last decade almost. Not black, unbearable depression. Just a sort of constant apathy, complete lack of self esteem, and low grade misery. I don't think about suicide that much, probably because it just doesn't get bad enough to make me think, "This is so horrible that I have to end it and I don't care how", I just sort of sit in my room and narcissistically brood. I guess my ability to care about much of anything has just been slowly drained from me until I'm left in this constant sort of boring grayness.