Quote:
Originally Posted by Ma Cherie
Hide away
Hide away, Hide away
I put on the shadows
(If they see me they will know)
<because shadows are really original>
Run away, Run away
They are coming for me again
(Always following me,always chasing me)
<here's that originality again!>
Go away, Go away
They won't leave me alone
(They yell they scream, they never rest)
The dead are walking
The dark is calling
Clawing, grabing, draging us down
I won't let them,I won't join them
<I thought your shadows were hiding you?>
I see the light a shrink away
As it burns my eyes
I pull down my shades
And I disappear
<You've been watching Big Daddy too much.>
Those who are holy
They reject
I always knew
They would never forget
<Are the dead people holy now?>
Redemtion seems so far away
But right now I cannot stay
I cannot help but curse the light
And from the dark I run in fright
I won't give up
I won't give in
I always run from
Blood and whim
No where to run
No where to hide
Some day soon
We all will die
<OMG DUH!>
Put on the shadows
Shade covered eyes
The day I rest
Is the day I die
|
I'm not trying to be horrible, but you used the simpliest English to describe what was happening, and it really had no purpose, why were you afraid? What was with the shades?
One word: symbolism
There was lack of it.
But I'm not saying it was completely crap either, it just needs some work and imagination, some personality even.