Quote:
Originally Posted by slappyjenkins
^^I feel somehow all of sudden naked after communicating with you in these last few posts...but that is not neccessarily a bad thing. I've needed a vent for a long time.
[...] And I'm that guy that you think of when something is going on in your life that you want to talk to...I can't tell you how many times I would sit and listen while someone had their head on my shoulder crying for hours and hours.
All I can say is I've been sick, I've needed a shoulder to cry on, I've needed money. And I have rarely gotten it back in return.
It breaks you down after a while.
Why in the world am I spewing all of this???? I thought we were going to talk about poetry LOL.
I guess that comment of 'I'm interested in where these come from' really was like releasing a valve for me!!! I didn't even realize!
Thank you my friend for taking a closer, longer look at me.
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Poetry is very personal, isn't it?
Maybe that's why you feel naked. Your insides get opened up for all to see. I think discussing poetry is even *more* revealing than being naked! (Maybe that's why I like poetry.
)
I feel venting is definitely healthy as long as you don't feel you are sharing more than you want to. I have my own list of names and grievances, yet I've also had closure with a few of the people from my past (and even apologies from some of them) years later, which has helped me move past. I accept that the people I have been involved with weren't perfect, and neither was I, and I accept that they were an important but not lasting part of my life and vice versa.
Yet in your case, some of these women definitely did take advantage of your supportiveness, without any apology, which I'm sorry about...especially the vet who only paid back half of the money you gave her. That's low, because I'm assuming she *has* the money but is choosing not to pay it back. Feeling exploited does feel awful when you truly care for someone. I also felt sad for years due to people who mistreated me yet never acknowledged they had done so. Their viewing me as unimportant made me struggle for a long time with low self worth. But I rallied back.
I agree that it's hard not to feel jaded, closed off, and cynical as a result of being exploited. When I feel that way, I try to work on forgiving people (in my mind) by remembering that they were probably just doing the best they could at the time, given who they were.
My thought is that when people use you or are callous toward you, they must have a lot of personal issues that make it hard for them to treat you respectfully and honestly...and I can't help but think that this must affect their relationship with themselves in a negative way. Perhaps someday they will regret their actions toward you, perhaps not. Yet if I had to choose between being a user vs. being the used, I'd much rather have been the person who was used because at least it meant I was *trying* to be trusting and loving.
Slappy, you are very welcome for my taking a closer look at you and your life story, the inspiration for your poetry. Most people don't usually like to disclose much about themselves, and since I'm curious by nature about how it feels for other people to be alive, I appreciate your satisfying some of my curiosity. I'm glad it also helps you to vent. That means it is a win-win situation! I do a lot of venting through my writing. I feel it is good therapy. Based on how much I write, I must need a lot of therapy!
Quote:
Originally Posted by slappyjenkins
Been thinking about this quite a lot and I will use it as an experiment the next time I poo poo, I mean write, you know what I mean. The next time I give birth.
I will let the lines come out as they want...I'll sit on them a couple days....then I'll put little clothes on them and cut their hair and show them to the world. And if I get that Jerry and Elaine reaction then I'm gonna punt the baby out the window. hehe
But no seriously I think that would be a very good exercise for me to push out a poem from my emotional place, then take time with it to work on its form. I'm sure the finished product would be stronger for it.
Very good suggestion! (as if I expected anything else from you)
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I'm glad you like the suggestion! I think it *would* be a good exercise...and the worst that will happen is that you end up with two versions, the original poem and the sculpted poem, which might look something like this:
