Seriously? You want some critique? Here it goes:
The reason I don't like what you've been writing is due to the fact that it sounds like you pulled multiple parts out of a My Chemical Romance song and put them together and called it your own. I don't know what your life is like, but you sound like a young teenager finally realizing what it's like to feel, and your trying to let your poetry reflect it. It sounds like a cliche "i hate my life" poem, and there's nothing interesting about it.
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