War on Thanksgiving
Have you noticed that Christmas is coming earlier each year? Seems especially early to me this year. November is the month of Thanksgiving, let Christmas wait its turn. That fat Santa fuck will be eating his cookies soon, let's make it more about becoming an even fatter fuck than Santa (Satan? Oh shit). It just goes to show that the priorities of the nation are materialistic. You care more about getting free shit and eating a shitload and fattening yourself up more than just the fattening yourself up part? You get to do it twice, motherfuckers, let's take this month back for the turkey with bread crumbs stuffed up its ass. It's time to end this war on Thanksgiving, where the devil is taking the giving out thanksgiving and thanks too because that makes it sound pretty bad since you won't even be saying thanks when you get things but you also won't be giving things, so it's pretty bad, dude.
Save your Christmas boner for December, cocksuckers.
Say a prayer for November.
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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.
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