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Old 12-05-2014, 08:55 PM   #17416 (permalink)
ladyislingering
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Seattle
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chula Vista View Post
It's all about perspective and how YOU choose to deal with things Rissa. Your glass always seems to be half empty. Not a good way to go through life.

Do me a favor and tell me 5 things that you are thankful for.
I'm really trying. I'm not always miserable. I've been making a point to listen to some of my favorite music when I'm doing morning maintenance on the salesfloor before the store opens, which has upped my energy a tiny bit but throughout the day I sort of just... lose it.

I'm usually a decent person. I'm a functioning human being most of the year but once winter hits I don't even know what the hell my brain is doing. It just decides it's going to make me think of terrible things, dwell on shit that happened years ago that I normally don't care about, and force me into a barely ambulatory state.

Caffeine sort of helps a little but the crash is intense. I have the worst migraine I've ever had in my life right now, and I never usually get headaches.

So it's really not that I'm not trying. I'm taking care of myself the best I can during my time of need, and just trying so hard to get through the winter, get through the holiday season and hope that the next one is easier.

I still have my sense of reasoning so it's easy for me to list 5 things I'm thankful for.
  • I'm thankful that I have a job that's given me health insurance.
  • I have an extended family that adores me.
  • My cat is healthy and well fed.
  • I have a boyfriend who loves me.
  • It may be cold outside but it's warm inside our apartment.

I have a good life. I just don't have a very good level of dopamine in my brain right now.
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